Sad News
upsetting news
My uncle died last night.
Its been a long day
It started as
I was going to bed at my normal ungodly time of 6 am. i was just laying down to go to bed and mom came into my room screaming at me . I thought I had done something because I had my mp3 player on and so i took my earbuds out and shes sobbing that uncle Mark is DEAD. I didn't really get it at first. Sort of like what now? Clearly you misspoke sort of thing. Shes still holding the phone in her hand and grandmas still on the line and shes just a wreck. I get her to hang up and its.. its bad. shes like shaking shes sobbing so hard.
The thing is .. i don't feel anything. I just start blabbering about this can't be and I don't understand and its not correct and I don't know how to feel and .... It just dawns on me. I'm acting like Anya in The Body. And it made me feel sort of sick with myself and kind of calm. Like how stupid are you to act like a fictional character when your mothers on the floor crying? On the other hand it was sort of like .. a bit funny which calmed me down. I can still laugh so i can get through this.
We ended up going to my grandmothers house.
When we got there my mom started crying some more and I just felt really hyper so I started to sweep. ten I VACUUMED. i loath vacuuming. Even more so if I'm using my grandmother vacuum. its very heavy. I just felt like I had to move. I went with grandma to feed Riley my uncle Marks dog. He wouldn't leave the man cave, which is where my uncle died. I guess my mom got him coaxed out and we all went over his house.
It was just awful. my Aunt Diane and cousin Abbey's eyes were just so red. My cousin Amanda was just .. fine though. Like me. We played some games and the only time she even made a mention of my uncle being dead was when she asked why they called it a heart attack. Shes 9 so she understands what death is . I just don't think its hit her. Or maybe because shes young ish shes able to .. have faith or something. I never was like that. I was always afraid of God terrified of hell but other then that I didn't believe. SO in this sick way I was glad. Because I could help her. Play with her keep her entertained. With Abbey she would just start crying sometimes and I couldn't do anything. I know I'm twisted.
All these questions were running through my head that i wanted to ask BUT DID NOT. Thank god. Like was the house payed off? What about his equipment ( he was an independent construction worker and plumber) . The situation is made worse because my aunt recently lost her job.
I guess what happened was he had a heart attack in his "man cave". My grandfather had a wood shop at my grandparents house that my Uncle Mark of took over after he died. He putzs around in there doing whatever and he has a vegetable garden at my grandparents as well. they live on 15+ acres of land in the country so theres plenty of space. My aunt Diane called my grandmother around 10 pm last night to see if he was still there. She saw his truck so she went over there and found him.
I just .. want to do something. I was wondering if anyone knew how to get Justin Bibers autograph. I loath and despise him with all my being but Abbey and Amanda love him. I just want to do something. Amanda wants me to bring her fudge from New York So I'm going to see if usakeh and i can stop in to Serendipity's.
Its another thing i'm feeling really bad about. I'll be missing his memorial service because its on Wednesday and I leave Tuesday. At the same time i'm grateful because i know i'll be in the way. My Uncle Davids coming in with his kids (Andrew and Ashely) from Dubai. Which is really good because his family and my Uncle Marks are super close. Andrew and Abbey are 6 months apart and so are Amanda and Ashely. I don't think he wants me around his kids anyway. So I'm kind of glad i won't be hovering feeling even more useless.
My uncle died last night.
Its been a long day
It started as
I was going to bed at my normal ungodly time of 6 am. i was just laying down to go to bed and mom came into my room screaming at me . I thought I had done something because I had my mp3 player on and so i took my earbuds out and shes sobbing that uncle Mark is DEAD. I didn't really get it at first. Sort of like what now? Clearly you misspoke sort of thing. Shes still holding the phone in her hand and grandmas still on the line and shes just a wreck. I get her to hang up and its.. its bad. shes like shaking shes sobbing so hard.
The thing is .. i don't feel anything. I just start blabbering about this can't be and I don't understand and its not correct and I don't know how to feel and .... It just dawns on me. I'm acting like Anya in The Body. And it made me feel sort of sick with myself and kind of calm. Like how stupid are you to act like a fictional character when your mothers on the floor crying? On the other hand it was sort of like .. a bit funny which calmed me down. I can still laugh so i can get through this.
We ended up going to my grandmothers house.
When we got there my mom started crying some more and I just felt really hyper so I started to sweep. ten I VACUUMED. i loath vacuuming. Even more so if I'm using my grandmother vacuum. its very heavy. I just felt like I had to move. I went with grandma to feed Riley my uncle Marks dog. He wouldn't leave the man cave, which is where my uncle died. I guess my mom got him coaxed out and we all went over his house.
It was just awful. my Aunt Diane and cousin Abbey's eyes were just so red. My cousin Amanda was just .. fine though. Like me. We played some games and the only time she even made a mention of my uncle being dead was when she asked why they called it a heart attack. Shes 9 so she understands what death is . I just don't think its hit her. Or maybe because shes young ish shes able to .. have faith or something. I never was like that. I was always afraid of God terrified of hell but other then that I didn't believe. SO in this sick way I was glad. Because I could help her. Play with her keep her entertained. With Abbey she would just start crying sometimes and I couldn't do anything. I know I'm twisted.
All these questions were running through my head that i wanted to ask BUT DID NOT. Thank god. Like was the house payed off? What about his equipment ( he was an independent construction worker and plumber) . The situation is made worse because my aunt recently lost her job.
I guess what happened was he had a heart attack in his "man cave". My grandfather had a wood shop at my grandparents house that my Uncle Mark of took over after he died. He putzs around in there doing whatever and he has a vegetable garden at my grandparents as well. they live on 15+ acres of land in the country so theres plenty of space. My aunt Diane called my grandmother around 10 pm last night to see if he was still there. She saw his truck so she went over there and found him.
I just .. want to do something. I was wondering if anyone knew how to get Justin Bibers autograph. I loath and despise him with all my being but Abbey and Amanda love him. I just want to do something. Amanda wants me to bring her fudge from New York So I'm going to see if usakeh and i can stop in to Serendipity's.
Its another thing i'm feeling really bad about. I'll be missing his memorial service because its on Wednesday and I leave Tuesday. At the same time i'm grateful because i know i'll be in the way. My Uncle Davids coming in with his kids (Andrew and Ashely) from Dubai. Which is really good because his family and my Uncle Marks are super close. Andrew and Abbey are 6 months apart and so are Amanda and Ashely. I don't think he wants me around his kids anyway. So I'm kind of glad i won't be hovering feeling even more useless.