Rock and Roll High School
so.. I could talk about what happend this year but I really dont want to go there. So lets talk about the funness that is my latest drama. culdnt start a new year without one. ok so here it is. I have decied to bow to pressure from everyone (even some teachers) and am dropping out of high school. itd killing me. but I think it might be for the best. I'v missed so much school. I won't be able to make up what needs to be made up without making myself sick. which I am. So i've been throwing up like crazy for ohh since june. each month it just got worse and worse. it got to the point where I havent been to school since october . well iv stopped by to get homework and such but ... so i was really supposted to graduate school last year but due to my chocies in life (trying to homeschool myself for a year and half) i was way behind. they put me in as a shophmore and said I could graduate this year with 26 credits. well that was the old idea. now i have to get the full 28. which means taking four very hard very stresful online classes. as i have learned from my brife life as a home schooled student online school and I dont mix. true my grandfather is no longer dieing of brain cancer so my mother and i are no longer caring for him.. but still it didnt work out.
so I've been out of school for testing.. I have been poked prodded and explored in ways i care not to say. yt they could find nothing. we our now thinking that it is stress. mostly from school
my teacher that the school sent to the house twice a week even said that I shouldnt be taking all my classes and should think about droping two of my normal classes besides my online ones.
so my life long dreams of graduating high school are now dust. most of my dreams are. I used to dream of going to Harvard my chance is long gone I'm going to have issues getting into a STATE SCHOOL its jsut.. so upseting. I had such dreams for myself. they're just gone now. well i decied to drop out yesterday. this moring i was ""(yellingly) informed that even though I am dropping out to get my ged(the shame I feel is just.. sicking.) i will still have to endur the pain of going to school. I dont think I have the strangth to go back. to go to a place I lost. you see i love school. Love to lern. i'm pretty damm smart to. always tested high. well not in math I suck in math but in everything else, I do very well. english( my ppassion for reading is the almost a sickness.) , history (very well. like A+ my whole life I LOVE history. so much. the past is a huge passion of mine. in fact I think i'm the only person in our history class who would read the parts we didnt cover for fun. I did the same with my Lit book.) I was an advrage B student in science. Did rarther well last year in french (my first year) loved and throughly ROCKED theater. I have always loved the arts so any kind of classes doing with them I always took. ( one of my faves was Art History.) I love learning. my mother and grandmother cant seem to understand the pain it causes me to go back to my much loved school and be around my friends and classmates. they say i need the interaction. they cant seem to grasp that I will feel so .. god cant even think of the right words. Just the thought of sitting there with everyone listing to the other sinors talk about graduation and how amazing it is to be a sinor. I'm starting to tear up just thinking of it. I dont get the good deal for when i fianly take my GED andleave. they do. they get such normal lives. they have their whole lives ahead of them. they get to feel the giddyness of going to prom ( never been wasnt alowed to last year) they get to walk across the stage.. get that deploma. it hurts so much. I just dont se the point in going when I know I have no real reson to be there. I no longer belong there. Never really did but still knowing I was working towrds my deploma gave me a place there. the few friends i've manged to make. I'll miss them I do when i'm stuck at home but I'll be even more sad around them knowing that we havent had a lonjg enough time together to creat friendships that can last ooutside school. n when I leave school I leave them to.
got this posts so deppressing. it seems what was ment to be a fun bubbly outlet has just turned out to be away to show off my debby downerness.
so now I have to go back to school. its eather that or I have to move into a group home for homless youths. i dont know which is better.
so I've been out of school for testing.. I have been poked prodded and explored in ways i care not to say. yt they could find nothing. we our now thinking that it is stress. mostly from school
my teacher that the school sent to the house twice a week even said that I shouldnt be taking all my classes and should think about droping two of my normal classes besides my online ones.
so my life long dreams of graduating high school are now dust. most of my dreams are. I used to dream of going to Harvard my chance is long gone I'm going to have issues getting into a STATE SCHOOL its jsut.. so upseting. I had such dreams for myself. they're just gone now. well i decied to drop out yesterday. this moring i was ""(yellingly) informed that even though I am dropping out to get my ged(the shame I feel is just.. sicking.) i will still have to endur the pain of going to school. I dont think I have the strangth to go back. to go to a place I lost. you see i love school. Love to lern. i'm pretty damm smart to. always tested high. well not in math I suck in math but in everything else, I do very well. english( my ppassion for reading is the almost a sickness.) , history (very well. like A+ my whole life I LOVE history. so much. the past is a huge passion of mine. in fact I think i'm the only person in our history class who would read the parts we didnt cover for fun. I did the same with my Lit book.) I was an advrage B student in science. Did rarther well last year in french (my first year) loved and throughly ROCKED theater. I have always loved the arts so any kind of classes doing with them I always took. ( one of my faves was Art History.) I love learning. my mother and grandmother cant seem to understand the pain it causes me to go back to my much loved school and be around my friends and classmates. they say i need the interaction. they cant seem to grasp that I will feel so .. god cant even think of the right words. Just the thought of sitting there with everyone listing to the other sinors talk about graduation and how amazing it is to be a sinor. I'm starting to tear up just thinking of it. I dont get the good deal for when i fianly take my GED andleave. they do. they get such normal lives. they have their whole lives ahead of them. they get to feel the giddyness of going to prom ( never been wasnt alowed to last year) they get to walk across the stage.. get that deploma. it hurts so much. I just dont se the point in going when I know I have no real reson to be there. I no longer belong there. Never really did but still knowing I was working towrds my deploma gave me a place there. the few friends i've manged to make. I'll miss them I do when i'm stuck at home but I'll be even more sad around them knowing that we havent had a lonjg enough time together to creat friendships that can last ooutside school. n when I leave school I leave them to.
got this posts so deppressing. it seems what was ment to be a fun bubbly outlet has just turned out to be away to show off my debby downerness.
so now I have to go back to school. its eather that or I have to move into a group home for homless youths. i dont know which is better.