I wanna kill you but I cant. you see I'm a Barbie girl and my hands cant hold the gun.
well i hurt. all over. mer. so yesterday mom got stuck in the snow because insted of parking like a normal person she some how drove into the snow . so we live on a hill. we over look our pond and its a STEEP way down. i suck at discriptions so basicly we have one side of the yard thats by the wods and by the hills drop on to the path that leads to the pond. this sside has some grave on it because if you go striaght back on that side you can walk/drive back to what i call man camp. it was my grandfathers woodshop bbut one of my uncles took it over after he got sick and now hold it in his grasp. its his gross ciggert butt smoke smelling tool holding batcave. anyway he put down said gravel path. i dont know why but insted of just stoping at the driveway like we always do she swered into that side... maybe she slid? it didnt seem like she di though. well long story short she made me help push the car out of the snow. i feel TWICE. and now my chest hurts my arm hurts from when i fell on it the first time my back is crazy... and i'm feeling very bitter because i found out she went to get a massage today. thats ok right? i get a bitchy bitter pass right? i dont think i dersvre it though the way i'v been acting. its just i feel like shes invading EVERYTHIONG. like yesterday (please random people dont yell at me i fel vbad nough about it its just how i feel and i'm sorry.) i went to go try out for the all female version of the odd couple. and when were there mom suddnely anouces SHE wants to try out to. ok so logic me KNOWS 1. she has every right to try out 2. it might be a good thing for her and 3. i cas not tell her what to do. but well i LOST IT. i dont know its just it felt like she was trying to be me. she can do that some times with my friends and other people...it just feels like shes trying to take over somthing of mine and i get overshadowed. i just want to do somthing on my own. somthing whre i can be indipendent my own person. ssomthing she cant taint. because she does taint my stuff. she always has. she would go to the practces of my other play and be so much.. biger then me and of course i would feel thretend and i would slink into myself or try to be bigger then her and i always looked like an ass. well she tried out and it was just.. we had a fight. and i hate myself . still. even thoiugh it was over 24 hours ago the guilt is just eating at me. why am i such a bad person? why cant i be happy for her? why am i so bad?