Buttoned Up
Written for Tumblr's Klaine Advent Challenge (a 100+ word drabble a day)
Prompt #19: Stitch
A/N - Takes place after s4e10 (Glee, Actually), following Departure.
***
His dad might have looked at him funny after returning from the airport but Kurt gave nothing away. Sure, he’d bawled his eyes out. Twice. Although the second time wasn’t just because of Blaine, it was about being alone too. Yes, being in New York was a dream come true.
Except the problem with dreams, is that they don’t mesh with reality very well. Kurt was working harder than he ever thought he’d have to. He and Rachel got along well living together, better than he anticipated actually, but the budget was tight, like, really tight. Tight enough that his dad still paid for his phone plan and covered the cable bill too. That was…humbling. But that wasn’t really the issue. No, the problem was that Kurt was in limbo. And he very much disliked it.
Classes at NYADA were just around the corner. The only people he knew there were Rachel and Brody, and frankly he didn’t think they’re were going to be much help, not with the way they’d been mooning over each other, which left him on the outs. He was determined to continue his internship alongside Isabelle, who was a wonderful mentor but also very busy; and since Kurt had informed his co-worker, Chase, that he preferred not to mix business with pleasure, he too had kept his distance, leaving Kurt to his own devices at work.
Yes, he needed a friend. Someone closer to him than at the end of the phone line. Someone he could reach out and touch, if he wanted to. He’d missed the little touches that Blaine had constantly laid on him; a shoulder nudge, hand on his lower back, fingertips against his wrist, their hands clasped together, an arm wrapped around his waist, cuddles on the couch, a thumb brushing his cheek, kisses….wait, no - this was about more than Blaine. Or a boyfriend. Or a body. This was about loneliness. This was about talking through his dad’s situation with someone other than the voice in his head, who kept parroting the worst at him over and over. This was about sharing his day with someone who could commiserate with him. Preferably over coffee. With hand holding and appraising looks. Or a game of footsie under the table. Shit. This was about Blaine. Or a boyfriend. Or a body. But Blaine was not an option, at least for the last part of the equation. There was so much that could - would - go wrong between them that Kurt wouldn’t even consider the idea. It was too soon. It still hurt too much. They still had so much to learn about themselves and how they had let this happen to them. No, now was not the right time to try for more. It was too risky. He wouldn’t be able to take another heartbreak. No, right now, Kurt needed safe.
Later that night, Kurt couldn’t sleep and not just because of his dad’s snoring. Even warm milk hadn’t been able to get the job done, so he took an Ambien and curled up on the couch to watch late night television. Between dozing and thinking in circles, a ridiculous infomercial caught his eye.
“Are you lonely?” the spokesperson drawled. Yes.
“Do you need companionship?” Yes, very much so. Maybe this was the answer! Maybe he could curl up with a comforting arm wrapped around him, someone who wouldn’t break his heart, someone who wouldn’t be too busy for him, someone he could cuddle with. Or maybe it was just a little too Jeffery Dahmeresque to be sleeping with random body parts Kurt realized bitterly and changed the channel abruptly. How on earth was a cushy pillow with a creepy arm supposed to give him all that? It was nothing but stitches and stuffing. How could that give him what he needed?
He flipped from one channel to another before finding a re-run of the Golden Girls and tucked a cushion under his head to watch in comfort. He’d just have to suck it up, take the risk and make some new friends at school. Hopefully ones that liked the shows that he did.
Torch>>