It's Not Unusual
Parings: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: 4x21
Summary: Reaction fic to 4x21 in Kurt’s POV. Kurt's in survival mode but the idea of Blaine is in everything he does.
It weighs heavy on Kurt when he lugs his suitcase upstairs to his old room. Being back is… Well, it’s wonderful to see Carole as usual and, of course, his dad who he hugged so tightly that he may have popped a blood vessel or two. But between the looming test results and seeing Blaine, he’s not sure which one makes him more nervous. Okay, no. That’s a lie. The test results have the ability to devastate him, whereas Blaine wouldn’t do that. Again.
When he chooses his outfit to wear to McKinley, Kurt spends more time than usual wiggling into his tight ecru jeans. They’re so tight he has to lie down to zip them up but it’s worth it. As strange as it will be seeing Blaine for the first time since the wedding, he feels the need to look hotter than ever before. Not that he has anything to prove. They talk and text. Sure, they don’t tell each other everything that’s going on with their love lives, but they talk and, more importantly, Blaine listens when Kurt needs to ramble about his dad or Gleason scores or advances in dietary medicine. They’ve definitely spent more time talking about prostates now than when they were dating. Although, that’s not surprising. The state of one’s prostate is not a topic normally discussed over a candlelit dinner. It’s hardly romantic and Blaine, if nothing else, is as much of a romantic as Kurt is. Or was. He’s not sure anymore. Things might have changed in the face of everything that’s happened between them. And sure, romance is the last thing on Kurt’s mind right now and he made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t hook up with Blaine this visit; no matter how much his stupidly tight pants remind him that he wants to. Sex will solve nothing.
So he readies himself. Poured into his jeans and comforted by his favorite scarf, he watches in the hallway as Blaine chats and pulls books from his locker. Sure, it’s not as weird as before and he doesn’t feel sad when he looks at Blaine anymore. In fact, if he’s being honest with himself, just seeing his ex-boyfriend in those red pants, those stupid special red pants that only serve to bring back memories of dancing in the quad to the strains of Tom Jones, makes him dizzy. As Kurt crosses his arms, he glances down and spies the airplane brooch holding his scarf together, holding him together today, and he lets himself get lost for a moment in the spell of his senior year, in the day that Blaine transferred simply to be with him. If only life was so simple now.
Later, as Kurt stands there in the Lima Bean with the coffees in hand while Blaine waits for his order to be handed over, he tries to distract himself from the words spilling out of Blaine, the promises of New York and soon. He wants it. He does. He wants everything that Blaine is alluding to and more but right now…right now he needs to walk the path that leads to his father's test results. After that, he promises himself. After that, there can be thoughts and fantasies of more. There can be late night whispered phone calls and gentle teasing that turns into affectionate flirting. There can be dirty words typed out and glimpses of skin sent. There can be lingering looks and soft touches that could, would, lead to more when they meet up again. To kisses littered along collarbones and whispers of love and longing; pressing each other up against walls and kissing until they’re panting. But right now…right now, he needs to breathe and distract himself from the future he wants, a future he knows would be tainted by more grief than he’s ever known if his dad can’t be there to share in his happiness.
He smiles to himself when Mercedes incessantly spouts buzz words about her new video as he fiddles with the sugar packets. He’ll do anything to stop looking at Blaine, at those eyes that seem to know exactly what he’s thinking. He can’t let him see. Not yet. Kurt can already feel the weight of Blaine’s gaze on his skin and he knows his actions are being catalogued and cross checked. He can’t tell him. Not yet. He dreads having to answer Mercedes’ question about them and when it comes, Kurt blows out a long breath in relief as Blaine answers for them both. But when Blaine looks to him to for confirmation that it’s okay that they’re not together, he can’t say anything. Not yet.
It’s Mercedes that grabs his hand first when he snaps at Mike and he’s grateful, really he is. He’s happy that she gets it without him having to spell the whole thing out again, but it’s not the same as when Blaine reaches across the table and slides his fingers against Kurt’s. It grounds him instantly and when Kurt looks up, he knows and he knows that Blaine knows. Soon. He’ll tell him soon.
It turns out that soon isn’t very far away, after all. There are hugs all ‘round in the doctor’s office when the all clear comes and Kurt can barely wait to see Blaine to tell him but his dad throws him off by calling his ex-boyfriend from the car as they travel back to the house. He finds himself itching to move when they sit down at the kitchen table and revel in the good news over cups of herbal tea. Kurt can barely sit still. There’s nothing to fuss over, nothing to rearrange in an effort to exert control, nothing to distract him from what has been staring him down for a while now. When the kitchen clock ticks past 28 minutes past two, he doesn’t feel the overwhelming need to touch his nose for luck. Instead, he finds himself standing and grabbing the car keys to hustle his dad into the car and off to McKinley with a bright idea.
Kurt loses track of his father somewhere around the front office but he doesn’t mind. Single-mindedly, he searches for Blaine’s class to wait out the bell and walk to glee club together, like old times. He jumps when the bell rings as he turns the last corner and students spill out of classrooms left and right. Kurt feels swallowed by the crowd, twisting in the currents of the school until he spots Blaine wandering out, head down. He stands still, forcing the tide to move around him for a change, and holds his breath as Blaine seems to stop on a whim, his head jerking up to look at Kurt in surprise. Blaine stands his ground as the hallway empties and it’s just the two of them left.
It’s now, Kurt decides, as he starts to stride towards his future. Blaine is there to catch him when Kurt launches himself into his arms, as always. He never wants to let go. Not again. Never again.
“It’s over,” Blaine whispers as his fingers dig into his shoulder. Kurt can’t find his voice right away, dragging in a shaky breath instead and refuses to let go.
“I love you.” He can feel Blaine smile against his skin as his chin digs in and it’s wonderful.
“I love you too. So much.”
“Soon,” Kurt murmurs and lets Blaine pull away to look at him questioningly. Impulsively, Kurt darts forward and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. He steps back and they smile dumbly at each other for a few more seconds, both sets of eyes drifting to the other’s lips and back again until Kurt remembers where they supposed to be. Taking Blaine’s hand in his, Kurt pulls him in the direction of the choir room. “C’mon, I know a shortcut.”
Fin
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: 4x21
Summary: Reaction fic to 4x21 in Kurt’s POV. Kurt's in survival mode but the idea of Blaine is in everything he does.
It weighs heavy on Kurt when he lugs his suitcase upstairs to his old room. Being back is… Well, it’s wonderful to see Carole as usual and, of course, his dad who he hugged so tightly that he may have popped a blood vessel or two. But between the looming test results and seeing Blaine, he’s not sure which one makes him more nervous. Okay, no. That’s a lie. The test results have the ability to devastate him, whereas Blaine wouldn’t do that. Again.
When he chooses his outfit to wear to McKinley, Kurt spends more time than usual wiggling into his tight ecru jeans. They’re so tight he has to lie down to zip them up but it’s worth it. As strange as it will be seeing Blaine for the first time since the wedding, he feels the need to look hotter than ever before. Not that he has anything to prove. They talk and text. Sure, they don’t tell each other everything that’s going on with their love lives, but they talk and, more importantly, Blaine listens when Kurt needs to ramble about his dad or Gleason scores or advances in dietary medicine. They’ve definitely spent more time talking about prostates now than when they were dating. Although, that’s not surprising. The state of one’s prostate is not a topic normally discussed over a candlelit dinner. It’s hardly romantic and Blaine, if nothing else, is as much of a romantic as Kurt is. Or was. He’s not sure anymore. Things might have changed in the face of everything that’s happened between them. And sure, romance is the last thing on Kurt’s mind right now and he made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t hook up with Blaine this visit; no matter how much his stupidly tight pants remind him that he wants to. Sex will solve nothing.
So he readies himself. Poured into his jeans and comforted by his favorite scarf, he watches in the hallway as Blaine chats and pulls books from his locker. Sure, it’s not as weird as before and he doesn’t feel sad when he looks at Blaine anymore. In fact, if he’s being honest with himself, just seeing his ex-boyfriend in those red pants, those stupid special red pants that only serve to bring back memories of dancing in the quad to the strains of Tom Jones, makes him dizzy. As Kurt crosses his arms, he glances down and spies the airplane brooch holding his scarf together, holding him together today, and he lets himself get lost for a moment in the spell of his senior year, in the day that Blaine transferred simply to be with him. If only life was so simple now.
Later, as Kurt stands there in the Lima Bean with the coffees in hand while Blaine waits for his order to be handed over, he tries to distract himself from the words spilling out of Blaine, the promises of New York and soon. He wants it. He does. He wants everything that Blaine is alluding to and more but right now…right now he needs to walk the path that leads to his father's test results. After that, he promises himself. After that, there can be thoughts and fantasies of more. There can be late night whispered phone calls and gentle teasing that turns into affectionate flirting. There can be dirty words typed out and glimpses of skin sent. There can be lingering looks and soft touches that could, would, lead to more when they meet up again. To kisses littered along collarbones and whispers of love and longing; pressing each other up against walls and kissing until they’re panting. But right now…right now, he needs to breathe and distract himself from the future he wants, a future he knows would be tainted by more grief than he’s ever known if his dad can’t be there to share in his happiness.
He smiles to himself when Mercedes incessantly spouts buzz words about her new video as he fiddles with the sugar packets. He’ll do anything to stop looking at Blaine, at those eyes that seem to know exactly what he’s thinking. He can’t let him see. Not yet. Kurt can already feel the weight of Blaine’s gaze on his skin and he knows his actions are being catalogued and cross checked. He can’t tell him. Not yet. He dreads having to answer Mercedes’ question about them and when it comes, Kurt blows out a long breath in relief as Blaine answers for them both. But when Blaine looks to him to for confirmation that it’s okay that they’re not together, he can’t say anything. Not yet.
It’s Mercedes that grabs his hand first when he snaps at Mike and he’s grateful, really he is. He’s happy that she gets it without him having to spell the whole thing out again, but it’s not the same as when Blaine reaches across the table and slides his fingers against Kurt’s. It grounds him instantly and when Kurt looks up, he knows and he knows that Blaine knows. Soon. He’ll tell him soon.
It turns out that soon isn’t very far away, after all. There are hugs all ‘round in the doctor’s office when the all clear comes and Kurt can barely wait to see Blaine to tell him but his dad throws him off by calling his ex-boyfriend from the car as they travel back to the house. He finds himself itching to move when they sit down at the kitchen table and revel in the good news over cups of herbal tea. Kurt can barely sit still. There’s nothing to fuss over, nothing to rearrange in an effort to exert control, nothing to distract him from what has been staring him down for a while now. When the kitchen clock ticks past 28 minutes past two, he doesn’t feel the overwhelming need to touch his nose for luck. Instead, he finds himself standing and grabbing the car keys to hustle his dad into the car and off to McKinley with a bright idea.
Kurt loses track of his father somewhere around the front office but he doesn’t mind. Single-mindedly, he searches for Blaine’s class to wait out the bell and walk to glee club together, like old times. He jumps when the bell rings as he turns the last corner and students spill out of classrooms left and right. Kurt feels swallowed by the crowd, twisting in the currents of the school until he spots Blaine wandering out, head down. He stands still, forcing the tide to move around him for a change, and holds his breath as Blaine seems to stop on a whim, his head jerking up to look at Kurt in surprise. Blaine stands his ground as the hallway empties and it’s just the two of them left.
It’s now, Kurt decides, as he starts to stride towards his future. Blaine is there to catch him when Kurt launches himself into his arms, as always. He never wants to let go. Not again. Never again.
“It’s over,” Blaine whispers as his fingers dig into his shoulder. Kurt can’t find his voice right away, dragging in a shaky breath instead and refuses to let go.
“I love you.” He can feel Blaine smile against his skin as his chin digs in and it’s wonderful.
“I love you too. So much.”
“Soon,” Kurt murmurs and lets Blaine pull away to look at him questioningly. Impulsively, Kurt darts forward and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. He steps back and they smile dumbly at each other for a few more seconds, both sets of eyes drifting to the other’s lips and back again until Kurt remembers where they supposed to be. Taking Blaine’s hand in his, Kurt pulls him in the direction of the choir room. “C’mon, I know a shortcut.”
Fin