(no subject)

[giggles_tonz]

i dont know what to think anymore... i get yelled at for nothing, i am sick of this. honestly i feel like i am not worth a second glance in my parent eyes. my day was going so wonderfully, i had a good school day and i got to talk to cassie. like everything was going well.... untill i came home. my mom flipping freaks out at me for no reason.. seriously, i will never be like her, i made that promise long time ago. she favors one daughter over the other asnd i dont know why... julie isnt an angel, GOD i am so frustrated, that girl is such a bitch and my parents dont do anything to change that.. she is gonna be one of those types of girls in high school that make ppls lives at school miserable. i am sorry for saying that i know she is my sister but i dont feel like that any more... honestly we're arent close we hate eachother... what can i do, i have tried for some time now to change our relationship.. and i am done with trying.. if anything is going to change.. she's gonna be the one making the moves to change it. and with my mom, i dont know what i did, she totally freaked out on me.. does she want me to come and visit when i leave for college? cause at this point i feel like leaving and never looking back. i feel like my family is so much to me, and i am nothing to them... this is shit. GOD I FUCKING HATE THEM!

my best friend needs me and i cant be there for her.. i hate this. i hate lief i hate everything a this moment.. maybe its just that i missed my meds last night and i am having an exspecailly hard time with this... but i dont know, maybe its not. i wish i could be there for her.. but i cant because i am a fucking hour away. every one else has their best friends right next to them... you guys are lucky.