Its Over...
I woke up today and I realized, damn, today is the last Sunday that I'm gonna wake up and think "Crap, I have school tomorrow!" It feels so strange when I think that I'm gonna graduate on Friday, and thats the end of everything I've known since I was 5 years old. Senior year has been the biggest mix of emotions! I've had my bad moments, getting dumped, getting rejected by six ivies, not playing soccer, or watching every movie with my friends because I'm too busy doing homework in an effort to attain a dream that inevitable was out of my reach. But I've gained so much more! I got over Yale! All it took was all of spring break, a trip to the zoo and some guitar hero, but I actually got over, contrary to my prior beliefs. I got another boyfriend, who i can confidently say I love and I want to keep this going with past June 6th! I'm going to UF, which I never thought I'd be so happy about but I am! I can't wait for the football, my Japanese courses, the late night studying, and being another 4 years with some of my best friends from high school. That and Jorge is a little less than an hour away, speeding of course ^_^ I've been so busy this year, as evident in the fact that I haven't really written in my journal since Christmas, when I was heavily drugged and fevered. It's been nonstop, but I've loved it all--The AGS trip, the MAO states con, Prom, all the drama days, oh yea turning 18 even though I had an "anti-boy girls day in" quasi-party XD
I promised myself that I wouldn't cry like a mad hick lady at a religious sermon, but i already started crying -_- I was thinking in the shower the other day and I was thinking about this upcoming drama day until i thought that this might be the last one, or at least for a very extensive period of time. Naturally, as is the case with me of course, I started bawling. Jorge says its dumb to bawl, but it freaks me out every time I think that I'm leaving this group of friends that I've grown so close to in the past three years. I've had so many different groups of friends since I was a kid, cliques if you will, but I've never been able to truly be myself until the friends I was crying about obsessively in the shower. Every time I think about how we all came together, I just get mind boggled because it was almost like fate. We all would've met up one way or another, which is another reason why I'm gonna try my hardest to keep this going past high school because you don't mess with fate. I don't think I'll ever meet friends as great as you guys, and you know who you all are. Despite all the drama, the crushes, and misunderstandings, we've been able to remain friends. That's fucking beautiful in my books.
So on Friday, we're done, but it feels right. This year's been culminated by splatter art and a pool filled with cake water. Oddly enough, when I was doing that splatter art, I was kinda thinking "to hell with it" which is what I'm actually thinking right now. To hell with our crappy school, which is slowly but surely going to the dumps, to hell with finals, to hell with all the pretentious people who talk crap, to hell with chongas, etc... But at the same time I was thinking, damn it was fun. I didn't get to do it all, but in retrospect, I think my senior year was about as perfect as it could've been. The only regret I have is wasting paper and time, oh yea and money, on applications to schools that I never would've gone into and than now I realize I don't need after-all.
Well.... congratulations to all of us! We're done! Now we're actually totally in control of our lives O.O