getting old....
I take it Back
"I'm beginning to block out the bad things people who dont matter say about me or not take it personally."
I do still take it personally. I dont want to and I try not to but I still do.
I'm sick of it. Summer is going to be good for me to just get away from the department. I'm tired of picking up the slack but not being respected or defended when things come up. I know I may sound like a bitch right now but this is a way of me venting. I'm really really really really tired from the whole situation. No matter what I do I don't feel like I'm defended for my decisions or the work I do. Its hard to constantly be battling this, knowing that some people can do nothing and get away with it. I feel Like I'm being a really horrible person but its just needs to come out of my body from my fingers and onto this page. Its getting old...its getting really old. I've been tempted to give up.
I know I shouldn't take this stuff personally or anything and the only person I need to please is myself but I feel that no matter what decision I make I'm going to disappoint someone whose opinion I greatly respect. I realize that in my life I can't make everyone happy but I just feel that this dilemma I am constantly in, that really shouldn't even be here, is something I couldn't even control from occurring.
Sometimes I think about honestly giving up. Like just letting it all go and just go to class and come home and do homework. But theatre is my life and my passion and I refuse to give that up. I have worked hard to be where I am today and I don't feel like I should constantly have to defend myself for my work and other people's decisions.
..................i dunno...its just.........getting......old
"I'm beginning to block out the bad things people who dont matter say about me or not take it personally."
I do still take it personally. I dont want to and I try not to but I still do.
I'm sick of it. Summer is going to be good for me to just get away from the department. I'm tired of picking up the slack but not being respected or defended when things come up. I know I may sound like a bitch right now but this is a way of me venting. I'm really really really really tired from the whole situation. No matter what I do I don't feel like I'm defended for my decisions or the work I do. Its hard to constantly be battling this, knowing that some people can do nothing and get away with it. I feel Like I'm being a really horrible person but its just needs to come out of my body from my fingers and onto this page. Its getting old...its getting really old. I've been tempted to give up.
I know I shouldn't take this stuff personally or anything and the only person I need to please is myself but I feel that no matter what decision I make I'm going to disappoint someone whose opinion I greatly respect. I realize that in my life I can't make everyone happy but I just feel that this dilemma I am constantly in, that really shouldn't even be here, is something I couldn't even control from occurring.
Sometimes I think about honestly giving up. Like just letting it all go and just go to class and come home and do homework. But theatre is my life and my passion and I refuse to give that up. I have worked hard to be where I am today and I don't feel like I should constantly have to defend myself for my work and other people's decisions.
..................i dunno...its just.........getting......old