fibromyalgia flareups.
It has been a long and difficult week with some highs and lows in it. The highs? I have put the wheels in motion to put to print a Calgary Wheat Free Family Newsletter. The first printing is set to be completed by May 15th and out for distribution by the 21st. The premier issue will have a feature write up on Renae, owner of Sugar and Spice Bakings. She and I met for a morning last week and I was amazed by how great a woman she is, not to mention how AMAZING her wheat free banana bread is! I am nervous about this venture but eager to move ahead on it.
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The low of the week has been the very present challenge of the fibromyalgia. It hit it's crescendo last night at approximately 1:30 am. Fibromyalgia, for me, hits it's peak in a mental fashion, pushing me to the edge of my enduring hope and patience. The daily self talks, peptalks and adjustments to maintain balanced perspectives, weakens under the strain of time and fatique. The wee hours of the morning find me wandering all the steriotypical thoughts and concerns of one who deals with chronic pain. "What have I done to deserve this?", " This will never go away...", and "no one can do anything ... I am alone.".
The danger of these thoughts is that, in addition to their retoricalness, there is also a ratio of truth behind each one. Enough fact that the mind takes the declorations as indesputable and oppressing. Battling the mind and the 'inevitability of defeat' requires dipping into reserves of energy and strength that are, by this point, already tapped out. A world ( and family ) sleeping contentedly while I struggle with these feelings of physical persecution and issolation adds to the feeling of being Alone and to the dispair that settles like a dark blanket of midnight clouds.
Education, humbling of Pride, and willingness to experiment will be the tools that enable me to piece together a series of weapons to help manage fibromyalgia. A new tool I found last night was http://www.fibromyalgia-symptoms.org . A good starting place on understanding what some of the options may be and a Big Picture of what is being dealt with.
I am not weak for taking medication. I am not weak for taking naps. I am not weak for finding unorthodox methods of handling the physical pain that is unexplainable in cause. Sighs. Submitting of Inflated Pride, Moving forward.
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The low of the week has been the very present challenge of the fibromyalgia. It hit it's crescendo last night at approximately 1:30 am. Fibromyalgia, for me, hits it's peak in a mental fashion, pushing me to the edge of my enduring hope and patience. The daily self talks, peptalks and adjustments to maintain balanced perspectives, weakens under the strain of time and fatique. The wee hours of the morning find me wandering all the steriotypical thoughts and concerns of one who deals with chronic pain. "What have I done to deserve this?", " This will never go away...", and "no one can do anything ... I am alone.".
The danger of these thoughts is that, in addition to their retoricalness, there is also a ratio of truth behind each one. Enough fact that the mind takes the declorations as indesputable and oppressing. Battling the mind and the 'inevitability of defeat' requires dipping into reserves of energy and strength that are, by this point, already tapped out. A world ( and family ) sleeping contentedly while I struggle with these feelings of physical persecution and issolation adds to the feeling of being Alone and to the dispair that settles like a dark blanket of midnight clouds.
Education, humbling of Pride, and willingness to experiment will be the tools that enable me to piece together a series of weapons to help manage fibromyalgia. A new tool I found last night was http://www.fibromyalgia-symptoms.org . A good starting place on understanding what some of the options may be and a Big Picture of what is being dealt with.
I am not weak for taking medication. I am not weak for taking naps. I am not weak for finding unorthodox methods of handling the physical pain that is unexplainable in cause. Sighs. Submitting of Inflated Pride, Moving forward.