soul searching

[gift_of_pandora]

Or some other nonsense. Seeing as how I am alone at the apartment and my computer works and I'm procrastinating from daily life around me, I did something risky. Kind of. Ever since January came around I started to protect myself and my sanity. I blocked some stuff out of my life that I didn't think I could totally deal with. I tried to distance myself totally and completely from the situation. Up until yesterday. And today. But I just skimmed back into most of all those lives I erased away. And you know what? It wasn't all that bad. People have done some re-evaluating with their lives, and maybe even grown up? At least put more stock into what is truly important and what they need to do to be happy in life and with themselves. And that's a place that wouldn't have been attained before.
I always complain that I hate being "the one before "the one"". But now I realize you can't be evenone's "one". You are "the one" for one person alone, and there is no way to just sit around, wait, evolve, and tweak yourself until you become "the one" for someone else. I obviously wasn't "the one" for any of my exes and it's for the best that those relationships ended so that we each could find our "ones".
And you know what else? I'm happy. I'm happy with who I am, where I am, who I'm with, and the direction my life is going. And I couldn't honestly say that before with anyone else. I'd either be the follower or the leader, not a partner. And I'm glad that life has happened to us all, and that we've grown and matured, and that things are finally falling into place.
And that should be enough for now...