(no subject)
Dear LJ, (lol)
It is terrific, and by it I am referring to life. The sky was so blue today, and the pool was just right. Chris gave me my space, and only God and myself know how much I needed that. I missed the river trip, but I really am glad I got to just stay home. It was nice to just do my own thing, count my hundreds of dollars (I love my job!), AND talk about the future in Tucson. I am really nervous for some reason, like I am going to get homesick or have a bad time. I get in these moods like no matter how good things are, they aren't good.
Silly me. Everyone is so sad high school is over, or either unaware that it is going to hit them. But me, I know it's over...and I'm glad its over. I am excited to embrace a new chapter of my life, to challenge myself, and to grow more independent.
I find myself separating from cliques, and wanting to expand my list of peeople I know. I really want to practice the whole make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold tune/saying..Whatever it is. I cherish every single good or bad moment I had with these people, because it was time that I surrounded myself with those that I love.
More deeply, I think I am most afraid of leaving my house, my home. The one place I can call my sanctuary. My room, my privacy, my Amanda time. Just to lay low, chill, and keep to myself. I am going to miss my mother, just talking and telling her every detail of my life. I know I will probably talk to her and daddy every day. She wants to get a Myspace, and honestly- I don't mind it one bit. I just wish that we were closer than two hours. I know ONLY two hours, while others like Trey or Nikki are going to Princeton. But I am not independent enough to do that. I am not strong enough.
Family is my rock. They really are. They are everything to me. And I know I am everything to them. I just hope that change is only minimal....
It is terrific, and by it I am referring to life. The sky was so blue today, and the pool was just right. Chris gave me my space, and only God and myself know how much I needed that. I missed the river trip, but I really am glad I got to just stay home. It was nice to just do my own thing, count my hundreds of dollars (I love my job!), AND talk about the future in Tucson. I am really nervous for some reason, like I am going to get homesick or have a bad time. I get in these moods like no matter how good things are, they aren't good.
Silly me. Everyone is so sad high school is over, or either unaware that it is going to hit them. But me, I know it's over...and I'm glad its over. I am excited to embrace a new chapter of my life, to challenge myself, and to grow more independent.
I find myself separating from cliques, and wanting to expand my list of peeople I know. I really want to practice the whole make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold tune/saying..Whatever it is. I cherish every single good or bad moment I had with these people, because it was time that I surrounded myself with those that I love.
More deeply, I think I am most afraid of leaving my house, my home. The one place I can call my sanctuary. My room, my privacy, my Amanda time. Just to lay low, chill, and keep to myself. I am going to miss my mother, just talking and telling her every detail of my life. I know I will probably talk to her and daddy every day. She wants to get a Myspace, and honestly- I don't mind it one bit. I just wish that we were closer than two hours. I know ONLY two hours, while others like Trey or Nikki are going to Princeton. But I am not independent enough to do that. I am not strong enough.
Family is my rock. They really are. They are everything to me. And I know I am everything to them. I just hope that change is only minimal....