Fic: I Remember You - Chapter 6
Title: I Remember You
Author: gidgetgal9
Summary: Sam wakes up in a hospital with no memory. Will he learn the truth about what happened to him in time to save himself? S3 Not a death fiction!
Disclaimer & Rating: Please see Chapter 1
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5
I Remember You
A/N: In a dream sequence, I use bold type to show what the dreamer is viewing- hopefully that does not confuse anyone!
Warning: There is a pretty brutal scene in this chapter that includes violence and cursing. As you read it, I want you to keep in mind that Sam's mind has been tampered with by the demons. His dream about the accident was distorted and I'm caring on a theme here.
Chapter 6
Dean had driven in silence, glad to keep his music off so that his little brother could get some much needed rest. As he drove he tried to come up with a workable plan for how to best take care of Sam.
After an hour of playing with what to do, he decided that going to Bobby’s place was probably the best option. Bobby could help him watch out for the kid and maybe find a reversal spell to help Sam.
Plus, his Sam felt comfortable at Bobby’s and he hoped that amnesia Sam would too.
Now he would just have to convince his brother that going to Bobby’s house was the best option. Dean sighed; life had become way too complicated this year.
Dean had driven until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore, especially without his beloved music, so he started looking for the best place to stop. He decided on a Super 8, so that they would be guaranteed at least a comfortable room. Sam needed that.
Sam remained asleep when Dean stopped the car, and Dean didn’t want to leave the kid alone so he decided to wake him. Keeping his voice as quiet as he could he lightly shook Sam.
“Hey Sammy, wake up for me kiddo.”
Sam immediately flinched away from Dean’s touch. In fact the kid plastered himself to the passenger door until he woke up a bit more. He then gave Dean a weak smile.
“Sorry Dean.” Came out in a quiet voice.
It hurt Dean a lot to have his brother so uneasy with him, but he knew it wasn’t the kids fault. He swallowed his hurt and forced a smile on his face.
“No problem kiddo, you’ve been through a lot. I thought we would get a room here at the Super 8. Do you want to go in with me or would you rather wait in the car?” Dean tried to keep his tone light.
“Uh, I’ll wait here and wake up some more.” Sam replied as he started to stretch.
“Sure, be back in a minute.” Dean reluctantly left his brother in the car. After the latest demon scare, it was hard to leave his brother alone.
-0-
Sam watched the man that was his unremembered brother walk to the motel office. He hated the uneasy vibe that was lying heavy between them.
He knew that his behavior was hurting Dean, but it was something he couldn’t control. He had witnessed Dean wild and out of control so it was hard to not be afraid of the man. His poor phone was a testament to how violent his older sibling could be.
Sam was so lost in his thoughts that he jumped when Dean re-entered the car. Dean gave him a reassuring smile and started the car.
They drove to the far side of the motel and Dean got out. Sam slowly followed.
“So Dean, which room is mine?” Sam asked as he reached into the back seat pulling out his bag. When he looked back up he noticed a sheepish look on Dean’s face.
“Uh Sammy, we always room together with separate beds, so I got one room. I can go back and get you a separate room if you’d like?” Dean was now avoiding eye contact.
Sam wanted to tell Dean that yes, he needed his own room. But he realized that he needed to suck up his fears and get to know his brother.
“Nah, it’s fine Dean. After the demon thing, it will be nice to have company.” Sam gave Dean a smile as his brother raised his head with a smile of his own.
“Yeah, we probably should stick together with the threat of demons out there.” Dean opened the trunk and grabbed his own bag and then paused. “Hey Sammy, your bag is in here, wouldn’t you rather have it than the one the demon packed for you?”
“Uh sure Dean, why don’t I take both in. To be honest, I’m not sure what’s in either bag.” Sam sighed and took the other bag from Dean. In Sam’s mind, clothes were clothes but if it was important to Dean for him to have his stuff then he’d do that.
Sam followed Dean into the room and watched as Dean claimed the bed next to the door. It was such an automatic thing and Sam figured it must be habit.
“So you like the bed by the door?” Sam asked in passing as he settled on the other bed.
“Well, yeah. I don’t always take that bed, but when we were younger I always did to protect you. If anyone broke in they had to get through me to get to you.”
Sam could tell by Dean’s expression that he was lost in past memories. For a moment, Sam was jealous that Dean had memories of their past and he didn’t but then he realized the oddity of his brother’s comment.
“So, we stayed at motels a lot as kids? Did Dad have to travel as part of his job?” Sam watched his brother tense up at the mention of their dad.
“Yeah, he did Sammy. Our lives have always been complicated, and I promise to share details, but I’m bushed right now.” Dean threw himself down on the bed and Sam figured it was for dramatic effect.
“You called me Sammy. Do people call me that?” Sam couldn’t imagine liking that nickname as an adult.
“I’m the only one allowed to call you that, and that’s because I have since we were kids. Kind of a grandfather clause thing.” Dean said with a smile.
“Good, cause I don’t think I'd like everyone calling me that. It’s too childish for me.” Sam shrugged and stood up. “Dean, I know you said you were beat, but I’m kind of hungry. Want me to run and get some food?” Sam watched his brother frown at him.
“I could eat Sammy, but why don’t we just order in? I just got you back after you going missing for a week and I’m not keen on letting you out of my sight. Not with the demons out there looking for you.” Dean sat up from his spot on the bed and grabbed a phone book off the night stand next to the bed.
Sam plopped back down frustrated. He was starting to feel smothered by Dean. Well, more than that, part of him felt like a prisoner or at the very least not trusted.
Dean looked up from the phone book. “So what do you feel like Sam?”
“Whatever. Don’t care.” Sam’s tone was flat and he knew that he was pouting but couldn’t help it.
Dean chuckled from the other bed.
Sam glared. “What?”
Dean smiled brightly at him. “It’s just that even if you can’t remember who you are, you sure remember how to use your patented bitch face on me. Dude, if you really wanted to go out all you had to do was say something. I noticed a diner as we pulled in about a block away. We could walk there, getting some air could do us both some good.”
Sam couldn’t help but to smile back. “Yeah some fresh air sounds good. “
-0-
Dean was happy when they returned from the dinner. Sam definitely seemed more at ease and had even eaten a sandwich and salad.
The walk back to the motel had been in silence and Dean could tell that Sam was still feeling the effects of the drugs the demons had given him. Sam’s movements were sluggish and he was a bit pale.
Once they were back in the motel room, Dean broke the silence.
“Hey dude, you wanna shower before we head to bed?” Dean plopped down on his bed and started removing his boots.
“Nah, I’m really starting to feel tired again.” Sam started unzipping his duffel.
“Yeah, I’m with you. A shower can wait until tomorrow.” Dean stood and unzipped his jeans and was in the middle of pulling them off when he caught Sam’s shocked appearance. Damn, so much for sleeping in his boxers and a t-shirt.
Sam quickly looked away and back at his duffel in embarrassment.
“Sam, I’m sorry dude. I keep forgetting that I’m a stranger to you. I just usually sleep in my boxers and a t-shirt. Now you, always put on PJ bottoms and a t-shirt unless it’s really hot out. But I do own PJ bottoms, so I’ll just grab them.” Dean could see the relief in his geeky brother’s face.
“Thanks Dean, I’m sorry that…”
“Dude, it’s cool. We’ll get this all figured out.” Dean dug out his lone pair of PJ pants and quickly put them on.
“Do you mind if I take the bathroom first to get ready for bed?” The question was so unusual for his Sam. His Sam would have hot tailed it into the bathroom first if he wanted too. Dean never thought he would miss his punk little brother’s quirks so much.
“Sure Sam, take your time.” Dean replied and tried to give a reassuring smile to his once again ill at ease little brother.
Sam smiled weakly and grabbed his duffel before heading into the bathroom.
It hadn’t taken them long to get ready for bed and even less time to fall asleep. Dean had waited until he could hear deep breathing coming from the other bed though, before he let himself succumb to slumber.
-0-
Sam was once again a spectator in his head. It was a vivid dream, just like the others that he had had recently of Jess and his family. He watched a teen version of himself sitting in a chair. A younger but adult Dean and his father were in the room with him. There was yelling. His younger self was cowering under the thunderous assault of his elders. It took Sam a moment to understand what was being said.
John was holding court, with Dean next to him. “Sam, what you did today was inexcusable. Because of lack of focus, your brother was almost killed. How many times do I have to tell you that when we're on a hunt, there is only the hunt and nothing else. You must single mindedly focus on only the hunt. You know that you need to be punished and I feel that since Dean was the one who almost died today, he should have the honors of inflicting that punishment. Do you understand?”
The anger in his father’s face took Sam’s breath away and he could see that his younger self was terrified.
“Yes Sir.” His younger self replied for the first time making eye contact.
John nodded. “Fine, I’ll be back later.” He grabbed his jacket and quickly left the room slamming the door behind him.
Sam focused on this younger dream version of his brother, and it made his stomach turn. The same hatred that Sam had seen in his brother’s face when facing off against the demon was there. Staring his younger self down.
“So s-sorry Dean.” It was a small and timid voice coming from young Sam.
“Don’t speak to me. Don’t look at me. Just get up and walk over to the table.” Dean’s voice was low and deadly.
The younger Sam swallowed hard and slowly walked to the small dining table in the motel room.
“I want you to take your belt off and give it to me.” Dean had moved himself directly behind young Sam.
Sam watched as the young boy's trembling hands worked on his belt until it was off and then turned slightly offering it to Dean. Dean jerked it from the boy's hand.
“Now, take off your jeans and boxers and then I want you to bend over using the table to brace yourself. I will let you know when I’m about to start. You are getting ten licks and if you cry out during your punishment I will double the number. No talking, do you understand?” Dean had leaned over and was growling his words into his sibling's right ear. The young boy nodded.
Sam desperately wanted to wake, but couldn’t and was doomed to watch his younger self punished by a brother that now terrified him.
“I hope you learn your lesson tonight Sam. You’re such a freaking failure, a disgrace to this family. I can’t believe mom died saving your sorry ass. I wish the demon had killed you instead of her. You're weak and some day you'll get one of us killed. I just hope it’s you. God I hate you!”
Sam was horrified by the rancid hate filled words that poured out of his brother’s mouth. He watched as his younger self stood shaking in place as silent tears fell.
“It’s coming Sam- and expect it hard. You little piece of shit!” The elder Winchester raised the belt and the strike made the younger male arch forward, but he still managed to hold his ground.
The sound of the belt made Sam flinch and the angry red mark made him sick.
-0-
Dean had been dead to the world, but even exhausted his big brother radar was still on. He awoke to the sounds of his younger brother moaning in his sleep. Dean wiped the sleep from his eyes and slowly sat up in bed.
He wanted to get a feeling for how bad a dream his brother was having- hoping that the younger man would settle back down on his own.
As he listened and watched, Sam started to toss and turn and the moaning got worse.
The word “no” became his little brother’s mantra. Dean was reminded of the horrible dreams that a grief stricken Sam had suffered when Jess died. He then remembered that Sammy had mentioned that he had dreamed the death of their Dad and himself. Damn demons, and warped planted memories.
Dean approached the bed, and gently started to try to wake his sibling. In his brother’s new state of mind, he was afraid of spooking him.
“C’mon on kiddo, wake up for me.” Dean said in a soothing voice as he gently shook his brother.
Dean’s actions were rewarded when Sam’s eyes opened. The boy’s eyes made contact with him and filled with pure terror. Sam immediately began clawing his way out of Dean’s grip. In his rush to get away, his long legged sibling fell head first on the floor.
The fall didn’t stop Sam’s scramble to get away. He crawled away and moved forward towards the motel door in a bid for escape. Dean was afraid of Sam running blindly into the night and put himself in front of Sam and the door.
Defeat was apparent on Sam’s face and instead of making a break for it, his brother crawled into the furthest corner. The boy then tried to disappear into a small ball, rocking back and forth.
Dean had to strain to hear his brother, but he made out , “Don’t hurt me” as Sam started to sob.
It broke his heart, to witness his brother so broken. He was sure that the damn demons had planted a horrible untrue or distorted vision of their life together. The question now was, how was he going to reach his brother with the truth?
Chapter 7 Here