Gids is headed this way with an undoubtedly unpopular opinion

[giddy_london]

Thank you, MCR. This is actually the nudge I’ve been waiting for, and I think it’s safe to say that I will be leaving bandom behind. I want to make it clear that I’m not overreacting to the news about Bob, but that this announcement (as well as the fans’ reactions to it) has made it easier for me to decide to cease my involvement in this fandom. In

Comments

[momebie]

I haven't been paying attention to bandom for almost a year now. I've always been fandom ADD, so it wasn't a surprise when I just wandered off one day. Because of that, this isn't exactly a nail in a coffin, but I feel less of a reason to go back. I'll have one fic to post after I finish my Help Haiti offering, and then I'll probably be done with it. Which doesn't affect anyone but me, I'm sure.

Like you said, I've got too much going on in my real life to really worry about it. And while I wish the band and Bob the best, and am, yes, a little sad about it, it's not really a Thing. Life goes on.

[giddy_london]

I think feeling "less of a reason to go back" is kind of the perfect way to put it. I've been pretty cranky about bandom in general and MCR in particular since last fall, and even a hiatus didn't do much good, so focusing more on RL stuff seems to be what's best for me. The thing that sucks about stepping back from fannish involvement is the not interacting with people as much thing. I feel like I made good, lasting friendships with some people in previous fandoms, and I don't feel bandom will be the same way, unfortunately.

[momebie]

I think a part of that might have to do with the source material, really. I love quite a few of the people I met in bandom, and I hope I don't lose them any time soon. The ones I really like I have other things in common with. Even if they're real life things. Especially if they're real life things. But as you said, the majority of the people I met there I didn't really bond with.

When you're dealing with fandoms set in stories (movies, books, what have you), you tend to bond by themes, you know? There is something there that spoke to you that will move you and others, and in seeing that you can learn a lot about the others. You feel like you're in on something greater. But bandom, at least on the surface, was so much about following a certain sense of celebrity and pretty boys doing each other, that there aren't many long lasting themes.

For those who bonded over the music itself though, any music, I think those bonds will last longer.

[giddy_london]

Interestingly, three of the four fandoms I've been involved with in the five years I've been on LJ have been RPF fandoms. (The exception, of course, being Harry Potter). I haven't given much thought to how one might become friends with someone based on the fandom itself, but you bring up an interesting point. On the other hand, my first LJ fandom was LOTR RPS, which was more or less "a certain sense of celebrity and pretty boys doing each other," and yet I feel the friends I made in that fandom are the people I was and am still closest to, even if we haven't had a fandom in common since.

[momebie]

Interesting. Maybe it's more of a time of life thing. I can only make observations based on myself though, of course. I often feel very old compared to the other people in bandom.

[giddy_london]

I was going to put that forth as a possibility, but I know how touchy people can be about age wrt fandom! I think you might be onto something there, though. I think, for me anyway, it is partly a time of life thing, an age thing. I have so much to do and so much to get on with at this point in my life that fandom is just going to have to take a backseat.

[momebie]

That's something I think about more than I should, really. I'm 27. I have a real job, I'm trying to go to grad school, which I'll have to do AROUND the real job. I'm spending time with my friends and taking ill advised trips and learning to play guitar. I have writing to get done, if I want to seriously be published in my life time. And yet...I just really love being a fan. I enjoy squee and discussions and conventions. It's not something I want to grow out of. But some involvement SOMEWHERE has got to go. I've been shedding responsibilities lately. Letting go of things in the interest of getting my own work done. I'm trying to figure out how to shed fandom without losing the people I love here. I mean, I'll still keep my LJ, and post all of my ridiculous thoughts in it, and I will still flail about things, but will I still be interesting enough for them? It's something I won't really know until it happens.

The future freaks me out that way. ;)

[giddy_london]

You definitely do have a lot going on! (I'm crap at commenting, but I do read everyone's posts so I know what's going on with them. Further evidence that I'm more invested in the fans/my friends than the fandom?) I think finding a balance between RL stuff and fandom stuff can be difficult, especially when you're having a really great time in a particular fandom, but letting the RL stuff suffer when the fandom stuff isn't as much fun? Sucky. :( I've been there with previous fandoms, and I guess maybe that's a little of what this is about, too. I feel I shouldn't be so worried about something that doesn't make me as happy as it used to, especially when RL is about to get pretty exciting in the next few months. And I don't think you have any reason to worry about whether you're interesting enough or not - I think you have lots of interesting things to say about non-fannish things. :D