Silly Crack!fic Thing
Title: A Tale of Two Titties: Or Why Elijah and Billy Were Not at the King Kong Premiere
Author: the1elf
Pairing: Lorraine's Breasts and Billy/Elijah
A/N: A wee crack-y dialogue ficlet of 165-ish words. Inspired by
the1elf: Also, Lorraine has some quite fantastic cleavage…
precious_rosie: You could get lost in that cleavage! I wonder if that’s where Billy and Elijah are hiding??!
the1elf: I think you may have solved the mystery of where Billy and Elijah are… *volunteers to check*
“Billy? Bill?”
“Aye. I’m here, Lij.”
“Um, Billy? Where’s here?”
“Well, Elijah, it appears we’ve… somehow gotten lost in Lorraine’s cleavage.”
“What?”
“Mmmm. ‘S the only thing I can think of, Lij.”
“But… Billy, how the fuck would that even happen, man? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Well… I don’t really know, Elijah. But you saw her. Jesus, I know I did, and I don’t even like women.”
“Yeah, me neither. But you know, lucky for Andy I guess.”
“Well, if he’s a breast man, then yes. I’m more an arse bloke myself.”
“Hey, Billy?”
“Yes, Elijah?”
“What do you think of my arse?”
“Elijah, don’t say arse, it sounds stupid when you say it.”
“Fine. What do you think of my ass?”
“I think it’s a damn sight better than Lorraine’s breasts.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Of course.”
“Hey, Bill?”
“What, Lij?”
“Does her dress make me look fat?”
“Lijah?”
“What?”
“Get your arse over here. Might as well have some fun while we’re stuck.”
Jesus Christ, I'm absolutely insane. *hides*
Author: the1elf
Pairing: Lorraine's Breasts and Billy/Elijah
A/N: A wee crack-y dialogue ficlet of 165-ish words. Inspired by
the1elf: Also, Lorraine has some quite fantastic cleavage…
precious_rosie: You could get lost in that cleavage! I wonder if that’s where Billy and Elijah are hiding??!
the1elf: I think you may have solved the mystery of where Billy and Elijah are… *volunteers to check*
“Billy? Bill?”
“Aye. I’m here, Lij.”
“Um, Billy? Where’s here?”
“Well, Elijah, it appears we’ve… somehow gotten lost in Lorraine’s cleavage.”
“What?”
“Mmmm. ‘S the only thing I can think of, Lij.”
“But… Billy, how the fuck would that even happen, man? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Well… I don’t really know, Elijah. But you saw her. Jesus, I know I did, and I don’t even like women.”
“Yeah, me neither. But you know, lucky for Andy I guess.”
“Well, if he’s a breast man, then yes. I’m more an arse bloke myself.”
“Hey, Billy?”
“Yes, Elijah?”
“What do you think of my arse?”
“Elijah, don’t say arse, it sounds stupid when you say it.”
“Fine. What do you think of my ass?”
“I think it’s a damn sight better than Lorraine’s breasts.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Of course.”
“Hey, Bill?”
“What, Lij?”
“Does her dress make me look fat?”
“Lijah?”
“What?”
“Get your arse over here. Might as well have some fun while we’re stuck.”
Jesus Christ, I'm absolutely insane. *hides*