Hmmm.....
I haven't died, I promise, just couldn't find the time to steal my mom's computer and update my journal. :):) Oh... and just for kicks, I did one of the name acronym creator thingis.... Not sure *all* of the words are exactly what we'd say suiting, but it's fun just the same!:)
CComicalAAmorousSSensualSSophisticatedAAstoundingNNuttyDDramaticRRefreshingAAdventurous
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
So it's Friday night, and I'm sitting here, at home, and I really don't want to be anywhere else.:):) I think I need a bit of relaxing after a weird day lol. And weird it was. Not weird to the extreme, but weird in a not immediately noticable (sp??), but definitely lurking there, weird. Hehe, sorry I enjoy making no sense.;):) Anyway, as much as I don't want to admit to the thoughts that are *possibly* running through my head, (I said *possibly* mind you, not definitely.;)), umm... here goes. Not without a recap though. I feel like I need to reflect on what's gone on... Do you ever feel like you have to catch up with yourself sometimes? Well, don't mind me while I do so now...
About three weeks ago, I broke up with Andy -yes for good, I sense the eye rolling- because I was finally able to see that things weren't right. I'm not stupid, I knew it wasn't perfect already, and I mean, come on, what is at this age... but I saw that things really weren't right. I went over to his house one day after school, and we had a little arguement after an event that really opened up my eyes. I had a little talk with him not long after that and ended it. I didn't feel extremely bad... not at first. I was happy because I stuck up for myself, and I was happy because I finally realized what I wanted. It wasn't like a huge epiphany or anything, but I felt more at ease. I only started feeling like a bitch when he kept calling me telling me he was depressed and that he'd say anything to convince me that we should try yet again and wouldn't listen to me when I told him it wasn't worth being upset over, that I didn't want him to be hurt in the least bit. Besides, that's what he was... Nearly all talk. At least I think so. He could say anything, but whether or not he meant it, I still don't know, and I don't have to think about it now. Still, I started to feel like the biggest jerk in the entire world. The odd part is, the same day I broke up with him, he asked one of his friends (Liz) out, and continued calling me while he was with her. So on top of everything else, I had to keep telling him we shouldn't be having these kinds of conversations, it wasn't at all fair to Liz... Makes me wonder how loyal he really is too... (I know that's a bit cynical, but I can't help thinking it) This week he stopped calling, and I'm really relieved. He's still with her, so I'm hoping he's moved on and is okay with everything. I only feel slightly assinine now. And happy... content. :):)
Which brings me to today... I'm back on track... back to being happy, care-free Cass.:):) But, today... Today was a friend of mine's last day at school before he leaves for New Jersey, and for some reason I couldn't help but feel awkward!! I know it's silly, and I don't know why, but I couldn't even hug him before he left! It wasn't that I didn't want to either, but all of a sudden, I felt weird initiating any kind of contact... He's too shy to himself, and I don't know why I relapsed into shy mode all of a sudden either... I mean, it's Enrique!! So now he's gone, and I can't help but feel disappointed. I even kind of wish I could go back and "re-do" today... Then again he'll already be on his way to the airport in Newark, so I'm not going to think about it anymore, it's silly anyhow!
Well I think I'm good now... reflecting helped.:):) I hope everyone's having a great, fun filled evening!! Teddy I hope I get to see you soon, too!!:):) I missed you at lunch last week by the way!!
Cass
CComicalAAmorousSSensualSSophisticatedAAstoundingNNuttyDDramaticRRefreshingAAdventurous
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
So it's Friday night, and I'm sitting here, at home, and I really don't want to be anywhere else.:):) I think I need a bit of relaxing after a weird day lol. And weird it was. Not weird to the extreme, but weird in a not immediately noticable (sp??), but definitely lurking there, weird. Hehe, sorry I enjoy making no sense.;):) Anyway, as much as I don't want to admit to the thoughts that are *possibly* running through my head, (I said *possibly* mind you, not definitely.;)), umm... here goes. Not without a recap though. I feel like I need to reflect on what's gone on... Do you ever feel like you have to catch up with yourself sometimes? Well, don't mind me while I do so now...
About three weeks ago, I broke up with Andy -yes for good, I sense the eye rolling- because I was finally able to see that things weren't right. I'm not stupid, I knew it wasn't perfect already, and I mean, come on, what is at this age... but I saw that things really weren't right. I went over to his house one day after school, and we had a little arguement after an event that really opened up my eyes. I had a little talk with him not long after that and ended it. I didn't feel extremely bad... not at first. I was happy because I stuck up for myself, and I was happy because I finally realized what I wanted. It wasn't like a huge epiphany or anything, but I felt more at ease. I only started feeling like a bitch when he kept calling me telling me he was depressed and that he'd say anything to convince me that we should try yet again and wouldn't listen to me when I told him it wasn't worth being upset over, that I didn't want him to be hurt in the least bit. Besides, that's what he was... Nearly all talk. At least I think so. He could say anything, but whether or not he meant it, I still don't know, and I don't have to think about it now. Still, I started to feel like the biggest jerk in the entire world. The odd part is, the same day I broke up with him, he asked one of his friends (Liz) out, and continued calling me while he was with her. So on top of everything else, I had to keep telling him we shouldn't be having these kinds of conversations, it wasn't at all fair to Liz... Makes me wonder how loyal he really is too... (I know that's a bit cynical, but I can't help thinking it) This week he stopped calling, and I'm really relieved. He's still with her, so I'm hoping he's moved on and is okay with everything. I only feel slightly assinine now. And happy... content. :):)
Which brings me to today... I'm back on track... back to being happy, care-free Cass.:):) But, today... Today was a friend of mine's last day at school before he leaves for New Jersey, and for some reason I couldn't help but feel awkward!! I know it's silly, and I don't know why, but I couldn't even hug him before he left! It wasn't that I didn't want to either, but all of a sudden, I felt weird initiating any kind of contact... He's too shy to himself, and I don't know why I relapsed into shy mode all of a sudden either... I mean, it's Enrique!! So now he's gone, and I can't help but feel disappointed. I even kind of wish I could go back and "re-do" today... Then again he'll already be on his way to the airport in Newark, so I'm not going to think about it anymore, it's silly anyhow!
Well I think I'm good now... reflecting helped.:):) I hope everyone's having a great, fun filled evening!! Teddy I hope I get to see you soon, too!!:):) I missed you at lunch last week by the way!!
Cass