(no subject)
Through my life, and everything I have done
I have come to this point, sitting in a dark apartment in Seattle, writing this live journal entry
All the "goals" "dreams" "failure"
Words, all these words that describe my life, all these words I was told to use
All these words to describe what my life is, what my emotions are...what I’m thinking
I have found myself, tonight, confronted with the reality of myself.
It's all connected. It's all one.
I have felt like I am doing the best that I can do.
Be you, love everyone, help yourself, and help others...
Go down the unbeaten path, follow your own
Be all you can be, nothing less
Love nature, love your family, and love yourself
Don’t let others fuck with you, stand up for yourself
Be grateful to be alive, respect and honor all that is...
It’s all a contradiction. All of the good comes with bad.
It seems, that no matter how good I try to be to myself and others
Someone is suffering.
Think. Listen. Understand.
When I drive in my car, in someone’s car
Listening to music, smoking,
In that moment, I am happy I feel love, I give love.
I am safe, we are safe, and we are everything we know.
But look beyond
Everything.
The money to pay for the gas
Money that goes into corrupt business
Corrupt business, funds Terries but gives people jobs
Jobs that support a family, or a drug habit.
The money to buy this pack, funding tobacco companies
To make more packs, for more people
A murderer, a child, a mother, a godless man.
To share with others, for themselves, a habit, or the start of a friendship
As I hear music, someone else is praying to know what that even would be like
Someone who has lost could never hear at all. Never will again
Hearing the voices of the world, and seeing
The person, I told I couldn’t hang out
The person I told I couldn’t pick up
The mother, I call, but still worries
As my happiness goes on in the flash of that moment
She is there, feeling lonely and worried
I can't help it; it is just what it is
It is all just what it is.
Everything I do
No matter how good, or bad
Is affecting all that is good, and all that is bad.
We are everything that is.
I can go out of my way, to help one
While, without knowing it, cause pain
Somehow, someway
It seems that no matter how selfless I try to be,
Every drop of change I give to someone and not myself
Every meal I have given up
Every piece of clothing, ride
Step
Emotion
Every drop of everything I have given
With the mindset, of complete unselfishness
Pouring out my truest love to one mans ear
All I wanted, was a few words
A few words to keep me going
To keep me on my own feet
To keep my eyes open for one more day
To keep my mind and my heart steady for a moment
To remind me that I am still here
I just wanted one thing from someone tonight
One thing that doesn’t cost money, time, power, greed...
One thing
And I got a turned back
I looked into eyes, so deeply with all the heart I can give
And I just got a turned back
Something so simple, and so selfless to give
And I got a turned back
As I shut the door
Something in that turn
I don’t know what it did to me
I don’t know if it broke my heart, or made it free
Is understanding more about everything?
A curse or a gift
But I look back
Everything I ever had to give, and wanted
In that moment, on this day
Instead of blowing it off,
Instead of reminding myself
Halting my feelings, telling myself that it is meaningless
I saw it, and felt it
With no interference, with no thought
I let it enter me
For exactly what it was...
I have always been told to love
Love is the only thing that matters
Love for yourself, and love of everyone
What’s the point?
Why
Why should I eat?
To be satisfied and hungry again
Why should I get a job?
Contribute, Be something, Do something,
Why should I go to school?
Contribute MORE, BE MORE, DO MORE
Why pay my bills?
Just be like everyone else, going along, doing what he or she are "supposed" to do
Why should I love?
To feel the movement, of a careless gesture for one person
Rip the heart of another
Why should I be loved?
To feel something so good, so it can just be taken away in some from
All
Over
Again
Why do we confuse ourselves?
It is all so simple
To know
How amazing human kind is
The power of the mind, unexplainable
The beauty of emotion, beyond comprehension
The body, as useless as it is useful
To not give or revive love, but to become it
I am nothing, but I am all there is
When I speak to myself, I am speaking to you,
Because you are me.
And I am you.
I have come to this point, sitting in a dark apartment in Seattle, writing this live journal entry
All the "goals" "dreams" "failure"
Words, all these words that describe my life, all these words I was told to use
All these words to describe what my life is, what my emotions are...what I’m thinking
I have found myself, tonight, confronted with the reality of myself.
It's all connected. It's all one.
I have felt like I am doing the best that I can do.
Be you, love everyone, help yourself, and help others...
Go down the unbeaten path, follow your own
Be all you can be, nothing less
Love nature, love your family, and love yourself
Don’t let others fuck with you, stand up for yourself
Be grateful to be alive, respect and honor all that is...
It’s all a contradiction. All of the good comes with bad.
It seems, that no matter how good I try to be to myself and others
Someone is suffering.
Think. Listen. Understand.
When I drive in my car, in someone’s car
Listening to music, smoking,
In that moment, I am happy I feel love, I give love.
I am safe, we are safe, and we are everything we know.
But look beyond
Everything.
The money to pay for the gas
Money that goes into corrupt business
Corrupt business, funds Terries but gives people jobs
Jobs that support a family, or a drug habit.
The money to buy this pack, funding tobacco companies
To make more packs, for more people
A murderer, a child, a mother, a godless man.
To share with others, for themselves, a habit, or the start of a friendship
As I hear music, someone else is praying to know what that even would be like
Someone who has lost could never hear at all. Never will again
Hearing the voices of the world, and seeing
The person, I told I couldn’t hang out
The person I told I couldn’t pick up
The mother, I call, but still worries
As my happiness goes on in the flash of that moment
She is there, feeling lonely and worried
I can't help it; it is just what it is
It is all just what it is.
Everything I do
No matter how good, or bad
Is affecting all that is good, and all that is bad.
We are everything that is.
I can go out of my way, to help one
While, without knowing it, cause pain
Somehow, someway
It seems that no matter how selfless I try to be,
Every drop of change I give to someone and not myself
Every meal I have given up
Every piece of clothing, ride
Step
Emotion
Every drop of everything I have given
With the mindset, of complete unselfishness
Pouring out my truest love to one mans ear
All I wanted, was a few words
A few words to keep me going
To keep me on my own feet
To keep my eyes open for one more day
To keep my mind and my heart steady for a moment
To remind me that I am still here
I just wanted one thing from someone tonight
One thing that doesn’t cost money, time, power, greed...
One thing
And I got a turned back
I looked into eyes, so deeply with all the heart I can give
And I just got a turned back
Something so simple, and so selfless to give
And I got a turned back
As I shut the door
Something in that turn
I don’t know what it did to me
I don’t know if it broke my heart, or made it free
Is understanding more about everything?
A curse or a gift
But I look back
Everything I ever had to give, and wanted
In that moment, on this day
Instead of blowing it off,
Instead of reminding myself
Halting my feelings, telling myself that it is meaningless
I saw it, and felt it
With no interference, with no thought
I let it enter me
For exactly what it was...
I have always been told to love
Love is the only thing that matters
Love for yourself, and love of everyone
What’s the point?
Why
Why should I eat?
To be satisfied and hungry again
Why should I get a job?
Contribute, Be something, Do something,
Why should I go to school?
Contribute MORE, BE MORE, DO MORE
Why pay my bills?
Just be like everyone else, going along, doing what he or she are "supposed" to do
Why should I love?
To feel the movement, of a careless gesture for one person
Rip the heart of another
Why should I be loved?
To feel something so good, so it can just be taken away in some from
All
Over
Again
Why do we confuse ourselves?
It is all so simple
To know
How amazing human kind is
The power of the mind, unexplainable
The beauty of emotion, beyond comprehension
The body, as useless as it is useful
To not give or revive love, but to become it
I am nothing, but I am all there is
When I speak to myself, I am speaking to you,
Because you are me.
And I am you.