September Fan Appreciation Month fic: Beginnings
Title : Beginnings
Length : 1490 Words
Disclaimer : I unfortunately own nothing...but I am playing with them for a bit and shall return them.
Summary : For years he has had the man's back, supported him when he wasn't aware and kept the man's secrets close to his own heart. But tonight he wanted to bring all of that to light and take a chance on what he wanted.
For years, he had watched as the calendar rolled around and the man all but shut down when that day came. He had done his own investigation of the agency and his boss prior to accepting the job offer and he knew what the day meant to the man.
More than anything, he wanted to and was determined to find a way to ease his suffering and lessen the pain that was associated with the anniversary, all the while keeping what he knew to himself.
This year he had been wracking his brain to find a perfect solution. One that would be appreciated for what it was and could possibly open a door they would step through together. The thought scared the hell out of him. This was not what he had expected he’d want all those years ago.
However, he had changed, grown and came to terms with a few things, as people often do, and he was at a place where he needed to take a chance and see if it could be more. He was ready….but was Gibbs?
There were moments throughout his time at NCIS he felt like Gibbs was moving in the same direction that he was and felt the shift in their relationship. But for every time that happened something would cause him to question his instincts.
Frankly, he was tired of waiting and wanted to either move ahead together with Gibbs or accept that it wasn’t going to happen, treasure their friendship and let the dream go. He had no way of knowing if the man was even open to a relationship with another male; hell, he had no idea he was until Gibbs.
It was then he realized that it was about the person and not the gender and he had to thank his Men’s group for that. They had opened his eyes to a great many things he had swept under the rug. In fact, because of them he had a heart to heart talk with his dad and said some things he had always kept inside.
Now it was his turn to step up and take a chance. He wanted to find a way to express that he understood that Gibbs couldn’t and shouldn’t ever be without his girls - that he understood and embraced it.
He sat at his laptop searching for something…anything and the problem was he didn’t have a clue as to what exactly he was looking for, but he did know that when he found it he would know. Page after page of gift ideas, searches and emails to his friends and he still was no closer.
Sitting back on the couch he sipped a beer and thought about what made Gibbs - Gibbs; what would speak to him in a language that the older man would understand. The man was a straight shooter and wasn’t a flowery phrases hidden meaning kind of person. And there it was…an idea.
Nearly throwing his beer down on the table, his fingers flew across the keys, determined and sure in their search. He found what he knew was the perfect expression of everything he wanted to say and wasn’t sure he had the words for. He found that he could order everything he needed online and that there were actually knowledgeable people online to help in with a few choices, which he needed. He was well out of his element but as nervous as he was, he was also excited.
The next few days flew by and his apartment was filled with everything that he had ordered and needed for this…this…what to call it -a grand gesture? Declaration? Or maybe it was both, either way everything had arrived. Now it was all up to him. It was time and as he loaded his car his insecurities and doubts tried to resurface and make him rethink his plan, but he refused to give in. It was time for change, new beginnings and nothing was going to stop him.
He had no doubts that Gibbs would be in his basement with Bourbon and his memories. In the past few days, he could see the shadows behind the blue eyes and he fervently hoped that the man would see his gift for what it was.
Pulling into the driveway, he took a deep breath, grabbed the two smallest bundles and headed for the house.
NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS
Sitting in the silence of the basement Gibbs knew that this wasn’t what he wanted or what the girls would want for him, but letting go…well he couldn’t. He had tried and the pain that had accompanied it had left him breathless. He needed…and wanted a way to move forward with them.
However, right now all he could feel was an overwhelming loss. The anniversary of their deaths was almost unbearable. The reminder that they weren’t here, that he was alone in a house that was no longer a home. The darkness of the basement suited his mood.
Startled, he heard footfalls over his head he reached for his gun wondering whom was brave enough to bother him this night. Recognizing the familiar tread of his SIC, he laid his gun back on the table and waited.
He wasn’t surprised that Tony was here, the man knew him better than anyone else did and that was something he was thankful for every day. Their partnership had changed and evolved over the years as did the one they shared with their team, but the dynamic between the two of them was something he could never quite explain to anyone.
Nevertheless, in the past several years, he had begun to see Tony differently and what to do with that he had no clue. He was trying to come to terms with the changes so that he could deal with them, but as usual Tony was ahead of the game and here…now…and he had no idea why.
He noticed the other man was nervous as he sat down the oddly wrapped packages and finally looked up to meet his gaze.
“Hey Boss.” Tony shuffled awkwardly. “I have something here for you…and …well.” Taking a deep breath, he continued. “I don’t know quite how to say this and have it make sense. But remember when you offered me a job?” Tony shook his head as he chuckled. “Of course you do.”
“I investigated you…and NCIS. But before you go all second ‘B’ on me. It wasn’t to find out hidden secrets or anything. But after Danny and learning that he was dirty I was really leery of a new Boss...partner…agency and I needed to know for sure that it was on the up and up.”
“I found out a few things that I hadn’t intended. And all these years I have tried to do what I could to help you.”
“You knew all these years?” The edge in Gibbs voice was unmistakable.
“Yes. And until you were blown up and it came out, I never said anything. Just tried to keep people away from you when I could and give you the privacy you seemed to need and want.”
“And now?”
“I wanted to do something different.” Tony hoped that he hadn’t just fucked everything up.
“And what exactly did you want to do?” Gibbs eyes narrowed as he looked at Tony.
“A memory wall. I found a project that you could make to honor them…your memories …and not hide them. I bought everything for it. Had some help picking the wood.” Tony took a deep breath as the words rushed out. “AndIwanttohelpyoubuildit.”
As Tony’s words sunk in, he stood and walked over silently to the packages and started to open them. Feeling the wood and looking over the plans, he couldn’t speak…this was perfect…everything about it. There was so much he wanted to say.
Tony not sure what the silence meant started to fidget unsure whether he should continue…get the rest of the supplies…run for the hills….
“You want to help build it?” Gibbs whispered knowing desperately that he wanted to have heard that right.
“Yes.” He managed to speak.
Gibbs looked up at the younger man, his had still on the gift that had touched him deeply and wanted to make sure that he was clear. “This…this is beautiful. I can’t…there are no words. But I have to know.” Taking a deep breath and moving towards the younger man. “Does this mean what I hope it does? That you want to build more than this memory with me?”
Tony only able to nod did so with every fiber of his being.
Gibbs smiled and every doubt that Tony had ever had about this gift…his fears evaporated.
“A new beginning…together.” Gibbs held out his hand. “Gonna take it slow…do it right.” Tony laced his fingers with Gibbs and nothing had ever felt so right.
“Only took us eleven years to get here.” Tony’s smile lit the basement.
“Definitely worth waiting for.”
Length : 1490 Words
Disclaimer : I unfortunately own nothing...but I am playing with them for a bit and shall return them.
Summary : For years he has had the man's back, supported him when he wasn't aware and kept the man's secrets close to his own heart. But tonight he wanted to bring all of that to light and take a chance on what he wanted.
For years, he had watched as the calendar rolled around and the man all but shut down when that day came. He had done his own investigation of the agency and his boss prior to accepting the job offer and he knew what the day meant to the man.
More than anything, he wanted to and was determined to find a way to ease his suffering and lessen the pain that was associated with the anniversary, all the while keeping what he knew to himself.
This year he had been wracking his brain to find a perfect solution. One that would be appreciated for what it was and could possibly open a door they would step through together. The thought scared the hell out of him. This was not what he had expected he’d want all those years ago.
However, he had changed, grown and came to terms with a few things, as people often do, and he was at a place where he needed to take a chance and see if it could be more. He was ready….but was Gibbs?
There were moments throughout his time at NCIS he felt like Gibbs was moving in the same direction that he was and felt the shift in their relationship. But for every time that happened something would cause him to question his instincts.
Frankly, he was tired of waiting and wanted to either move ahead together with Gibbs or accept that it wasn’t going to happen, treasure their friendship and let the dream go. He had no way of knowing if the man was even open to a relationship with another male; hell, he had no idea he was until Gibbs.
It was then he realized that it was about the person and not the gender and he had to thank his Men’s group for that. They had opened his eyes to a great many things he had swept under the rug. In fact, because of them he had a heart to heart talk with his dad and said some things he had always kept inside.
Now it was his turn to step up and take a chance. He wanted to find a way to express that he understood that Gibbs couldn’t and shouldn’t ever be without his girls - that he understood and embraced it.
He sat at his laptop searching for something…anything and the problem was he didn’t have a clue as to what exactly he was looking for, but he did know that when he found it he would know. Page after page of gift ideas, searches and emails to his friends and he still was no closer.
Sitting back on the couch he sipped a beer and thought about what made Gibbs - Gibbs; what would speak to him in a language that the older man would understand. The man was a straight shooter and wasn’t a flowery phrases hidden meaning kind of person. And there it was…an idea.
Nearly throwing his beer down on the table, his fingers flew across the keys, determined and sure in their search. He found what he knew was the perfect expression of everything he wanted to say and wasn’t sure he had the words for. He found that he could order everything he needed online and that there were actually knowledgeable people online to help in with a few choices, which he needed. He was well out of his element but as nervous as he was, he was also excited.
The next few days flew by and his apartment was filled with everything that he had ordered and needed for this…this…what to call it -a grand gesture? Declaration? Or maybe it was both, either way everything had arrived. Now it was all up to him. It was time and as he loaded his car his insecurities and doubts tried to resurface and make him rethink his plan, but he refused to give in. It was time for change, new beginnings and nothing was going to stop him.
He had no doubts that Gibbs would be in his basement with Bourbon and his memories. In the past few days, he could see the shadows behind the blue eyes and he fervently hoped that the man would see his gift for what it was.
Pulling into the driveway, he took a deep breath, grabbed the two smallest bundles and headed for the house.
NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS
Sitting in the silence of the basement Gibbs knew that this wasn’t what he wanted or what the girls would want for him, but letting go…well he couldn’t. He had tried and the pain that had accompanied it had left him breathless. He needed…and wanted a way to move forward with them.
However, right now all he could feel was an overwhelming loss. The anniversary of their deaths was almost unbearable. The reminder that they weren’t here, that he was alone in a house that was no longer a home. The darkness of the basement suited his mood.
Startled, he heard footfalls over his head he reached for his gun wondering whom was brave enough to bother him this night. Recognizing the familiar tread of his SIC, he laid his gun back on the table and waited.
He wasn’t surprised that Tony was here, the man knew him better than anyone else did and that was something he was thankful for every day. Their partnership had changed and evolved over the years as did the one they shared with their team, but the dynamic between the two of them was something he could never quite explain to anyone.
Nevertheless, in the past several years, he had begun to see Tony differently and what to do with that he had no clue. He was trying to come to terms with the changes so that he could deal with them, but as usual Tony was ahead of the game and here…now…and he had no idea why.
He noticed the other man was nervous as he sat down the oddly wrapped packages and finally looked up to meet his gaze.
“Hey Boss.” Tony shuffled awkwardly. “I have something here for you…and …well.” Taking a deep breath, he continued. “I don’t know quite how to say this and have it make sense. But remember when you offered me a job?” Tony shook his head as he chuckled. “Of course you do.”
“I investigated you…and NCIS. But before you go all second ‘B’ on me. It wasn’t to find out hidden secrets or anything. But after Danny and learning that he was dirty I was really leery of a new Boss...partner…agency and I needed to know for sure that it was on the up and up.”
“I found out a few things that I hadn’t intended. And all these years I have tried to do what I could to help you.”
“You knew all these years?” The edge in Gibbs voice was unmistakable.
“Yes. And until you were blown up and it came out, I never said anything. Just tried to keep people away from you when I could and give you the privacy you seemed to need and want.”
“And now?”
“I wanted to do something different.” Tony hoped that he hadn’t just fucked everything up.
“And what exactly did you want to do?” Gibbs eyes narrowed as he looked at Tony.
“A memory wall. I found a project that you could make to honor them…your memories …and not hide them. I bought everything for it. Had some help picking the wood.” Tony took a deep breath as the words rushed out. “AndIwanttohelpyoubuildit.”
As Tony’s words sunk in, he stood and walked over silently to the packages and started to open them. Feeling the wood and looking over the plans, he couldn’t speak…this was perfect…everything about it. There was so much he wanted to say.
Tony not sure what the silence meant started to fidget unsure whether he should continue…get the rest of the supplies…run for the hills….
“You want to help build it?” Gibbs whispered knowing desperately that he wanted to have heard that right.
“Yes.” He managed to speak.
Gibbs looked up at the younger man, his had still on the gift that had touched him deeply and wanted to make sure that he was clear. “This…this is beautiful. I can’t…there are no words. But I have to know.” Taking a deep breath and moving towards the younger man. “Does this mean what I hope it does? That you want to build more than this memory with me?”
Tony only able to nod did so with every fiber of his being.
Gibbs smiled and every doubt that Tony had ever had about this gift…his fears evaporated.
“A new beginning…together.” Gibbs held out his hand. “Gonna take it slow…do it right.” Tony laced his fingers with Gibbs and nothing had ever felt so right.
“Only took us eleven years to get here.” Tony’s smile lit the basement.
“Definitely worth waiting for.”