Comments | giazz_40: Happiness in a Bottle

giazz_40

Happiness in a Bottle

Mar 12, 2009 10:03

*This is my second week entry to Bridgit's Flame the prompt is Happiness in a Bottle, I hope you like it ( Read more... )

play, drinking, brigits flame competition for march week, fiction

Comments 5

cedarwolfsinger March 16 2009, 16:43:36 UTC

This is interesting, though it seems to stop in mid-stream. I would suggest that you set off your stage directions from the dialog -- it was a bit difficult to discern the differences. Interesting that the blue bottle seemed to give Belinda the strength to go home alone and get a ride from Mack. Good luck.

okay, I fixed it (I think) giazz_40 March 16 2009, 21:17:28 UTC

Thanks for reading it, I wasn't sure about the play format, so I fixed it to your tips.

Glad you liked it.

(The comment has been removed)

Re: Editing giazz_40 March 19 2009, 12:50:56 UTC

Sure, I could use some tips. This was my first "script" format, so I wasn't sure of how to go about writing it. I did like it in some ways, but may go back to just writing short stories.

Thanks for the comment and the advice, I certainly appreciate it.

Editing cedarwolfsinger March 26 2009, 00:14:47 UTC

Hello, I am doing a catch up edit for attentionhoard. Please note - I go paragraph by paragraph because that makes sense to me. Also - all my “changes” are merely suggestions. Take from them whatever makes sense to you and disregard whatever does not suit you ( ... )

Re: Editing giazz_40 March 26 2009, 15:26:59 UTC

Thanks for your comments and your editing remarks, I certainly appreciate it. I wasn't sure of the play format, and hopefully I edited it to where it now makes some sense.