wow....
well, since i last made an entry.....things have been so rough.....i just feel so worn out by everything......its all been building up on me and i just cant deal with it all.....i want to just run away from my fears, and feelings.....i cant though, thats the worst part...
little things to most are a big deal to me.....simple words and actions, or lack of, for that matter, can really mess with someones head.....its been from being on the verge of one thing, then the next day, a complete change......i got in a lot of trouble with my parents for drinking.....a week later, they catch me having a party, then to make things worse, i get pulled over and get 2 tickets at the shore...my week couldnt get any worse...im just glad that its starting to close........
in other joe news.......my life is in shambles.....my parents dont trust me, ive been fucking up constantly, i hate my job, i dont even know what to say about my so called "love life"...i still "like" cara, but only to the point of wanting to hook up with her, or hang out with her more.....its sad to say, but after the last couple weeks, ive grown to realize that maybe having a relationship isnt even what i want.....and that having a "friend" that shares an attraction is just so much better...
....the thing about it is, if i ever thought about something like just a hook up with her a month or so ago, i would have grown too attached to the situation and made it weird.....ha..i guess i just come off as someone who says something like that just so it would happen...but in all seriousness, i know i wouldnt act crazy, because i genuinely dont want anything like a relationship in this stage of the game...i dont know really.....i guess i should really talk to her about all this, and im going to...i just dont know how to even bring it up or how shed even react to it......ah well, theres only one way to find out.....
with all of the love i possess
joe
little things to most are a big deal to me.....simple words and actions, or lack of, for that matter, can really mess with someones head.....its been from being on the verge of one thing, then the next day, a complete change......i got in a lot of trouble with my parents for drinking.....a week later, they catch me having a party, then to make things worse, i get pulled over and get 2 tickets at the shore...my week couldnt get any worse...im just glad that its starting to close........
in other joe news.......my life is in shambles.....my parents dont trust me, ive been fucking up constantly, i hate my job, i dont even know what to say about my so called "love life"...i still "like" cara, but only to the point of wanting to hook up with her, or hang out with her more.....its sad to say, but after the last couple weeks, ive grown to realize that maybe having a relationship isnt even what i want.....and that having a "friend" that shares an attraction is just so much better...
....the thing about it is, if i ever thought about something like just a hook up with her a month or so ago, i would have grown too attached to the situation and made it weird.....ha..i guess i just come off as someone who says something like that just so it would happen...but in all seriousness, i know i wouldnt act crazy, because i genuinely dont want anything like a relationship in this stage of the game...i dont know really.....i guess i should really talk to her about all this, and im going to...i just dont know how to even bring it up or how shed even react to it......ah well, theres only one way to find out.....
with all of the love i possess
joe