(no subject)
[mood| 
gloomy]
i just watched West Side Story..it was pretty good, lots for singing and dancing which is always good. Mum wasnt here when i got home which was a big surprise because normally she does nothing for like the first week of her holidays. so i rang her when i got home, at like 5-ish and she said she would be home soon, she actually got home about 10 minutes ago so i havnt had dinner yet...i'm hungry.The OC is on in like 25 minutes huzzah!
I gotta ring dad tomorrow and tell him about going to Cairos on the weekend. He'll be fine about it though, it mum i'm worried about. She's going to make a huge deal about it, and go on about he always gets away with everything, even when its my choice not to go. She keeps asking me why i keep going over and says i can stop any time i like, but then i ask to have one weekend off and its a different story she basically says i have to. I hate the way she talks about dad, it makes me feel really crap, in two ways. One is becuase the way she says it its like " this is supposed to be MY weekend" like she doesnt want me around, but the thing is if her and dad were still together she wouldnt have ANY weekends off. And the other reason it makes me feel crap is because she also says things about dad not giving a shit about me and how he'll be really happy when i'm not going over there anymore and even though its mostly true and i know mums not trying to hurt me when she says it. it's just that i dont imagine anybody would feel very good when someone tells you your dad basically doesnt love you. And she's wrong because even though he's done a lot of really shitty stuff, he does love me. She didnt see him cry when michael and rebecca left. Nobody understands why i still love him. i think its because he's the only person i could see myself in besides Grandma. Mum and Michael and rebecca are so alike sometimes i feel left out, and alone here.
gloomy]
i just watched West Side Story..it was pretty good, lots for singing and dancing which is always good. Mum wasnt here when i got home which was a big surprise because normally she does nothing for like the first week of her holidays. so i rang her when i got home, at like 5-ish and she said she would be home soon, she actually got home about 10 minutes ago so i havnt had dinner yet...i'm hungry.The OC is on in like 25 minutes huzzah!
I gotta ring dad tomorrow and tell him about going to Cairos on the weekend. He'll be fine about it though, it mum i'm worried about. She's going to make a huge deal about it, and go on about he always gets away with everything, even when its my choice not to go. She keeps asking me why i keep going over and says i can stop any time i like, but then i ask to have one weekend off and its a different story she basically says i have to. I hate the way she talks about dad, it makes me feel really crap, in two ways. One is becuase the way she says it its like " this is supposed to be MY weekend" like she doesnt want me around, but the thing is if her and dad were still together she wouldnt have ANY weekends off. And the other reason it makes me feel crap is because she also says things about dad not giving a shit about me and how he'll be really happy when i'm not going over there anymore and even though its mostly true and i know mums not trying to hurt me when she says it. it's just that i dont imagine anybody would feel very good when someone tells you your dad basically doesnt love you. And she's wrong because even though he's done a lot of really shitty stuff, he does love me. She didnt see him cry when michael and rebecca left. Nobody understands why i still love him. i think its because he's the only person i could see myself in besides Grandma. Mum and Michael and rebecca are so alike sometimes i feel left out, and alone here.