Been a while...
The days are all melded together. A long string of dreary with the occasional flash of excitement and paralyzing fear. Ever since that day, I've felt so useless. I mean, more than usual. Those two Akatsuki, they just walked right in like they owned the place. And why wouldn't they? Nothing I could do about it, nothing I should have done, I just... wish there had been.
And that other man, the one who's always late for the lunch menu and who hides his face, what was he doing there? He was there- and then he was gone, the two Akatsuki hot on his heels. I've been trying to reconstruct exactly what happened in my memory, but it happened so fast, so much happened at once I... I get confused.
And then I get angry, at myself and at other things, and suddenly the room feels too small. Like I'm going to burst right out of myself. Shatter the windows, splinter the timbers, let my whole world crash down and smash it beneath me as I rise above it all- growing bigger bigger bigger... But then I stifle my anger and put it away like I always have, because that Large Me is not the Me I want to be. Never has been and never will. I swore that a long time ago.
I feel like there are eyes on me now. Everytime I walk in front of a window, or go outside to the stables or to the woodpile, the hairs on my arms stand up and the back of my neck itches. And if I quickly turn, I can swear I see things in the forest. A glint of silver or steel, there only for an instant. It's probably just my imagination, my worries and anxieties gnawing away at me like always. Still, I think it a good idea that the rebels avoid the Inn for awhile. I will let Lee know. It'll hurt business, granted, but I'm surprised to find that doesn't matter to me in the least when weighed against what could happen if my hunch is right.
Shikamaru... Ino... I hope the two of you are both well. I'll write you letters soon.
And that other man, the one who's always late for the lunch menu and who hides his face, what was he doing there? He was there- and then he was gone, the two Akatsuki hot on his heels. I've been trying to reconstruct exactly what happened in my memory, but it happened so fast, so much happened at once I... I get confused.
And then I get angry, at myself and at other things, and suddenly the room feels too small. Like I'm going to burst right out of myself. Shatter the windows, splinter the timbers, let my whole world crash down and smash it beneath me as I rise above it all- growing bigger bigger bigger... But then I stifle my anger and put it away like I always have, because that Large Me is not the Me I want to be. Never has been and never will. I swore that a long time ago.
I feel like there are eyes on me now. Everytime I walk in front of a window, or go outside to the stables or to the woodpile, the hairs on my arms stand up and the back of my neck itches. And if I quickly turn, I can swear I see things in the forest. A glint of silver or steel, there only for an instant. It's probably just my imagination, my worries and anxieties gnawing away at me like always. Still, I think it a good idea that the rebels avoid the Inn for awhile. I will let Lee know. It'll hurt business, granted, but I'm surprised to find that doesn't matter to me in the least when weighed against what could happen if my hunch is right.
Shikamaru... Ino... I hope the two of you are both well. I'll write you letters soon.