(no subject)
So much shit has happened in the past year i really dont know where i should start.. When i start thinking of what to say I immediately think its too bitchy or annoying and delete it. This in itself I want to delete because its retarded for me to even have to put this, so here goes nothing. This is just the major things that i have experienced or thought of in the past year or so..
wrote most of this a few days ago, ill get around to finishing it eventually
First off, I let warcraft take over my life for a few months. Living with my mom, slightly enjoyable job, and the depression from a breakup made the perfect combination for me to essentially make WoW my second job.. I had fun the whole time which wasnt too terrible but the farther we got, the slower we progressed and it got to the point where I would pass out at the keyboard during a raid, wake up and continue on.. and manage to stay up until 6am most days finishing a raid or doing trivial tasks afterwards. I avoided hanging out with friends because I had a set raid schedule and was expected to show up every night. I seriously wanted to play a video game more than interact face to face with friends that I had known since 5th grade. Playing so much and not caring about anything else really(thanks depression) I ended up quitting my job so I didnt have to worry about getting up in the morning after staying up all night on my computer. I had a grand in the bank and a place to stay.. it didnt bother me that much. I got another job two months later that fit well with my gaming schedule so I was fine with it.
I still avoided my friends some times but slowly started hanging out with them more and eventually I wasnt making enough raids to care too much about warcraft any more.. we had alot of attendance problems and were almost at a stand still with content.. I was satisfied with what I got to play through up to that point so I finally said the hell with it and stopped raiding.. still played, still stayed up.. just not as late.
I listened to my mother and her boyfriend curse scream and break things in the next room, so naturally I went out more. Didnt know too many people near my moms house and Im not one to go looking for new friends so I hung out with the only three I really knew. We were all friends back in elementary/middle school yet I felt so out of place around them. We would smoke, hang out, and have a pretty good time.. new video games to play and the weed would actually make me go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
Around June my mother lost her job and started going downa similar path I did.. becoming lazy and unmotivated to do much of anything. She would actually sleep later than me some days and thats when I knew it was getting pretty bad for her. She would go to friends and drink early in the afternoon and stay there all day. There were a few times she didnt come home for a day or two, which was fine by me. Eventually she got fed up with not being able to keep a job and dealing with her boyfriend she decided it would be a good idea to move down to Florida with her family. It was a great idea for her, currently she is in a much better mood, working part time at a dealership, and fixing a place up with her sister for her to stay at so she can become a crazy old cat lady. Only problem was for me. It came pretty sudden and I wasnt really aware she was going down to Florida(dont think she was either) until a day or so before she went. I had to pack up my things and luckily my dad let me move in with him.
I moved in with him at the beginning of the school year. I went from an apartment with 3 people in it, me being mostly self sufficient, doing whatever I wanted, when I wanted.. to a cramped two story house with unfinished attic that fit a total of 8. If you know me already you probably know that Im not one for children. I had to deal with a 9 year old , 11 year old, 12 year old, and a 16 year old. I wanted to kill myself and everyone in that house nearly everyday.
Seeing as my dad just moved in to a new house he had to get the old one prepared to be sold or rented. Early on he said that I had to go over to the house from 8am until at very least 4 everyday and work on a list of things that needed to be done. Not really up for his plans, most of the time i would go over and sleep for a few hours and get a little bit done before he would show up and we would continue until dinner. I did this from mid-September until the end of Janurary when he wanted me to paint the whole garage. Instead of painting I decided that i really wanted to find a job instead of continuing to be his bitchboy for free. We had an arguement that came down to the work I was doing wasnt even worth justifying as compensation for him letting me stay at his house and that i take everything in my life for granted. He gave me the month of Februrary to find a job, or I had to GTFO.
The month went quickly. I went to websites of every major store in the area, along with various job finding websites and wasnt able to find anything. I told my dad and he told me I should be living finding a job, if i wanted one bad enough I would get something. Because i wasnt out in my truck every morning at the crack of dawn searching the streets for a job it meant I didnt care what happened to me and I didnt want to work..
wrote most of this a few days ago, ill get around to finishing it eventually
First off, I let warcraft take over my life for a few months. Living with my mom, slightly enjoyable job, and the depression from a breakup made the perfect combination for me to essentially make WoW my second job.. I had fun the whole time which wasnt too terrible but the farther we got, the slower we progressed and it got to the point where I would pass out at the keyboard during a raid, wake up and continue on.. and manage to stay up until 6am most days finishing a raid or doing trivial tasks afterwards. I avoided hanging out with friends because I had a set raid schedule and was expected to show up every night. I seriously wanted to play a video game more than interact face to face with friends that I had known since 5th grade. Playing so much and not caring about anything else really(thanks depression) I ended up quitting my job so I didnt have to worry about getting up in the morning after staying up all night on my computer. I had a grand in the bank and a place to stay.. it didnt bother me that much. I got another job two months later that fit well with my gaming schedule so I was fine with it.
I still avoided my friends some times but slowly started hanging out with them more and eventually I wasnt making enough raids to care too much about warcraft any more.. we had alot of attendance problems and were almost at a stand still with content.. I was satisfied with what I got to play through up to that point so I finally said the hell with it and stopped raiding.. still played, still stayed up.. just not as late.
I listened to my mother and her boyfriend curse scream and break things in the next room, so naturally I went out more. Didnt know too many people near my moms house and Im not one to go looking for new friends so I hung out with the only three I really knew. We were all friends back in elementary/middle school yet I felt so out of place around them. We would smoke, hang out, and have a pretty good time.. new video games to play and the weed would actually make me go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
Around June my mother lost her job and started going downa similar path I did.. becoming lazy and unmotivated to do much of anything. She would actually sleep later than me some days and thats when I knew it was getting pretty bad for her. She would go to friends and drink early in the afternoon and stay there all day. There were a few times she didnt come home for a day or two, which was fine by me. Eventually she got fed up with not being able to keep a job and dealing with her boyfriend she decided it would be a good idea to move down to Florida with her family. It was a great idea for her, currently she is in a much better mood, working part time at a dealership, and fixing a place up with her sister for her to stay at so she can become a crazy old cat lady. Only problem was for me. It came pretty sudden and I wasnt really aware she was going down to Florida(dont think she was either) until a day or so before she went. I had to pack up my things and luckily my dad let me move in with him.
I moved in with him at the beginning of the school year. I went from an apartment with 3 people in it, me being mostly self sufficient, doing whatever I wanted, when I wanted.. to a cramped two story house with unfinished attic that fit a total of 8. If you know me already you probably know that Im not one for children. I had to deal with a 9 year old , 11 year old, 12 year old, and a 16 year old. I wanted to kill myself and everyone in that house nearly everyday.
Seeing as my dad just moved in to a new house he had to get the old one prepared to be sold or rented. Early on he said that I had to go over to the house from 8am until at very least 4 everyday and work on a list of things that needed to be done. Not really up for his plans, most of the time i would go over and sleep for a few hours and get a little bit done before he would show up and we would continue until dinner. I did this from mid-September until the end of Janurary when he wanted me to paint the whole garage. Instead of painting I decided that i really wanted to find a job instead of continuing to be his bitchboy for free. We had an arguement that came down to the work I was doing wasnt even worth justifying as compensation for him letting me stay at his house and that i take everything in my life for granted. He gave me the month of Februrary to find a job, or I had to GTFO.
The month went quickly. I went to websites of every major store in the area, along with various job finding websites and wasnt able to find anything. I told my dad and he told me I should be living finding a job, if i wanted one bad enough I would get something. Because i wasnt out in my truck every morning at the crack of dawn searching the streets for a job it meant I didnt care what happened to me and I didnt want to work..