Santa letter
Dear Santa,
I have been very, very good. I have not killed my father for telling my Mom that she is losing her mind. I have not told my mother that she has become very needy. I have not told my little brother that I think they took his brains out when they did one of his hip surgeries. I have not told the neighbor that her father is never going to die - just going to linger at death's door forever to taunt her. I have not run down the road screaming that I am sick of trying to solve all the problems in the neighborhood. I have killed no one, nor have I fed any little old ladies or little old men from star to the gators in the swamp. I have not told my brother and his wife that their dogs are more welcome in my home than they would be. I was nice to my mother-in-law when I really wanted to scream at her that she was a dried up old prune and making the thank you cards for use after her funeral was just bizarre.
Okay, I admit that I have done some bad things, like putting the lid to the toilet seat down
after taking a shower and not lifting it back up causing my cousin to pee all over the floor and herself in the middle of the night. I know scaring my cousin's child so that she was afraid of me wasn't exactly nice, but she really did deserve it. Yes, I know that I have been kind of lazy this year, but don't the overachiever years make up for that? I know that I should have written all those get well, birthday, and thank you cards and again , don't all the times I remembered count for something?? Okay, I know the house looks like a tornado went through and the pigs then moved in with me. I have no good reason for that except the old saying about a cluttered desk means a busy mind. So judging by my house, my mind must never rest. That is a good thing, right??
So, now that we have established that I have been very very very good-----Santa this is what I want for Christmas:
I want a teddy bear to hug and a new dress and a million dollars!!
Lots of love,
Gianetta
P.S. I will leave you some whiskey and chips; I figure you must have become lactose intolerant after all those glasses of milk and diabetic from all those cookies.
I have been very, very good. I have not killed my father for telling my Mom that she is losing her mind. I have not told my mother that she has become very needy. I have not told my little brother that I think they took his brains out when they did one of his hip surgeries. I have not told the neighbor that her father is never going to die - just going to linger at death's door forever to taunt her. I have not run down the road screaming that I am sick of trying to solve all the problems in the neighborhood. I have killed no one, nor have I fed any little old ladies or little old men from star to the gators in the swamp. I have not told my brother and his wife that their dogs are more welcome in my home than they would be. I was nice to my mother-in-law when I really wanted to scream at her that she was a dried up old prune and making the thank you cards for use after her funeral was just bizarre.
Okay, I admit that I have done some bad things, like putting the lid to the toilet seat down
after taking a shower and not lifting it back up causing my cousin to pee all over the floor and herself in the middle of the night. I know scaring my cousin's child so that she was afraid of me wasn't exactly nice, but she really did deserve it. Yes, I know that I have been kind of lazy this year, but don't the overachiever years make up for that? I know that I should have written all those get well, birthday, and thank you cards and again , don't all the times I remembered count for something?? Okay, I know the house looks like a tornado went through and the pigs then moved in with me. I have no good reason for that except the old saying about a cluttered desk means a busy mind. So judging by my house, my mind must never rest. That is a good thing, right??
So, now that we have established that I have been very very very good-----Santa this is what I want for Christmas:
I want a teddy bear to hug and a new dress and a million dollars!!
Lots of love,
Gianetta
P.S. I will leave you some whiskey and chips; I figure you must have become lactose intolerant after all those glasses of milk and diabetic from all those cookies.