the hardest day ever
Today I had to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do. My mother has always hated cremation and I had to tell her that the medical examiner said that cremation was our only viable option for my Dad and Brother. Standing next to her watching her sob and beg me to find a way to not have them cremated nearly destroyed me. Please pray that I can find the strength to deal with all of this. Now I have to prepare both of their obituaries for tomorrow for the papers. I can't completly break down in fornt of Mom. When I had to describe the sequence of the fire to the Red Cross case worker today, Mom broke down sobbing that if she had been home, she could have gotten Dad awake and he would have been alive.
Having to tell her that if she had been there she would be dead too and having to tell the people in the room how we tried to get to Dad, even after Harold Wayne's room was completely engulfed and the roof was falling in and the oxygen tanks weere exploding and shooting through the air, and that we couldn't get to him caused me to just lose it and that upset Mom even more.
So, I will cry for a while tonight - everyone is staying in town tonight at a hotel to be near Mom in the morning, so I just keep looking across the road expecting to see my brother light on. All I see is ghostly shapes sticking up, the melted car and empty space.
Having to tell her that if she had been there she would be dead too and having to tell the people in the room how we tried to get to Dad, even after Harold Wayne's room was completely engulfed and the roof was falling in and the oxygen tanks weere exploding and shooting through the air, and that we couldn't get to him caused me to just lose it and that upset Mom even more.
So, I will cry for a while tonight - everyone is staying in town tonight at a hotel to be near Mom in the morning, so I just keep looking across the road expecting to see my brother light on. All I see is ghostly shapes sticking up, the melted car and empty space.