the visit
Well thanks to some good friends and a relentless Mother, I reclaimed my living room and most of the bathroom and spare room before my sister-in-law and her boyfrend arrived. It was a real struggle for those helping me. I kept wanting little breaks for naps - as I have said before cleaning house makes me want to crawl into a bed and sleep.
All the effort was well worth it. The house rang with peals of laughter for the first time since Steve's death. the conversation and food was great; but, best of all was looking around the room at good friends and feeling joy again. As I watched Mom and Dad and my brother laughing and sharing in the tale telling it felt as if a huge empty place in my soul became a little smaller and the pain of losing Steve became slightly less intense. We all stuffed ourselves on food and no one was in a hurry to leave even though most were working today. It was like my home used to be before Steve died - a place of good times and laughter.
After I said goodbye to Kathy and her boyfriend this morning, I sat in my clean orderly living room and felt a measure of calm peace. I am ready to reclaim my life as well as my house. I know it will be like cleaning the house, one step at a time - but I am ready to start living again.
My journey on this earth must continue and I can face it now with a small amount of hope.
My friends have been so very patient with me. I love them all for the thousands of kindnesses they have poured out to me to help me survive.
All the effort was well worth it. The house rang with peals of laughter for the first time since Steve's death. the conversation and food was great; but, best of all was looking around the room at good friends and feeling joy again. As I watched Mom and Dad and my brother laughing and sharing in the tale telling it felt as if a huge empty place in my soul became a little smaller and the pain of losing Steve became slightly less intense. We all stuffed ourselves on food and no one was in a hurry to leave even though most were working today. It was like my home used to be before Steve died - a place of good times and laughter.
After I said goodbye to Kathy and her boyfriend this morning, I sat in my clean orderly living room and felt a measure of calm peace. I am ready to reclaim my life as well as my house. I know it will be like cleaning the house, one step at a time - but I am ready to start living again.
My journey on this earth must continue and I can face it now with a small amount of hope.
My friends have been so very patient with me. I love them all for the thousands of kindnesses they have poured out to me to help me survive.