Letting go

[gianetta]

My life has been much more pleasant since I've learned the fine art of letting go.  Bosses driving me crazy?  Accept that they will never change and focus on their many positive attributes.   Project nuked from orbit by outside forces?  Care about it again when there's something to be done about it; until then, remember that raising my blood pressure over these people is not in my job description.  Offer of help rejected?  Shrug.  Fine - do it yourself; I'll help if asked.  Person pushing my buttons?  I get to choose how to react to this.  If I am angry, it is because I have let myself become angry, no matter how justified homicide might be at the moment.  Avoid that person.  Employer's main contract not as completely secure as previously thought?  Form financial back-up plan for last year of contract.  Worry about it if and when bosses ask me to work on the RFP.

Other keys to a less stressful existence for Jen:

• Write it down.  Keep lists on paper or in PDA, not in your head.  Once it's on the list, there's no chance of forgetting it, so you can stop thinking about it until it's time to act on it.  Keep one master list.  Every day, update a shorter to-do-today-or-tomorrow list (I use a big sticky note in my notebook so that it's easy to replace) and work from that.
• Know where your money is going.  Even if it's depressing, it's less stressful than not knowing what you owe and when it's due.  In Excel, pay dates and amounts go at top of columns, monthly bills and expenses (e.g., grocery budget) are one per row on left.   Enter each bill amount under a pay check so that it gets paid on time.  Sum bills in column and subtract from paycheck amount. (=A10-sum(A1-A9))  This is how much money you can spend until your next paycheck.  You can do this for an entire year and know you much money you'll have (or how much you're overspending) for the rest of the year.
• Have a back-up plan.  Assume it won't work (presentation equipment, job, flight, etc.) and figure out what you'll do if it doesn't.  If you have a back-up plan, you don't have to worry about it.
• Don't listen to sad songs, watch sad movies, or read about crimes that occurred on the other side of the continent.  Don't watch/read the gory details about the latest Katrina or earthquake - getting upset about it is not helping the victims - just send a donation to the Red Cross if you can and say a prayer of thanks to TPTB for your blessings.
• Unsubscribe from the Merry Rose or (insert name of your most drama-filled email list here).  The MR archive is online, so you can go back and read the train wrecks later if you like, but you're not subscribed so you CAN'T respond.  Hah!
• Get off your @$$ and do something when you feel down.  If you have major depression and *cannot* get off your butt, go to a doctor or friend and say 'I think I have major depression.'  If you're like most people and have a less drastic form of depression or are prone to melancholy spells, take your meds if you like and get up and DO SOMETHING - ANYTHING when you start feeling down.  Step away from the computer/TV/video game after half an hour or so.  If you can get your butt up and doing something, you *will* feel better.
• Remember that you *always* have a choice in how you react to things.  You may not be able to control events, but no one can *make* you angry.  No upcoming event or possible problem can *make* you worry.  You are *choosing* to allow yourself to become angry or to worry.  It's sometimes justified by the circumstances, but you are allowing it to happen.