12 Days of Cottington Villians
So as Klee can attest, I write these ludicrous things every year. This one is villains. It goes about as well as expected.
Beldannan: On the first day of Christmas, my...I refuse to sing that.
Ulkarion: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, two wolf packs
Beldannan: and an Evil Fairy Queen.
Leandra: On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, three false witnesses.
Ulkarion: Two wolf packs
Beldannan: And an Evil Fairy Queen (this is stupid)
Medigo: On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, four ‘borrowed’ souls
Leandra: Three false witnesses. Or is it Witnessings? Witnessedesses?
Ulkarion: I’m getting hungry.
Beldannan: Don’t even think about it big boy.
Jester: ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TWU WUV GAVE TO ME, FIIIIIIIVE MAAAAAYYYY-HEMMMMMMMMMMM
Medigo: What the heck is wrong with that guy.
Leandra: Witne-witnessessesss- can’t be witnesses, because I only have ONE OF THOSE.
Solace of Doubt: WE HUNGER
Bendannan: And a, well, me.
Invasive: ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, OUR TRUE LOVE GAVE TO US, SIX SPORES EXPLODING.
Jester: FIIIIIIIIVE CREEEEEPY LAUUUUGGHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-AHAHAHAHA!
Medigo: Really, I was going to give them back.
Leandra: Three kinds of agony for the oath breaker.
Ulkarion: Uh, that wasn’t me, honest.
Beldannan: I really have way more important things I could be doing right now.
Red Queen: On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, seven redding roses!
Invasive: SIX SPORES EXPLODING
Jester: FIIIIIIVVEEE YEARS OF THERRRAPYYYYY!
Medigo: No I wasn’t.
Leandra: Just hand him over and we can be pals, honest.
Solace of Doubt: FOOLISH MORTALS!
Beldannan: Pardon?
Cut-Throat: On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, eight cut throats? Oh well that’s original.
Red Queen: Seven red rosings!
Invasive: SIX SPORES EXPLODING
Jester: FIIIIIVE DEAAAAADDD BODIEEEEEESSSS
Medigo: Four shiny new golems!
Leandra: GIVE HIM TO ME YOU IDIOTS
Solace of Doubt: LET’S EAT THAT ONE WITH WITH RIDICULOUS HAT
Beldannan: Your funeral demon.
Lady of Nightmares: On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine dreamers crying!
Cut-Throat: Do you mean red roses lady?
Red Queen: OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
Invasive: SEVEN SPORES EXPLODING
Jester: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Medigo: Wait, the creepy plant thing just said the wrong number. Can we do that? Is that a thing?
Red Cap Hoard: RAAAWR
Solace of Doubt: NO, WAIT, I’VE CHANGED MY MIND.
Beldannan: And an Evil Fairy Queen told you so.
Slender: on the tenth day of christmas, my true love gave to me, ten sheep a screaming
Lady of Nightmares: Oh I love it when he does that!
Cut-Throat: Easy crazy lady, I-
Red Queen: OFF WITH HIS HEAD! OFF WITH HIS HEAD! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
Invasive: FOURTEEN SPORES EXPLODING
Jester: FIVE CHOPPED HEEEAAAAADS!
Medigo: Seriously, is no one going to do anything about the plant thing?
Leandra: Three poorly thought out fairy bargains. Heh.
Solace of Doubt: NO, I TOTALLY CHANGED MY MIND FOR OTHER REASONS UNRELATED TO YOU FAIRY.
Beldannan: Whatever. At least I didn’t get my butt kicked by a bunch of farmers and bakers.
Jabberwocky: VJGFUR^R(:G:HJVP(^*&R^%WSDGJ>IKUP”KL{GFHJDFDKFLJF
Slender: ten children crying
Lady of Nightmares: Sweet, sweet music!
Robin: *robs Cut-Throat blind*
Red Queen: OFF WITH HIS HHHEEEEAAAAD!
Invasive: TWENTY EIGHT SPORES EXPLODING
Jester: FIIIIVVVVE GOLDEN RINNNNNGGGSSSS
Medigo: I’m out of here.
Leandra: Wait, why is it worse when he sings the actual lyrics to this damnable song?
Solace of Doubt: HOW DARE Y- pop!
Beldannan: At least they shut him up.
?: *accordion music*
Jabberwocky: FYTO*^(&TGBKHFFSULJ”OUOIPYFFFFFFFFFF???
Slender: ten nights of terror
Lady of Nightmares: How about I give you ten digits tall, dark and leggy?
Cut-Throat: WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON RIGHT NOW
Red-Queen: Awww, who’s momma’s baby? It it you? Is it you Jabbereockakins?
Invasive: BOOM
Jester: I’M GOING TO PAINT THIS TOWN WITH YOUR OWN BLOOD
Medigo: Can Golems get infected with spores? TIME FOR SCIENCE
Leandra: That’s more like it.
Ulkarion: Ow, my head hurts.
Beldannan: You are all the reason I can’t have nice things.
Beldannan: On the first day of Christmas, my...I refuse to sing that.
Ulkarion: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, two wolf packs
Beldannan: and an Evil Fairy Queen.
Leandra: On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, three false witnesses.
Ulkarion: Two wolf packs
Beldannan: And an Evil Fairy Queen (this is stupid)
Medigo: On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, four ‘borrowed’ souls
Leandra: Three false witnesses. Or is it Witnessings? Witnessedesses?
Ulkarion: I’m getting hungry.
Beldannan: Don’t even think about it big boy.
Jester: ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TWU WUV GAVE TO ME, FIIIIIIIVE MAAAAAYYYY-HEMMMMMMMMMMM
Medigo: What the heck is wrong with that guy.
Leandra: Witne-witnessessesss- can’t be witnesses, because I only have ONE OF THOSE.
Solace of Doubt: WE HUNGER
Bendannan: And a, well, me.
Invasive: ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, OUR TRUE LOVE GAVE TO US, SIX SPORES EXPLODING.
Jester: FIIIIIIIIVE CREEEEEPY LAUUUUGGHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-AHAHAHAHA!
Medigo: Really, I was going to give them back.
Leandra: Three kinds of agony for the oath breaker.
Ulkarion: Uh, that wasn’t me, honest.
Beldannan: I really have way more important things I could be doing right now.
Red Queen: On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, seven redding roses!
Invasive: SIX SPORES EXPLODING
Jester: FIIIIIIVVEEE YEARS OF THERRRAPYYYYY!
Medigo: No I wasn’t.
Leandra: Just hand him over and we can be pals, honest.
Solace of Doubt: FOOLISH MORTALS!
Beldannan: Pardon?
Cut-Throat: On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, eight cut throats? Oh well that’s original.
Red Queen: Seven red rosings!
Invasive: SIX SPORES EXPLODING
Jester: FIIIIIVE DEAAAAADDD BODIEEEEEESSSS
Medigo: Four shiny new golems!
Leandra: GIVE HIM TO ME YOU IDIOTS
Solace of Doubt: LET’S EAT THAT ONE WITH WITH RIDICULOUS HAT
Beldannan: Your funeral demon.
Lady of Nightmares: On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine dreamers crying!
Cut-Throat: Do you mean red roses lady?
Red Queen: OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
Invasive: SEVEN SPORES EXPLODING
Jester: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Medigo: Wait, the creepy plant thing just said the wrong number. Can we do that? Is that a thing?
Red Cap Hoard: RAAAWR
Solace of Doubt: NO, WAIT, I’VE CHANGED MY MIND.
Beldannan: And an Evil Fairy Queen told you so.
Slender: on the tenth day of christmas, my true love gave to me, ten sheep a screaming
Lady of Nightmares: Oh I love it when he does that!
Cut-Throat: Easy crazy lady, I-
Red Queen: OFF WITH HIS HEAD! OFF WITH HIS HEAD! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
Invasive: FOURTEEN SPORES EXPLODING
Jester: FIVE CHOPPED HEEEAAAAADS!
Medigo: Seriously, is no one going to do anything about the plant thing?
Leandra: Three poorly thought out fairy bargains. Heh.
Solace of Doubt: NO, I TOTALLY CHANGED MY MIND FOR OTHER REASONS UNRELATED TO YOU FAIRY.
Beldannan: Whatever. At least I didn’t get my butt kicked by a bunch of farmers and bakers.
Jabberwocky: VJGFUR^R(:G:HJVP(^*&R^%WSDGJ>IKUP”KL{GFHJDFDKFLJF
Slender: ten children crying
Lady of Nightmares: Sweet, sweet music!
Robin: *robs Cut-Throat blind*
Red Queen: OFF WITH HIS HHHEEEEAAAAD!
Invasive: TWENTY EIGHT SPORES EXPLODING
Jester: FIIIIVVVVE GOLDEN RINNNNNGGGSSSS
Medigo: I’m out of here.
Leandra: Wait, why is it worse when he sings the actual lyrics to this damnable song?
Solace of Doubt: HOW DARE Y- pop!
Beldannan: At least they shut him up.
?: *accordion music*
Jabberwocky: FYTO*^(&TGBKHFFSULJ”OUOIPYFFFFFFFFFF???
Slender: ten nights of terror
Lady of Nightmares: How about I give you ten digits tall, dark and leggy?
Cut-Throat: WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON RIGHT NOW
Red-Queen: Awww, who’s momma’s baby? It it you? Is it you Jabbereockakins?
Invasive: BOOM
Jester: I’M GOING TO PAINT THIS TOWN WITH YOUR OWN BLOOD
Medigo: Can Golems get infected with spores? TIME FOR SCIENCE
Leandra: That’s more like it.
Ulkarion: Ow, my head hurts.
Beldannan: You are all the reason I can’t have nice things.