I haven't updated in a while. So here's a pseudo post of sorts. Fanfiction. Or something of the like. I'll post something more substantial sometime. Maybe
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Arryl: pretty vignette, reminds me (perhaps overmuch) of the scene in LotR where the hobbits awaken in the elves' kingdom
Syrolee: too short to tell. A powerful, evil female character? That could be interesting enough to merit greater length.
Krydence: very good. Tight, terse sentences seem to fit the character. Then again, I don't really know the character.
Lukys: This is sort of cute, but it never really achieves anything else. Why is he so devoted to astrology? He seems to be a neutral character... where are his allegiances?
Tryan: A lot of politics and world-specific details prevent me from understanding this character. Sorry, ask Ellen.
Cayal: Ooh, I really like this. Especially since you and Ellen bandy this name about so often. Familiarity breeds good dialogue, I see, because I find Lukys and Cayal very compelling in this scene. "Maybe we need something to anchor onto..." This whole bit really summarizes what I think it would be to be immortal. The passage of time becomes meaningless and dissolves without a firm grip on the real world. Birth and youth, marriage, children, purpose, and death are part of a circle that completes itself over and over again in ordinary life. Immortal life is otherwise like a line, neverending and unchanging. Good job.
Rance: Hm. Reminds me of someone.
Jaxyn: I love how the Lord of Temperance wants to get drunk.
Elyssa: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Again, a fair portrait.
Kinta: Another nice meditation on life and immortality (I think). Because immortality is not truly life.
Lyna: Seduce them, manipulate them, and betray them. And they say women had no power before the feminist movement... I love how she does this for her husband, who's too much of an idiot to realize her extracurricular activities. Kind of a bittersweet portrayal of marriage... I wonder if she ever loved her husband?
Taryx: Who is this person? Why does he love his ice sculptures so much? Alas, this vignette never tells us.
Medwen: "Beautiful shards of fragile things" is such a beautiful line, particularly meaningful in light of the violence described.
Maralacye: Not very informative. Old female characters are fascinating because they often have such great histories and backstories, and yet you just provide a snapshot of her in everyday life. Nice, in an Imagist sort of way, but I've never been a fan of Imagism.
Engarhod: That is an awesome name.
Ambria: Ooh, Krydence's wife leaves him. That sounds like a good decision.
Kentravyon: You wrote at great length on this subject, though I should have expected it, since you display a marked tendency to dwell on death and violence, although usually it's not so... bloody as this. Yup, this character's a sociopath alright. Otherwise he would understand why "there is grief in his manner."
You wanted me to talk about the child, then; I don't know why. I guess this scene reminds me of Voldemort and Harry Potter, the juxtaposition of innocence and evil and how they co-exist, etc.
Pellys: I like this a lot, for the same reasons mentioned in Cayal and Kinta. The end ("Synapses disconnect and fire in irregularity") is frankly, for lack of a better word, cool. I love when writers use scientific terminology to explain phenomena instead of always using metaphor.
Coron: Brief and accurate portrayal of an animal's thoughts.
Arryl is the sweetest immortal. As sweet as you get for an immortal, that is.
Syrolee is actually a powerless female for the most part, beyond being immortal. Cause they're all immortal but some have more power than others. She's just power hungry as well.
Krydence we don't ever see much of or why he got the title. So I made it up.
Lukys. Heh. Never trust what that man says. His allegiance is to himself and his rat. As for astrology, he just wants to rule the universe. And he's just an absurdist above anything else.
Tryan is really there to see what set Cayal off. Cause we never got the reasons or specifics of what happened.
Cayal is one of the main POVs and is also one of the more sympathetic immortals. He's also the one who wants to die. His lines were based on a conversation that we had about why he ended up that way.
Rance reminds you of who?
Heh. It's the ultimate irony that he's anything but what his title suggests.
Elyssa. Eh. She's as her name suggests, and is an 'immortal maiden'. Since she was a virgin when she became immortal. she's forever a maiden...And since they heal injuries. Well.
Kinta is one of the better ones who has a grasp of what immortality is.
She's actually a power hungry whore.
We don't see much of him in the books either, so I kept it that way. All we know is that he likes ice.
I think the idea with Medwen was to capture some idea of intolerance or fear. Or something. I don't know.
Maralacye..Heh. She's a grouchy women who mines for gold. That's all she's done for about 8,000 years.
Engarhod/Ambria- those two wrote themselves for the most part. And Engarhod is an awkward sounding name.
Kentravyon's an insane immortal who thinks he's God. So Ellen gave me the idea of describing his descent into madness- he literally doesn't empathize with human life any more. The child was because he kills an innocent child in an attempt to save the innocence of the child. To him, innocence is innocence before it knows itself.
Pellys just wanted to forget, but not die. It is a nice line, isn't it?
Arryl: pretty vignette, reminds me (perhaps overmuch) of the scene in LotR where the hobbits awaken in the elves' kingdom
Syrolee: too short to tell. A powerful, evil female character? That could be interesting enough to merit greater length.
Krydence: very good. Tight, terse sentences seem to fit the character. Then again, I don't really know the character.
Lukys: This is sort of cute, but it never really achieves anything else. Why is he so devoted to astrology? He seems to be a neutral character... where are his allegiances?
Tryan: A lot of politics and world-specific details prevent me from understanding this character. Sorry, ask Ellen.
Cayal: Ooh, I really like this. Especially since you and Ellen bandy this name about so often. Familiarity breeds good dialogue, I see, because I find Lukys and Cayal very compelling in this scene. "Maybe we need something to anchor onto..." This whole bit really summarizes what I think it would be to be immortal. The passage of time becomes meaningless and dissolves without a firm grip on the real world. Birth and youth, marriage, children, purpose, and death are part of a circle that completes itself over and over again in ordinary life. Immortal life is otherwise like a line, neverending and unchanging. Good job.
Rance: Hm. Reminds me of someone.
Jaxyn: I love how the Lord of Temperance wants to get drunk.
Elyssa: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Again, a fair portrait.
Kinta: Another nice meditation on life and immortality (I think). Because immortality is not truly life.
Lyna: Seduce them, manipulate them, and betray them. And they say women had no power before the feminist movement... I love how she does this for her husband, who's too much of an idiot to realize her extracurricular activities. Kind of a bittersweet portrayal of marriage... I wonder if she ever loved her husband?
Taryx: Who is this person? Why does he love his ice sculptures so much? Alas, this vignette never tells us.
Medwen: "Beautiful shards of fragile things" is such a beautiful line, particularly meaningful in light of the violence described.
Maralacye: Not very informative. Old female characters are fascinating because they often have such great histories and backstories, and yet you just provide a snapshot of her in everyday life. Nice, in an Imagist sort of way, but I've never been a fan of Imagism.
Engarhod: That is an awesome name.
Ambria: Ooh, Krydence's wife leaves him. That sounds like a good decision.
Kentravyon: You wrote at great length on this subject, though I should have expected it, since you display a marked tendency to dwell on death and violence, although usually it's not so... bloody as this. Yup, this character's a sociopath alright. Otherwise he would understand why "there is grief in his manner."
You wanted me to talk about the child, then; I don't know why. I guess this scene reminds me of Voldemort and Harry Potter, the juxtaposition of innocence and evil and how they co-exist, etc.
Pellys: I like this a lot, for the same reasons mentioned in Cayal and Kinta. The end ("Synapses disconnect and fire in irregularity") is frankly, for lack of a better word, cool. I love when writers use scientific terminology to explain phenomena instead of always using metaphor.
Coron: Brief and accurate portrayal of an animal's thoughts.
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Syrolee is actually a powerless female for the most part, beyond being immortal. Cause they're all immortal but some have more power than others. She's just power hungry as well.
Krydence we don't ever see much of or why he got the title. So I made it up.
Lukys. Heh. Never trust what that man says. His allegiance is to himself and his rat. As for astrology, he just wants to rule the universe. And he's just an absurdist above anything else.
Tryan is really there to see what set Cayal off. Cause we never got the reasons or specifics of what happened.
Cayal is one of the main POVs and is also one of the more sympathetic immortals. He's also the one who wants to die. His lines were based on a conversation that we had about why he ended up that way.
Rance reminds you of who?
Heh. It's the ultimate irony that he's anything but what his title suggests.
Elyssa. Eh. She's as her name suggests, and is an 'immortal maiden'. Since she was a virgin when she became immortal. she's forever a maiden...And since they heal injuries. Well.
Kinta is one of the better ones who has a grasp of what immortality is.
She's actually a power hungry whore.
We don't see much of him in the books either, so I kept it that way. All we know is that he likes ice.
I think the idea with Medwen was to capture some idea of intolerance or fear. Or something. I don't know.
Maralacye..Heh. She's a grouchy women who mines for gold. That's all she's done for about 8,000 years.
Engarhod/Ambria- those two wrote themselves for the most part. And Engarhod is an awkward sounding name.
Kentravyon's an insane immortal who thinks he's God. So Ellen gave me the idea of describing his descent into madness- he literally doesn't empathize with human life any more.
The child was because he kills an innocent child in an attempt to save the innocence of the child. To him, innocence is innocence before it knows itself.
Pellys just wanted to forget, but not die. It is a nice line, isn't it?
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