(no subject)
BAH!! I want to post but I keep having conflicting thoughts about what I want to write about. Rather, I keep not being able to hold one thought in my head for long enough to write it down without a different one popping up. I guess I'll just post my current grievances and be done for the evening.
1. I'm angry at my roommate. He won't clean anything. It's frustrating to live in a really nice, big room, but have it filled with his stuff and hence not be able to use my own room. Also, it smells like beer. I don't like beer, or it's odor.
2. I'm really tired and want to have time to myself. I can't, though, because I have lots of work to do.
3. I feel like I can't move fast enough anymore.
4. Points two (2) and three (3) irritates me.
5. People keep complaining to me about things that I do/don't do. It's always, "You do too much. Stop it and do things for yourself." And this is often followed by "Can you do this for me?" And there are people for whom this does not apply. And there are people whom I offer help to. If I offer you help, I want to help you.
6. I don't think I'm working hard enough, but I don't know if I can summon the energy/will/whatever to work harder. I want to work harder and learn more. I'm just afraid that I can't. I'll keep trying, though. We'll see. Maybe I just have to give up everything else.
7. I'm not sure if I'm more afraid of the prospect that I may not be able to work harder than I do or that I'll have to give up everything to do so. The latter is especially worrysome because I'm afraid of being left alone. But again, maybe that is what I need to do, so that I can learn to survive that way.
I guess that's all for now. Goodnight.
1. I'm angry at my roommate. He won't clean anything. It's frustrating to live in a really nice, big room, but have it filled with his stuff and hence not be able to use my own room. Also, it smells like beer. I don't like beer, or it's odor.
2. I'm really tired and want to have time to myself. I can't, though, because I have lots of work to do.
3. I feel like I can't move fast enough anymore.
4. Points two (2) and three (3) irritates me.
5. People keep complaining to me about things that I do/don't do. It's always, "You do too much. Stop it and do things for yourself." And this is often followed by "Can you do this for me?" And there are people for whom this does not apply. And there are people whom I offer help to. If I offer you help, I want to help you.
6. I don't think I'm working hard enough, but I don't know if I can summon the energy/will/whatever to work harder. I want to work harder and learn more. I'm just afraid that I can't. I'll keep trying, though. We'll see. Maybe I just have to give up everything else.
7. I'm not sure if I'm more afraid of the prospect that I may not be able to work harder than I do or that I'll have to give up everything to do so. The latter is especially worrysome because I'm afraid of being left alone. But again, maybe that is what I need to do, so that I can learn to survive that way.
I guess that's all for now. Goodnight.