The ingenuity of the spider
Today I am back from four days at cabin in Minnesota. I feel refreshed, almost transformed. It's amazing how things change across state borders--the sky, the air, the trees were really and truly and vividly different. I felt happier up there than I have in a while--a different kind of happiness, too. Not the kind that felt like a relief from something, but a kind of happiness in its own right, if that makes any sense. A few weeks ago I could've told you any number of fears I had about the future, but they've almost all diminished now. I feel stronger than usual, ready, for lack of a more precise term, to grab life by the fucking balls. Plus, I have discovered I can swim for a very long time without getting tired, which is nice.
My interest in Buddhism has intensified greatly as of late. My knowledge of it is relatively limited, I'll admit, but many of what seem to be its core principles appear more useful and relevant to my life than those of any other religion I'm familiar with. An emphasis on relief from suffering, from the kind of wanting some maintain brings suffering, but not necessarily an attitude of disengagement. Also, from what I understand, it has as much to do with practice as belief--parts of an ideology I can bring into my life without reservedly adopting a religion. Something I intend to educate myself on in the next few years.
On the drive back home, I was playing 20 questions with Bobby. I had chosen "White Power," and after making no progress for 19 guesses, on #20 out of nowhere he GOT IT. Brotherhood is a wonderful thing. I hadn't experienced anything like that since a game of hangman during Honors American Lit, when I chose "birdfish" and Acker somehow managed to guess it.
I read Vonnegut's Bluebeard yesterday, and was eventually disturbed by the realization that I have forgotten a whole hell of a lot from AP Civ and AP Art History. Giottos and Uccellos, Rothkos and DeKoonings are all jumbled up in my mind. Cézanne is still unequivocally my homeboy, however.
Some things about music:
- I heard Buddy Holly's "Peggy Sue" yesterday, and for a second I thought I was listening to a muzak version of the Clash's "White Riot." A really weird and cool feeling.
- In general I like to avoid judging people by the music they listen to, but after seeing a video of theirs the other day, it seems like it'd be impossible to be a fan of My Chemical Romance and not be kind of a dork.
- Intonation is in about two days. I am pumped for the Go! Team, and hella pumped for the Decemberists. And for the FRIENDSHIP.
I'm planning to buy the second season of 'The Kids in the Hall' on DVD soon, for whatever that's worth. Jim, Ricky, you'll have to come have a watching party with me before college starts.
EDIT/UPDATE: Tonight I dropped a 2-liter bottle of A&W Cream Soda of the Moore Park tower and saw it go higher than any 2-liter ever has, back up and past the height of the tower itself, over the tops of trees. I just typed "into the fucking stratosphere" and then deleted it, because I realized I'm not entirely sure what the definition of stratosphere is. But it was probably all up there too. These past few days I have felt truly and vividly and organically happy, and god has it been a while. Since the feeling was this potent, anyway. I FEEL FUCKING GREAT.
My interest in Buddhism has intensified greatly as of late. My knowledge of it is relatively limited, I'll admit, but many of what seem to be its core principles appear more useful and relevant to my life than those of any other religion I'm familiar with. An emphasis on relief from suffering, from the kind of wanting some maintain brings suffering, but not necessarily an attitude of disengagement. Also, from what I understand, it has as much to do with practice as belief--parts of an ideology I can bring into my life without reservedly adopting a religion. Something I intend to educate myself on in the next few years.
On the drive back home, I was playing 20 questions with Bobby. I had chosen "White Power," and after making no progress for 19 guesses, on #20 out of nowhere he GOT IT. Brotherhood is a wonderful thing. I hadn't experienced anything like that since a game of hangman during Honors American Lit, when I chose "birdfish" and Acker somehow managed to guess it.
I read Vonnegut's Bluebeard yesterday, and was eventually disturbed by the realization that I have forgotten a whole hell of a lot from AP Civ and AP Art History. Giottos and Uccellos, Rothkos and DeKoonings are all jumbled up in my mind. Cézanne is still unequivocally my homeboy, however.
Some things about music:
- I heard Buddy Holly's "Peggy Sue" yesterday, and for a second I thought I was listening to a muzak version of the Clash's "White Riot." A really weird and cool feeling.
- In general I like to avoid judging people by the music they listen to, but after seeing a video of theirs the other day, it seems like it'd be impossible to be a fan of My Chemical Romance and not be kind of a dork.
- Intonation is in about two days. I am pumped for the Go! Team, and hella pumped for the Decemberists. And for the FRIENDSHIP.
I'm planning to buy the second season of 'The Kids in the Hall' on DVD soon, for whatever that's worth. Jim, Ricky, you'll have to come have a watching party with me before college starts.
EDIT/UPDATE: Tonight I dropped a 2-liter bottle of A&W Cream Soda of the Moore Park tower and saw it go higher than any 2-liter ever has, back up and past the height of the tower itself, over the tops of trees. I just typed "into the fucking stratosphere" and then deleted it, because I realized I'm not entirely sure what the definition of stratosphere is. But it was probably all up there too. These past few days I have felt truly and vividly and organically happy, and god has it been a while. Since the feeling was this potent, anyway. I FEEL FUCKING GREAT.