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[A note to my blog readers in or of the Ames area: after writing the first paragraph of this post, I realized some of it might not make any sense to you, and I have thus included a glossary directly following it. The inclusion of this glossary is probably as or more obnoxious as just posting a paragraph you wouldn't totally have understood would
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my toughest problem with doug is the smell. he smells like the floor of a burger king kitchen that hasn't been cleaned in years. i'm serious, this guy and everything he owns smells like several year old grease, and i don't know if you've ever worked in a fast food restraunt and smelled this.........awful stench, but it is now threatening to overwhelm the copious amount of febreeze i am spraying on dougs side of the room.
also he moans, chokes and snores like hella in his sleep.
doug is the anti-thesis of everything i am here at college. he is tall, fat, has a job, is terribly filthy and disgusting (he doesnt use anything to clean himself other than his anti-dandruff shampoo....thats right, no soap), has a social life (with others of.....his kind), isn't paying diddly squat for his eduction (thanks pell grants!) and completely slacks off about anything that has to do with schoolwork, he doesnt use sheets, in the two months that he has been here he has done his laundry once, he has a small penis (most scarring image i've ever seen) he also has multiple girlfriends, one here and one in texas.
i could go on, but....i can't, without getting even more pissed off
p.s. your avian stuff is pretty funny, i can't wait to see hugh grant die agonizing deaths in theatre. finally, a movie i would pay money for.
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also, it.....could be worse? i don't know. i've been seriously debating it for awhile now.
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