Singularity app
Player Information ;
Your Nickname: Poptart
OOC Journal: princesscurls
Under 18? Yes. :( 17.
Email/IM: [e-mail] kuroupouri@yahoo.com ; [AIM] Kuroupouri
Characters Played at Singularity: N/A
Character Information ;
Name: Joan Egbert (John Egbert)
Name of Canon: Homestuck
Canon/AU/Other Game CR: AU
Reference: John | Homestuck
Canon Point: I’m taking her after she ascends to the god tiers and finds her dad’s wallet.
Setting:
In this AU, the trolls, guardians (with the exception of Joan's dad) and kids are just the opposite gender, so I would be citing things in, well, in their AUified conditions meaning that I'd be dropping she's and her's where he's and his' should be because I have no idea what to do.
Earth
The four kids that play Sburb come from the Planet Earth, our own homeplanet but with a few adjustments. Basically, you take Earth from 2009 with its Ironman, Con Air, Snoop Dogg and H.P. Lovecraft, and you tweak it a little bit so real life could be just like a video game.
Everyone has a Sylladex, which is a card-based inventory. In order to put (or, “captchalogue”) items in one’s Sylladex, that would require a Fetch Modus. A Fetch Modus is the setting a person uses to retrieve their items; for example, Joan uses the Queustack Array that helps her pick any item she wants as long as they’re in the bottom or top cards. If a person happens to put an item over a card that’s already containing a different one, i.e. captchalogueing a bunny on a card that already has a book in it, the book would fling off the inventory. There’s usually a size limit to what you can put in a Sylladex (you can’t captchalogue a doll bigger than you) with the exemption of Dad’s wallet.
A Strife Specibus is a special card that a person uses for battle. People can have as many weapons as they want as long as they have a decent Strife Portfolio and the right cards. Before anyone can use a weapon, however, they have to allocate it into the -kind Abastrus; for example, Strider wants to use a shitty sword as his weapon, so he allocates it a sword to swordkind. Yes, they can’t just pick up a club and use it to hit people. They need to allocate it first.
Sburb Beta
Of course, every story has its premise. Resident Evil is about a chick with high heels that needs to grab a gun and start shooting zombies son and Fallout 3, is about creating a character to explore post-Apocalyptic America. Homestuck is about a kid and his (or in this instance, her) friends and they play a game.
…But that’s like saying Naruto is about a kid that wants to be a ninja; it’s true, but it doesn’t really cover up most of it. Homestuck’s full of so many plot shit and game shit and weird time shit that it’s easy to lose track of what’s happening. Understandable, because the latest word count Hussie did reveal it’s over 300,000 words right now.
Sburb is a sandbox-type of game resembling the Sims in the sense you can control the environment with a cursor, except it takes place in the real world.
Players
Upon receiving the game, the player would notice there are two discs to use: The Server and The Client discs. Whoever it is needs a partner to be able to play.
The Server Player
The Server Player is the one with the cursor that manipulates the environment. His goal is to assist The Client to enter The Medium (more on that later). The Server is given a menu of controls to do this; he can copy items, delete them, and set up the things The Client has to use as long as he has enough building grist, which is the compensation for building things. It would be way too easy if everything was free, after all. Anyway, while The Server has access to view the Client’s environment, his span of control is limited. He can’t control anything past The Client’s lawn or anything where The Client has never been i.e. The Client has never been to her dad’s room, so the view to that room is obscured.
Ross Lalonde is Joan’s Server Player, and Joan is Jake Harley’s Server Player.
The Client Player
The Client Player is the player that needs to get into The Medium. Sburb doesn’t have any instructions on how to do that, so no one really has any idea on what to do with the game other than the shit people wrote on GameFAQs before they mysteriously disappeared. As such, many have failed and met their grim, meteor-related deaths. Joan, with the help of Ross, is the first human that figured out how to enter the game.
To enter the game, they need to prototype the kernelsprite with one or two items to complete their assigned task. Each kid gets a task to overcome a certain area they’re having difficulty in, to make sure they’re worthy of their titles. For Joan, she had to bite the Cruxite Apple to symbolize loss of innocence. She succeeds, and enters the Medium.
Which brings us to…
The Incipisphere
This is the universe where the real game takes place. It’s in a dimension completely different from ours, meant only to house the players of the game. “House the players of the game” because when a player enters The Medium, he brings his house along with him? Get it? Yeah, it’s not funny.
Skaia
Skaia is the realm of unlimited imagination and where dreams come true. The armies of Light and Darkness duel here, where they’re stuck in a perpetual, perfect stalemate but Light is always destined to lose. With each prototyping of the kernelsprite, the battle only grows more intense, and Skaia evolves. Skaia has to reach its last form for the players to create a new universe and claim the prize.
Prospit and Derse
Prospit is The Kingdom of Light; it’s the closest planet the orbits around Skaia, and its goal is to protect it from Derse. Derse is The Kingdom of Darkness; it’s the planet furthest from Skaia, tucked behind an asteroid belt called The Veil, and its goal is to defeat Prospit. Their architectures are similar with the differences being:
- Colors: Prospit is gold; Derse is violet.
- Ambiance: Prospit is sunny; Derse is dark.
- Citizens: Prospit carapaces are white-skinned; Derse carapaces are black-skinned.
- Method of Prognostication: Prospit has clouds that foretell the future; Derse has horrorterrors that whisper creepy things to you.
These are both dream worlds. If someone wants to go to one of them, that person has to wake up as their dreamselves… or teleport there if they have space warping abilities because WHY THE HELL NOT.
The Medium
These are the planets that each player would end up in. This is where most of the adventuring goes. Each player has their own, unique planet design, mythological roles, consorts and denizens. For a player to reach Skaia, they must enter through all The Seven Gates, defeat their denizens, rescue their consorts and defeat The Black King and Black Queen. The planets would be:
Egbert = The Land of Wind and Shade
Lalonde = The Land of Light and Rain
Strider = The Land of Heat and Clockwork
Harley = The Land of Frost and Frogs
Consorts are the assigned citizens of each planet. They’re usually very stupid, but they drop hints about the player’s quest… which is kind of useless because along with helping you fight imps (the monsters the player defeats to earn grist), the kernelsprite also acts as a sort of spirit guide.
Purpose
At the beginning of the game, no one really knows the point of Sburb but during the course of it, they’ll find out why it exists. They’ll find out Sburb’s purpose isn’t that complicated, not really! It exists just to:
CREATE A NEW UNIVERSE
In order to do that, there is also the totally minor and insignificant detail that:
IN ORDER TO CREATE THIS NEW UNIVERSE, THEY HAVE TO DESTROY THEIR OLD ONE
/human emotion called sarcasm
So yeah, it’s kind of a hard punch to the balls if the player wanted to keep his home planet but that’s better than dying in the meteor shower at least. The prize for winning the game is a universe made for them to rule in whatever way they please.
AU Things
I will be listing details about her adventure. Some of them are similar to what John experienced, but others would be different:
Her mythological role is The Witch of Breath; she gained ALL OF THE LEVELS and she’s already at god tiers. As mentioned before, her planet is The Land of Wind and Shade. Her kernelsprite is Grandpasprite; she got him by fusing her maimed harlequin doll with her deceased, grandfather’s ashes. Her patron troll is still Serket.
Personality:
The first thing anyone would notice - or rather, not notice at all - about Joan is that she’s very, very plain. And that’s pretty true for the most part. She grew up in a neighbourhood in Washington with a really normal, overcompensating, single father, inside a house identical to the other houses around it. She’s not a protégée like Jake, nor is she cool like Dana; she’s just an average girl with average looks and smarts.
The second thing anyone would notice about her is that there’s a shit ton of other things to notice about her.
First, she’s extremely nerdy. She has a wide variety of interests. She loves hilariously bad movies, particularly ones of the romantic genre or ones about the impending Apocalypse, Paranormal lore, Math, magic tricks, the internet, anime, acting and pranks. She’s known to ramble about her interests when she finds the opportunity to. She’s also quite passionate about Web designing, but she’s notoriously bad at art and html in general. Her web sites often look like the ones you’d see on geocities, the one with the expired backgrounds, glittery .gifs and blinding comic sans. Even her appearance is a dead giveaway of her nerdiness; she has square glasses and teeth that have never seen an orthodontist.
Second, she’s weird and unpredictable. Did I already say she’s weird? Because she is. She has the most unconventional thinking patterns. They’re simple and innocent, just like a little kid’s. And just like a little kid, she deals with stimuli in really unique ways. For example, she can stuff two pair of arms in a cake for maximum hilarity, and it would be completely normal as if everyone did that sort of thing everyday and she wasn’t special, like at all. In a similar manner, she handles bad news or surprising ones really calmly, but really, if you lived in her world, everything is normal. She has a really, really loose grip of reality, as if she’s not even trying at all. Heck, even her own personal landmines and priorities are weird. She can travel to a new universe, create paradox clones of everyone else and die, but the only thing that can set her off is cake. Cake. Out of all the goddamn things, cake. Oh, and if you leave her alone, she usually just… spaces off. She is basically the derp incarnate.
Her innocent unpredictability, plus her tendency to act before she thinks, can give people the impression that she’s stupid. Perhaps she is, perhaps she’s not, but no one can really be certain because she’s not used to doing the thinking most of the time. That would be Ross’ job. In fact, she’s not used to thinking in general. I’m going to go with the theory that she’s actually really brilliant beneath the 413 layers of stupid she’s projecting because she really does have her random genius moments like with the punch card alchemy and the way she can psychoanalyze people without even trying. Brilliant, but her brain is rotting because it’s severely underused (and during the instances it is used, it’s usually just to appreciate a movie - she can be really eloquent and thorough when describing her favourite cinematic piece). Plus, all the other three kids are smart. It would be really weird if she was the odd one out.
To end this long section regarding her weirdness, there is this: while she’s accommodating and sweet most of the time, there are times that when you’re caught off-guard, you can notice that there are some things about the way she thinks that are really unnerving though it’s not like she knows that.
Third, she’s extremely sociable and sweet. She’s definitely one of the most honest and kind person anyone would ever meet. She’s simple-minded and innocent, and she’s a fantastic friend. Some of the most difficult, psychopathic, ornery trolls, and Dana and Ross, have grown to like her, and these people are hard to get close to emotionally. There’s just something so charming about her that can make people trust her in an instant. She’s not all compliments and tooth-rotting love though; she loves teasing people a lot because of her trickster tendencies, though she usually carefully measures how far she can go. To put it simply, she’s adorkable.
Last, but not least, she’s strong. She’s really strong, both physically and mentally. Most of the time, she’s harmless and benign, but when she finds something to be determined about, she becomes really, unusually stubborn where no one can stop her.
Something utterly invisible to the passer-by is her incredibly low self-esteem. She thinks she’s stupid, and completely undeserving of everything good bestowed upon her like her dad’s love and her super wonderful friends. She doesn’t want to think this way, but she can’t really help it.
Abilities and Weaknesses:
+ God Tiers. Due to some simultaneously brilliant and stupid circumstances, Joan achieved something her fellow players didn’t, and that’s the god tiers. She has actual, magical godlike wind powers now. They’ll be dampened for this setting of course. She won’t be able to create giant tornadoes that can drill through several layers of a planet, but she can make tiny ones that can do a lot of damage.
+ Egbert Mangrit. Ridiculous strength runs in the family! Her dad can lift vaults like they were nothing. She can duel wield two, huge hammers with ease.
+/- Low Freak Out Meter. The only things that can faze her at this point are her friends getting hurt, and pastry. I don’t know if this is a good ability or a weakness, but it is most certainly a thing. She is listed under the trope “Polyanna” in TVTropes for a reason.
+/- Naiveté. Joan is definitely way too trusting. This makes her really easy to manipulate, but it’s because of her particular naiveté that makes people want to protect her. Sometimes having a puppy’s charm has its advantages.
- Spacy attitude. Joan is usually really out of “it”, like she’s never been formally introduced to “it”. She is stuck in a state of perpetual fiction lag that she doesn’t really want to break free from. No situation is too weird for a movie reference!
- Stubbornness. Joan can be really, really stubborn when she wants to be. Usually, she’s accommodating and obedient, but there are just some things she won’t stand for.
- Immaturity. Joan acts like a regular thirteen year old, still yet to mature. She is getting there, but she still needs a lot of development.
- Peanuts. She's allergic to peanuts! Dealing with that is not fun at all.
Inventory:
She has a pretty huge inventory because she’s using her dad’s wallet modus now. She, personally, has:
- Fear no anvil, a huge hammer that can stop time for a few seconds. It is her current weapon.
- Several different outfits (DEFAULT outfit, SOLITAIRE dress, JUNIOR ECTOBIOLOGIST’s lab suit, VRISKA outfit and GOD TIERS outfit)
- A million boondollars.
In her dad’s wallet are:
- One ton of shaving cream. Her dad is nothing but prepared.
- A spare car.
- An assortment of shoes, hats and ties.
- Several issues of The Serious Jester.
- Ticket stubs to Cirque du Soleil.
- A briefcase full of fatherly documents.
- Photographs (embarrassing baby ones and of other people her dad looks up to).
- A laptop computer.
- Ten tons of pipe tobacco.
- A lighter.
I’m sorry her dad’s ridiculous. If this is too much, let’s remove the contents of the wallet minus the lighter, the photographs and the laptop computer.
Appearance: Joan is a lanky teenage girl with square glasses, short hair and an obvious overbite. She is pretty average looking, cute at best. The only thing that stands out in her appearance is her impossibly blue eyes.
Age: 13 years old
OC/AU Justification ;
If AU, How is Your Version Different From Canon, and How Will That Come Across?
Joan isn’t just John Egbert with tits. She’s him, but a girl, and that’s really more complicated than it sounds.
Basically, what I did was take John Egbert’s base personality (flighty, spacey, heroic and nerdy) as a clean slate, turn it into female and apply the factors that can affect one’s personality growing up i.e. the environment, gender expectations and the media. It’s basically like copying a picture but with different colors - it’s the same picture, but not exactly, and that’s probably how Alternate Universe characters are supposed to be.
If we’re going to compare John and Joan, then the major differences between them are their interests. John likes Computer Programming, and Joan likes Web Design, but they’re both notoriously bad at it. John likes Hilariously Bad Movies leaning towards action, and Joan likes Hilariously Bad Movies leaning towards romance. They both like films about the Apocalypse, Math, Paranormal Lore, anime, magic tricks and pranks, though Joan likes magic tricks more than John and John likes pranks more than Joan. She also has completely different interests from John, like acting, cooking and shoujo manga. Oh, and she has a humongous crushes on Nicholas Cage and Matthew McConaughey.
There are subtle contrasts in personality as well. One major aspect that affected her growth which differed from John is the fact there were no other women in the household, meaning she was the Alpha Female. She tried to live up to her responsibilities so she's comparatively more responsible than John, even going out of her way to take care of her dad and ultimately forging a better relationship with him. For example, when she was younger, she actually pretended to be the “mom” of the household several times, and she refers to him as "daddy" when she's way too happy or upset. Not to say she's a complete daddy's girl. Sometimes she is, sometimes she wants him to leave her alone because he's a bit crazy. All this nurturing makes her somewhat sweeter, amicable and more tactful than John.
Another effect of having no other females to model herself after is how she's more boyish than girlish. Joan is a legit tomboy, having no idea what girls should be. Her dad avoided the subject, telling her she’s special in her own way, so she got the idea of "ideal females" from movies in the 90's and we all know what girls there were like. For the longest time, she was under the impression that in order to become a perfect woman, you must be beautiful and ONLY beautiful. Intelligence didn't matter, and talent was wasted on her gender, so since she had neither smarts nor looks, she assumed she was probably a shitty fucking girl. This contributed to her really shitty self-esteem. However, upon meeting and befriending Strider, her only girl best friend who was incredibly awesome as fuck, she started easing into the idea of being a tomboy that also occasionally liked cute things and giving no shits. Old beliefs die hard, though, so this still bothers her sometimes but that kind of defeats the words “giving no shits”.
Despite her aforementioned femininity and the crises that came along with it, she's not all frilly skirts and teddy bears. She’s not a delicate, fragile fucking flower. She’s anything but fragile. She still retains her mental and physical strengths - the heroic characteristics that make John, John. It wouldn't be right if she didn't. But unlike John, she's slowly achieving that baffling, perfect blend of girly, strong and heroic. She's a heroine and a pretty damn good one at that. Well, actually, at this point, she's a magical girl.
TL;DR SHE IS JOHN BUT NOT.
Samples ;
Log Sample:
Joan awoke in the skies of Skaia, the battlefield, with no idea how she got there. Her last recollection before arriving in this vibrant, checkered planet was the promise of achieving the god tiers. True enough, she felt a strange connection with the wind around her now, as if she was reconciled with a missing body part. It was a part of her now. It didn’t make sense, but she stopped rationalizing the moment she entered the Medium so it doesn’t matter anymore.
In front of her appeared a big, puffy cloud displaying a live image. The fireflies where moving so it was a sort of a cloud television, she assumed. A cloulevision. A CV. The feed it projected was a horrible one which showed her dead body impaled by a sword. It was truly horrifying. She felt like she needed to offer a sad gesture for it. Perhaps she should shed some tears, or at least attempt to look sad. Alas, the overwhelming feeling of betr-
There was a cloud next to the one she was staring at, projecting an image of two, squishy… somethings. She had no idea what they were. They were slimy and they writhed against each other for minutes. Perhaps they were two cephalopods locked in a perpetual mating ritual? She did not know.
What she knew was she spent the last two hours staring at it, and that was a big no-no. She mentally slapped herself and descended onto the ground beneath her. She started scouting the area for locals, perhaps some anthromorphic fauna programmed by the game to assist her. She found a handsome, black carapace covered in her bed sheet. He seemed like a nice wizardly vassal. Good enough!
“Hey, can you show me around? I’ve heard about this place but I really don’t know where I should go,” Joan said. The carapace creature merely blinked at her. He didn’t try to kill her or anything.
It was then she decided they should be friends and explore this world together.
Network Sample:
[Text]
wow!
i really need to stop randomly teleporting to places.
one minute i was in lowas, and then skaia, and THEN this place.
i bet my dad’s wallet had something to do with this, what with its freaky spacewarping abilities.
jk i don’t really think that, hehehe.
anyway, is there anybody i know here? D:
ross? jake? strider? ...daddy?
it would totally suck if i were here alone.
Your Nickname: Poptart
OOC Journal: princesscurls
Under 18? Yes. :( 17.
Email/IM: [e-mail] kuroupouri@yahoo.com ; [AIM] Kuroupouri
Characters Played at Singularity: N/A
Character Information ;
Name: Joan Egbert (John Egbert)
Name of Canon: Homestuck
Canon/AU/Other Game CR: AU
Reference: John | Homestuck
Canon Point: I’m taking her after she ascends to the god tiers and finds her dad’s wallet.
Setting:
In this AU, the trolls, guardians (with the exception of Joan's dad) and kids are just the opposite gender, so I would be citing things in, well, in their AUified conditions meaning that I'd be dropping she's and her's where he's and his' should be because I have no idea what to do.
Earth
The four kids that play Sburb come from the Planet Earth, our own homeplanet but with a few adjustments. Basically, you take Earth from 2009 with its Ironman, Con Air, Snoop Dogg and H.P. Lovecraft, and you tweak it a little bit so real life could be just like a video game.
Everyone has a Sylladex, which is a card-based inventory. In order to put (or, “captchalogue”) items in one’s Sylladex, that would require a Fetch Modus. A Fetch Modus is the setting a person uses to retrieve their items; for example, Joan uses the Queustack Array that helps her pick any item she wants as long as they’re in the bottom or top cards. If a person happens to put an item over a card that’s already containing a different one, i.e. captchalogueing a bunny on a card that already has a book in it, the book would fling off the inventory. There’s usually a size limit to what you can put in a Sylladex (you can’t captchalogue a doll bigger than you) with the exemption of Dad’s wallet.
A Strife Specibus is a special card that a person uses for battle. People can have as many weapons as they want as long as they have a decent Strife Portfolio and the right cards. Before anyone can use a weapon, however, they have to allocate it into the -kind Abastrus; for example, Strider wants to use a shitty sword as his weapon, so he allocates it a sword to swordkind. Yes, they can’t just pick up a club and use it to hit people. They need to allocate it first.
Sburb Beta
Of course, every story has its premise. Resident Evil is about a chick with high heels that needs to grab a gun and start shooting zombies son and Fallout 3, is about creating a character to explore post-Apocalyptic America. Homestuck is about a kid and his (or in this instance, her) friends and they play a game.
…But that’s like saying Naruto is about a kid that wants to be a ninja; it’s true, but it doesn’t really cover up most of it. Homestuck’s full of so many plot shit and game shit and weird time shit that it’s easy to lose track of what’s happening. Understandable, because the latest word count Hussie did reveal it’s over 300,000 words right now.
Sburb is a sandbox-type of game resembling the Sims in the sense you can control the environment with a cursor, except it takes place in the real world.
Players
Upon receiving the game, the player would notice there are two discs to use: The Server and The Client discs. Whoever it is needs a partner to be able to play.
The Server Player
The Server Player is the one with the cursor that manipulates the environment. His goal is to assist The Client to enter The Medium (more on that later). The Server is given a menu of controls to do this; he can copy items, delete them, and set up the things The Client has to use as long as he has enough building grist, which is the compensation for building things. It would be way too easy if everything was free, after all. Anyway, while The Server has access to view the Client’s environment, his span of control is limited. He can’t control anything past The Client’s lawn or anything where The Client has never been i.e. The Client has never been to her dad’s room, so the view to that room is obscured.
Ross Lalonde is Joan’s Server Player, and Joan is Jake Harley’s Server Player.
The Client Player
The Client Player is the player that needs to get into The Medium. Sburb doesn’t have any instructions on how to do that, so no one really has any idea on what to do with the game other than the shit people wrote on GameFAQs before they mysteriously disappeared. As such, many have failed and met their grim, meteor-related deaths. Joan, with the help of Ross, is the first human that figured out how to enter the game.
To enter the game, they need to prototype the kernelsprite with one or two items to complete their assigned task. Each kid gets a task to overcome a certain area they’re having difficulty in, to make sure they’re worthy of their titles. For Joan, she had to bite the Cruxite Apple to symbolize loss of innocence. She succeeds, and enters the Medium.
Which brings us to…
The Incipisphere
This is the universe where the real game takes place. It’s in a dimension completely different from ours, meant only to house the players of the game. “House the players of the game” because when a player enters The Medium, he brings his house along with him? Get it? Yeah, it’s not funny.
Skaia
Skaia is the realm of unlimited imagination and where dreams come true. The armies of Light and Darkness duel here, where they’re stuck in a perpetual, perfect stalemate but Light is always destined to lose. With each prototyping of the kernelsprite, the battle only grows more intense, and Skaia evolves. Skaia has to reach its last form for the players to create a new universe and claim the prize.
Prospit and Derse
Prospit is The Kingdom of Light; it’s the closest planet the orbits around Skaia, and its goal is to protect it from Derse. Derse is The Kingdom of Darkness; it’s the planet furthest from Skaia, tucked behind an asteroid belt called The Veil, and its goal is to defeat Prospit. Their architectures are similar with the differences being:
- Colors: Prospit is gold; Derse is violet.
- Ambiance: Prospit is sunny; Derse is dark.
- Citizens: Prospit carapaces are white-skinned; Derse carapaces are black-skinned.
- Method of Prognostication: Prospit has clouds that foretell the future; Derse has horrorterrors that whisper creepy things to you.
These are both dream worlds. If someone wants to go to one of them, that person has to wake up as their dreamselves… or teleport there if they have space warping abilities because WHY THE HELL NOT.
The Medium
These are the planets that each player would end up in. This is where most of the adventuring goes. Each player has their own, unique planet design, mythological roles, consorts and denizens. For a player to reach Skaia, they must enter through all The Seven Gates, defeat their denizens, rescue their consorts and defeat The Black King and Black Queen. The planets would be:
Egbert = The Land of Wind and Shade
Lalonde = The Land of Light and Rain
Strider = The Land of Heat and Clockwork
Harley = The Land of Frost and Frogs
Consorts are the assigned citizens of each planet. They’re usually very stupid, but they drop hints about the player’s quest… which is kind of useless because along with helping you fight imps (the monsters the player defeats to earn grist), the kernelsprite also acts as a sort of spirit guide.
Purpose
At the beginning of the game, no one really knows the point of Sburb but during the course of it, they’ll find out why it exists. They’ll find out Sburb’s purpose isn’t that complicated, not really! It exists just to:
CREATE A NEW UNIVERSE
In order to do that, there is also the totally minor and insignificant detail that:
IN ORDER TO CREATE THIS NEW UNIVERSE, THEY HAVE TO DESTROY THEIR OLD ONE
/human emotion called sarcasm
So yeah, it’s kind of a hard punch to the balls if the player wanted to keep his home planet but that’s better than dying in the meteor shower at least. The prize for winning the game is a universe made for them to rule in whatever way they please.
AU Things
I will be listing details about her adventure. Some of them are similar to what John experienced, but others would be different:
Her mythological role is The Witch of Breath; she gained ALL OF THE LEVELS and she’s already at god tiers. As mentioned before, her planet is The Land of Wind and Shade. Her kernelsprite is Grandpasprite; she got him by fusing her maimed harlequin doll with her deceased, grandfather’s ashes. Her patron troll is still Serket.
Personality:
The first thing anyone would notice - or rather, not notice at all - about Joan is that she’s very, very plain. And that’s pretty true for the most part. She grew up in a neighbourhood in Washington with a really normal, overcompensating, single father, inside a house identical to the other houses around it. She’s not a protégée like Jake, nor is she cool like Dana; she’s just an average girl with average looks and smarts.
The second thing anyone would notice about her is that there’s a shit ton of other things to notice about her.
First, she’s extremely nerdy. She has a wide variety of interests. She loves hilariously bad movies, particularly ones of the romantic genre or ones about the impending Apocalypse, Paranormal lore, Math, magic tricks, the internet, anime, acting and pranks. She’s known to ramble about her interests when she finds the opportunity to. She’s also quite passionate about Web designing, but she’s notoriously bad at art and html in general. Her web sites often look like the ones you’d see on geocities, the one with the expired backgrounds, glittery .gifs and blinding comic sans. Even her appearance is a dead giveaway of her nerdiness; she has square glasses and teeth that have never seen an orthodontist.
Second, she’s weird and unpredictable. Did I already say she’s weird? Because she is. She has the most unconventional thinking patterns. They’re simple and innocent, just like a little kid’s. And just like a little kid, she deals with stimuli in really unique ways. For example, she can stuff two pair of arms in a cake for maximum hilarity, and it would be completely normal as if everyone did that sort of thing everyday and she wasn’t special, like at all. In a similar manner, she handles bad news or surprising ones really calmly, but really, if you lived in her world, everything is normal. She has a really, really loose grip of reality, as if she’s not even trying at all. Heck, even her own personal landmines and priorities are weird. She can travel to a new universe, create paradox clones of everyone else and die, but the only thing that can set her off is cake. Cake. Out of all the goddamn things, cake. Oh, and if you leave her alone, she usually just… spaces off. She is basically the derp incarnate.
Her innocent unpredictability, plus her tendency to act before she thinks, can give people the impression that she’s stupid. Perhaps she is, perhaps she’s not, but no one can really be certain because she’s not used to doing the thinking most of the time. That would be Ross’ job. In fact, she’s not used to thinking in general. I’m going to go with the theory that she’s actually really brilliant beneath the 413 layers of stupid she’s projecting because she really does have her random genius moments like with the punch card alchemy and the way she can psychoanalyze people without even trying. Brilliant, but her brain is rotting because it’s severely underused (and during the instances it is used, it’s usually just to appreciate a movie - she can be really eloquent and thorough when describing her favourite cinematic piece). Plus, all the other three kids are smart. It would be really weird if she was the odd one out.
To end this long section regarding her weirdness, there is this: while she’s accommodating and sweet most of the time, there are times that when you’re caught off-guard, you can notice that there are some things about the way she thinks that are really unnerving though it’s not like she knows that.
Third, she’s extremely sociable and sweet. She’s definitely one of the most honest and kind person anyone would ever meet. She’s simple-minded and innocent, and she’s a fantastic friend. Some of the most difficult, psychopathic, ornery trolls, and Dana and Ross, have grown to like her, and these people are hard to get close to emotionally. There’s just something so charming about her that can make people trust her in an instant. She’s not all compliments and tooth-rotting love though; she loves teasing people a lot because of her trickster tendencies, though she usually carefully measures how far she can go. To put it simply, she’s adorkable.
Last, but not least, she’s strong. She’s really strong, both physically and mentally. Most of the time, she’s harmless and benign, but when she finds something to be determined about, she becomes really, unusually stubborn where no one can stop her.
Something utterly invisible to the passer-by is her incredibly low self-esteem. She thinks she’s stupid, and completely undeserving of everything good bestowed upon her like her dad’s love and her super wonderful friends. She doesn’t want to think this way, but she can’t really help it.
Abilities and Weaknesses:
+ God Tiers. Due to some simultaneously brilliant and stupid circumstances, Joan achieved something her fellow players didn’t, and that’s the god tiers. She has actual, magical godlike wind powers now. They’ll be dampened for this setting of course. She won’t be able to create giant tornadoes that can drill through several layers of a planet, but she can make tiny ones that can do a lot of damage.
+ Egbert Mangrit. Ridiculous strength runs in the family! Her dad can lift vaults like they were nothing. She can duel wield two, huge hammers with ease.
+/- Low Freak Out Meter. The only things that can faze her at this point are her friends getting hurt, and pastry. I don’t know if this is a good ability or a weakness, but it is most certainly a thing. She is listed under the trope “Polyanna” in TVTropes for a reason.
+/- Naiveté. Joan is definitely way too trusting. This makes her really easy to manipulate, but it’s because of her particular naiveté that makes people want to protect her. Sometimes having a puppy’s charm has its advantages.
- Spacy attitude. Joan is usually really out of “it”, like she’s never been formally introduced to “it”. She is stuck in a state of perpetual fiction lag that she doesn’t really want to break free from. No situation is too weird for a movie reference!
- Stubbornness. Joan can be really, really stubborn when she wants to be. Usually, she’s accommodating and obedient, but there are just some things she won’t stand for.
- Immaturity. Joan acts like a regular thirteen year old, still yet to mature. She is getting there, but she still needs a lot of development.
- Peanuts. She's allergic to peanuts! Dealing with that is not fun at all.
Inventory:
She has a pretty huge inventory because she’s using her dad’s wallet modus now. She, personally, has:
- Fear no anvil, a huge hammer that can stop time for a few seconds. It is her current weapon.
- Several different outfits (DEFAULT outfit, SOLITAIRE dress, JUNIOR ECTOBIOLOGIST’s lab suit, VRISKA outfit and GOD TIERS outfit)
- A million boondollars.
In her dad’s wallet are:
- One ton of shaving cream. Her dad is nothing but prepared.
- A spare car.
- An assortment of shoes, hats and ties.
- Several issues of The Serious Jester.
- Ticket stubs to Cirque du Soleil.
- A briefcase full of fatherly documents.
- Photographs (embarrassing baby ones and of other people her dad looks up to).
- A laptop computer.
- Ten tons of pipe tobacco.
- A lighter.
I’m sorry her dad’s ridiculous. If this is too much, let’s remove the contents of the wallet minus the lighter, the photographs and the laptop computer.
Appearance: Joan is a lanky teenage girl with square glasses, short hair and an obvious overbite. She is pretty average looking, cute at best. The only thing that stands out in her appearance is her impossibly blue eyes.
Age: 13 years old
OC/AU Justification ;
If AU, How is Your Version Different From Canon, and How Will That Come Across?
Joan isn’t just John Egbert with tits. She’s him, but a girl, and that’s really more complicated than it sounds.
Basically, what I did was take John Egbert’s base personality (flighty, spacey, heroic and nerdy) as a clean slate, turn it into female and apply the factors that can affect one’s personality growing up i.e. the environment, gender expectations and the media. It’s basically like copying a picture but with different colors - it’s the same picture, but not exactly, and that’s probably how Alternate Universe characters are supposed to be.
If we’re going to compare John and Joan, then the major differences between them are their interests. John likes Computer Programming, and Joan likes Web Design, but they’re both notoriously bad at it. John likes Hilariously Bad Movies leaning towards action, and Joan likes Hilariously Bad Movies leaning towards romance. They both like films about the Apocalypse, Math, Paranormal Lore, anime, magic tricks and pranks, though Joan likes magic tricks more than John and John likes pranks more than Joan. She also has completely different interests from John, like acting, cooking and shoujo manga. Oh, and she has a humongous crushes on Nicholas Cage and Matthew McConaughey.
There are subtle contrasts in personality as well. One major aspect that affected her growth which differed from John is the fact there were no other women in the household, meaning she was the Alpha Female. She tried to live up to her responsibilities so she's comparatively more responsible than John, even going out of her way to take care of her dad and ultimately forging a better relationship with him. For example, when she was younger, she actually pretended to be the “mom” of the household several times, and she refers to him as "daddy" when she's way too happy or upset. Not to say she's a complete daddy's girl. Sometimes she is, sometimes she wants him to leave her alone because he's a bit crazy. All this nurturing makes her somewhat sweeter, amicable and more tactful than John.
Another effect of having no other females to model herself after is how she's more boyish than girlish. Joan is a legit tomboy, having no idea what girls should be. Her dad avoided the subject, telling her she’s special in her own way, so she got the idea of "ideal females" from movies in the 90's and we all know what girls there were like. For the longest time, she was under the impression that in order to become a perfect woman, you must be beautiful and ONLY beautiful. Intelligence didn't matter, and talent was wasted on her gender, so since she had neither smarts nor looks, she assumed she was probably a shitty fucking girl. This contributed to her really shitty self-esteem. However, upon meeting and befriending Strider, her only girl best friend who was incredibly awesome as fuck, she started easing into the idea of being a tomboy that also occasionally liked cute things and giving no shits. Old beliefs die hard, though, so this still bothers her sometimes but that kind of defeats the words “giving no shits”.
Despite her aforementioned femininity and the crises that came along with it, she's not all frilly skirts and teddy bears. She’s not a delicate, fragile fucking flower. She’s anything but fragile. She still retains her mental and physical strengths - the heroic characteristics that make John, John. It wouldn't be right if she didn't. But unlike John, she's slowly achieving that baffling, perfect blend of girly, strong and heroic. She's a heroine and a pretty damn good one at that. Well, actually, at this point, she's a magical girl.
TL;DR SHE IS JOHN BUT NOT.
Samples ;
Log Sample:
Joan awoke in the skies of Skaia, the battlefield, with no idea how she got there. Her last recollection before arriving in this vibrant, checkered planet was the promise of achieving the god tiers. True enough, she felt a strange connection with the wind around her now, as if she was reconciled with a missing body part. It was a part of her now. It didn’t make sense, but she stopped rationalizing the moment she entered the Medium so it doesn’t matter anymore.
In front of her appeared a big, puffy cloud displaying a live image. The fireflies where moving so it was a sort of a cloud television, she assumed. A cloulevision. A CV. The feed it projected was a horrible one which showed her dead body impaled by a sword. It was truly horrifying. She felt like she needed to offer a sad gesture for it. Perhaps she should shed some tears, or at least attempt to look sad. Alas, the overwhelming feeling of betr-
There was a cloud next to the one she was staring at, projecting an image of two, squishy… somethings. She had no idea what they were. They were slimy and they writhed against each other for minutes. Perhaps they were two cephalopods locked in a perpetual mating ritual? She did not know.
What she knew was she spent the last two hours staring at it, and that was a big no-no. She mentally slapped herself and descended onto the ground beneath her. She started scouting the area for locals, perhaps some anthromorphic fauna programmed by the game to assist her. She found a handsome, black carapace covered in her bed sheet. He seemed like a nice wizardly vassal. Good enough!
“Hey, can you show me around? I’ve heard about this place but I really don’t know where I should go,” Joan said. The carapace creature merely blinked at her. He didn’t try to kill her or anything.
It was then she decided they should be friends and explore this world together.
Network Sample:
[Text]
wow!
i really need to stop randomly teleporting to places.
one minute i was in lowas, and then skaia, and THEN this place.
i bet my dad’s wallet had something to do with this, what with its freaky spacewarping abilities.
jk i don’t really think that, hehehe.
anyway, is there anybody i know here? D:
ross? jake? strider? ...daddy?
it would totally suck if i were here alone.