(no subject)
Have you ever got to that spot in your life when you say fuck it, what ever happens i'll deal with it, whatever i do because of it is my fault but i just don't fucking care anymore. Then like the next thing that normally happens is that the little band holding everything together snaps..... and when that happens you know that everything around you has fallen and everyone is gone.
I believe i'm at this point in my life, the breaking egde, if you will. I can really see it happening, and to tell the truth it scares the shit out of me. I don't need this too happen again, not now after everything is just starting to become good, the 180 of life is coming my way. But then at other times, it really seems like the 180 is being pushed my way, as if some force wants me too go off my head and snap, and you would be surprized at some of the truth behind that. Lets says if it does happen that way i will not be the only one to blame.........
I have been thinking alot lately about just packing up one day, getting on a train and going back home to Nowra, i mean just because i can't walk around without watching my back doesn't mean i like the place any less,, it's always going to be home for me.
I could do it tomorrow too, i have the money for it, but there is a big part of me that wants to stay here, to try and ride things out and also try really hard to control my anger.
The only question left is when the band will break....or be cut, if you know what i mean.
I believe i'm at this point in my life, the breaking egde, if you will. I can really see it happening, and to tell the truth it scares the shit out of me. I don't need this too happen again, not now after everything is just starting to become good, the 180 of life is coming my way. But then at other times, it really seems like the 180 is being pushed my way, as if some force wants me too go off my head and snap, and you would be surprized at some of the truth behind that. Lets says if it does happen that way i will not be the only one to blame.........
I have been thinking alot lately about just packing up one day, getting on a train and going back home to Nowra, i mean just because i can't walk around without watching my back doesn't mean i like the place any less,, it's always going to be home for me.
I could do it tomorrow too, i have the money for it, but there is a big part of me that wants to stay here, to try and ride things out and also try really hard to control my anger.
The only question left is when the band will break....or be cut, if you know what i mean.