(no subject)

[ghostxofxlies]

When I'm hysterical and I can make this much sense (which is rare) it just sounds so right. When I'm post-hysterics it makes me cringe. Oh man.


I needed to know that you didn't hate me
But I was too scared of the answer to ask.
I stayed inside my head with a picture of you,
Hating my guts.

If I had a million chances, I couldn't say
What I wanted to say to you.
My Mum hates me because I'm not mature
I couldn't know what she's been through.

I think I do. I've been in love, with
Someone who could not love me back.
If she knew the 'someone';
She'd hate me even more.

I think sometimes she keeps herself sad. Like I used to.
Because she never shows it around others,
But waits until we're alone to lay it all out
On me - and I want out.

I'm already crying, I'm already dying
Her sadness is just another cancer to break me down.
I miss my dad - and I hate him
And love him, and I don't understand it.

And she's showering me with hate and guilt
And sadness, and I'm not coping, and I don't think they care.
Like I'll die of this sadness
And I know that I'm pushing everyone I love away
With my pathetic sob story.

I've never felt this low before
And I don't know what I've done wrong to you
But I'd do anything to take it back
I'm helpless and alone.

Because loving you when we were friends
Was hard enough, but was still the best.
Loving you when we're not,
Is something I can't take.

I have thousands of tears
That I can't stop falling -
I'm all welled up inside.
I don't know what it's like to live
When I feel so dead inside.

I don't want to die
But I don't know what to do.
Just say we're still friends,
Say things are alright.