meh.

[ghostsofnothing]

it's 7:48 am and the sun is just now fully making an appearance in the world. i've got that jittery queasy feeling of too much coffee and too many cigarettes and too little sleep and no food. an hour ago i was standing in tallahassee regional airport trying not to cry in front of airport security as they gave me disapproving looks for loitering in front of the checkpoint while the love of my life disappeared into the terminal. it's only four days, i know, but it's the first time we've really been apart since we met and i know a lot of me being upset revolves around the last time i sent my boyfriend across the country and he didn't come back. i know it's not the same thing. but the things you know and the things you feel are never entirely the same. at some point today i'm going to have to get my shit together and go into work and deal with all the bullshit there like everything's okay. and it is, really, i guess. i just don't know what to do without him here.

so now i suppose i ought to take herself out for a walk and try to get more than two hours sleep so i don't pass out before tonight's over with.