even my apathy is half-assed
the day i make a bold move and don't wind up second-guessing myself, i...i don't even know. i can't even imagine what that would feel like and what would come from it.
but right now, i'm guessing it would feel pretty fucking wonderful.
only i could manage to do something in an attempt to ease my head and have it result in me feeling so much worse than i did in the first place. damn.
we should have kept it innocent. we should have fucking kept it innocent.
i'm going into work again tomorrow, 'cause i can't abuse the fact that i can make my own schedule. also, money, i need that. spending hours upon hours surveying people about the upcoming elections will keep my mind busy. this means i have to force myself to get out of bed before 5pm, which is becoming increasingly difficult to manage. i need to pull my shit together, nothing that is going on right now should be enough to throw me back into this state.
i wish i could sleep, because i am so fucking bored. and bored with thinking. blahblah.
but right now, i'm guessing it would feel pretty fucking wonderful.
only i could manage to do something in an attempt to ease my head and have it result in me feeling so much worse than i did in the first place. damn.
we should have kept it innocent. we should have fucking kept it innocent.
i'm going into work again tomorrow, 'cause i can't abuse the fact that i can make my own schedule. also, money, i need that. spending hours upon hours surveying people about the upcoming elections will keep my mind busy. this means i have to force myself to get out of bed before 5pm, which is becoming increasingly difficult to manage. i need to pull my shit together, nothing that is going on right now should be enough to throw me back into this state.
i wish i could sleep, because i am so fucking bored. and bored with thinking. blahblah.