On the river of life.
Have you ever had that feeling, while floating down the river of life, friends who you spent your warmest memories with, people that you were so close with, that they knew more about you than you know about yourself, it's just the feeling, that as you slowly floated down side by side, you grow further apart, until they're completely gone.
I'm not really sure what to say, maybe I've just started feeling alittle more isolated lately. I always spent a day or two a week with my Grandmother, she's awesome, even if it was something as simple as spending an hour or two watching the Price is Right, and eating lunch together, I really enjoyed it more than I thought at the time. She died a week ago today, and for the first time, I guess, I've sorta realized how much something so simple was important to me. Over the years I've never had many really close friends, maybe.. 3-4 tops. Yes, I've had lots of normal friends, but not many that really knew me, and only now is it really starting to bother me.
The only really good friends I've had seem to have disappeared out of my life, even if they were people I met in another world, they meant both worlds to me. And, the years I spent with them I think I never really appreciated enough, Two of them are gone completely out of my life, I don't even know how to get a hold of them anymore.. Even if it's just to say hello. The only other friend from that world, I know she'd be pissed to hear me say it, but we weren't as close as I was to the other two, but I still feel there's something there, I still talk to her from time to time, but it's very rarely.
I've only really had one other friend outside that place, and she's lost to me too, I dunno what I do wrong, but it's gotta be something. I mean, sure, I have tons of friends in FFXI, they make me smile, and laugh, I got a great bunch of people I hang out with in real life too, and I enjoy the time, but nothing really makes me as happy as the way I used to be, I'm not sure anymore of what I should do with myself. ~shrugs~ I've just never really been good at understanding myself, let alone others.
I don't really know if anyone even reads this anymore, so if anything, it's more for myself.
I'm not really sure what to say, maybe I've just started feeling alittle more isolated lately. I always spent a day or two a week with my Grandmother, she's awesome, even if it was something as simple as spending an hour or two watching the Price is Right, and eating lunch together, I really enjoyed it more than I thought at the time. She died a week ago today, and for the first time, I guess, I've sorta realized how much something so simple was important to me. Over the years I've never had many really close friends, maybe.. 3-4 tops. Yes, I've had lots of normal friends, but not many that really knew me, and only now is it really starting to bother me.
The only really good friends I've had seem to have disappeared out of my life, even if they were people I met in another world, they meant both worlds to me. And, the years I spent with them I think I never really appreciated enough, Two of them are gone completely out of my life, I don't even know how to get a hold of them anymore.. Even if it's just to say hello. The only other friend from that world, I know she'd be pissed to hear me say it, but we weren't as close as I was to the other two, but I still feel there's something there, I still talk to her from time to time, but it's very rarely.
I've only really had one other friend outside that place, and she's lost to me too, I dunno what I do wrong, but it's gotta be something. I mean, sure, I have tons of friends in FFXI, they make me smile, and laugh, I got a great bunch of people I hang out with in real life too, and I enjoy the time, but nothing really makes me as happy as the way I used to be, I'm not sure anymore of what I should do with myself. ~shrugs~ I've just never really been good at understanding myself, let alone others.
I don't really know if anyone even reads this anymore, so if anything, it's more for myself.