Lost Count
I don't even know who uses LJ anymore, or how many friends I even have on here, but ima write somethin anyways. I'll keep it short. Life sucks. Today, life really sucked. I haven't been hit this hard in like... Uh well i'm sure you all know when. Yea, only this time, I just can barely take the hit... like I stumbled a bit, and dropped whatever I was holding. Which happened to be bio. I dropped bio because I had a rough day and couldn't concentrate on the most fucked up lab in the world. For 1 hour I starred at moss on a petri dish in a class of about 5 other people rummaging around mumbling to themselves. I starred at the moss until I didn't know what it was anymore and then felt dizzy. I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and stepped outside to bite my sandwich, and read pleasant (sarcasm) text messages on my phone in response to me wanting to escape a depressing relationship. I'm not even in a relationship. If it was a facebook status I would have been "it's complicated" now it's "single" and all my energy is drained from trying to keep her...happy... motivated... standing... alive... Then I go to school and write a quiz first thing. I studied the wrong chapter. So I know all the info about what we're about to learn, but not the quiz. Then I pulled out a cup of mold I found at the back of my fridge the other day, and cultivate it on 6 different petri dishes at different concentrations for incubation. My mom would have kept it. The teacher told me to use the fume hood (something that looks like you handle radioactive materials in) because the mold smells so bad. I then get 4 midterms from this week back. Let's just say there was a day when I did better. A fuck of a lot better. I've never seen so many X's in my life. One of the questions on one of the midterms was: On this slide, the chlorophyta colony shown is a _______. I wrote "beautiful one" because that's what it said in the notes, but I couldn't remember the name of the genus... because I had to memorize about 500 of them in about 12 hours of non-stop studying, 100 neurotransmitters, and the evolutionary problems when a chimpanzee gets zapped with interstellar rays that increase the size of his canines. I was so tired I thought it meant the size of his canine... dogs... I was so tired, I thought + meant - when it came to staining cells, and I multiplied 100x10 and got 100. So today after I bit my sandwich, I said sorry to my group, walked over to the teacher and said "I can't do this" and she says "well what are you planning to do with this course" I said I actually only thought about this course because it directed me to med school." She said "you're honestly not med school material." I said "thank you for your advice" then I dropped it. That's ok. This was also supported by introduction to stress in my psych class, and how good it is to avoid it. I'll just look at it that way. Also i'll do better in all my other classes now. My teacher said "go be a radiologist or something, you can be a nurse, a paramedic or whatever, but you can't work and go to med school at the same time" What the fuck was I thinking? I actually thought I was going to do that. After becoming a radiologist or paramedic. Holy shit.
Oh yea. Forgot to mention what i've decided to do: I think my job is too feminine. I'm the only guy that works there, and well... I need to fill in that void, so i'm going to apply at a construction site after this semester, and take math + physics again, stay here through summer for school, (fuck montreal). The electronica festival was so good this year that I almost forgot how good montreal was. Seriously this city could be so much better... Part of me actually wants to take part in making it this place.
I walked to the liquor store, bought apple wine, and the cashier tells me a similar story. Only it's happening to her.
Now it's time to drink this, because it's what got me a better grade the last time I wrote an essay drunk.
Oh yea. Forgot to mention what i've decided to do: I think my job is too feminine. I'm the only guy that works there, and well... I need to fill in that void, so i'm going to apply at a construction site after this semester, and take math + physics again, stay here through summer for school, (fuck montreal). The electronica festival was so good this year that I almost forgot how good montreal was. Seriously this city could be so much better... Part of me actually wants to take part in making it this place.
I walked to the liquor store, bought apple wine, and the cashier tells me a similar story. Only it's happening to her.
Now it's time to drink this, because it's what got me a better grade the last time I wrote an essay drunk.