and so another tick off the clock
it's very hard for me to get out.
Stressful, shaking, rough. Anything can cause me to break down, into tears.
Parents told me that the tire on the car needed to be replaced but was ok for highway driving for a few more months.
I went to the docs today.
Cried and hid in my sketch book as usual.
Hid more.
Felt a tiny bit better towards doctor's visit end.
Went to pharmacy. hour and a half wait.
So went to game store. FLGS, very F, not very G anymore (they sell pocket dragons and games but the pocket dragons do better alas the games would to if he'd run more media driven stuff, but he's an older chap and just stuck in his ways.)
Was actually a bit energetic.
Went to pharmacy.
Come back monday we can't let you have refills for these two meds you just (THREE weeks prior) got some (nevermind a moved doctors appointment was the only reason it needed a refill to begin with)
Mood dropped.
On the way home tire blew.
I can't change it. Not because I don't know how, but because I can't, I just can't deal with it all, the whole mess was threatening to push me to suicide mode, so I called my step dad to help.
He gets mad, that I don't change it.
He doesn't fucking care I'm sick. Never had, NEVER fucking gave a shit for me.
I've known that but you'd think he'd at leas FAKE it a little.
So I sit in a car in 90--yes 90 degree weather (Fahrenheit) no AC (I could a turned it on but didn't feel like it) and cried for 40 minutes waiting.
I welcome death. When the tire blew, I should have turned the wheel across the divide, into a pole at 60mph. off the overpass.
But airbags and seatbelts would messed that up I assume.
So soon, I'll find another way. I give.
I can't win.
I try but I'm just not able to handle certian stress, and no one loves me, no one cares to help me, except my dog.
She deserves better than me.
Stressful, shaking, rough. Anything can cause me to break down, into tears.
Parents told me that the tire on the car needed to be replaced but was ok for highway driving for a few more months.
I went to the docs today.
Cried and hid in my sketch book as usual.
Hid more.
Felt a tiny bit better towards doctor's visit end.
Went to pharmacy. hour and a half wait.
So went to game store. FLGS, very F, not very G anymore (they sell pocket dragons and games but the pocket dragons do better alas the games would to if he'd run more media driven stuff, but he's an older chap and just stuck in his ways.)
Was actually a bit energetic.
Went to pharmacy.
Come back monday we can't let you have refills for these two meds you just (THREE weeks prior) got some (nevermind a moved doctors appointment was the only reason it needed a refill to begin with)
Mood dropped.
On the way home tire blew.
I can't change it. Not because I don't know how, but because I can't, I just can't deal with it all, the whole mess was threatening to push me to suicide mode, so I called my step dad to help.
He gets mad, that I don't change it.
He doesn't fucking care I'm sick. Never had, NEVER fucking gave a shit for me.
I've known that but you'd think he'd at leas FAKE it a little.
So I sit in a car in 90--yes 90 degree weather (Fahrenheit) no AC (I could a turned it on but didn't feel like it) and cried for 40 minutes waiting.
I welcome death. When the tire blew, I should have turned the wheel across the divide, into a pole at 60mph. off the overpass.
But airbags and seatbelts would messed that up I assume.
So soon, I'll find another way. I give.
I can't win.
I try but I'm just not able to handle certian stress, and no one loves me, no one cares to help me, except my dog.
She deserves better than me.