Fuck. My. Life.
There are words I don't use, I'm highly tempted to, even in this journal. The long story is that my wife is leaving me, after something happened that triggered my depression on a serious down turn. I'd have recovered, but now this, just adds to it. I really wasn't thinking about hurting myself, but I was very emotionally hurt, and instead of being supported and consoled, I got kicked out, and am losing the woman I love. Fuck my life. I don't know why I bother. It is always the same, me being thrown away. No one stays. No one. The worse part of all this? My wife is partially responsible for the trigger that turned me from generally mildly down (due to life as of late) to wanting to not exist anymore.
Now, I just want to curl up and die. I'm not suicidal, but I'm not sleeping much, not eating much. Just hoping the world will do it for me, and let me fade away. I worked so hard to get well.
Now? Why the fuck did I bother? Really? It never changes, always the same bullshit all the time, around and around. Something happens, not my fault, and MY life is the one screwed over.
No money.
No wife.
No home.
People wander why I want to die? Its this stuff happening in some form, my entire life.
Now, I just want to curl up and die. I'm not suicidal, but I'm not sleeping much, not eating much. Just hoping the world will do it for me, and let me fade away. I worked so hard to get well.
Now? Why the fuck did I bother? Really? It never changes, always the same bullshit all the time, around and around. Something happens, not my fault, and MY life is the one screwed over.
No money.
No wife.
No home.
People wander why I want to die? Its this stuff happening in some form, my entire life.