God only knows when your word isn't pure and the blood on your hands isn't yours.
Work's been... something, I guess. The last two days, my enthusiasm for it kind of dropped, probably due to the remodel giving me very little workspace and separating me from the tech shop. At least it's only temporary. I got paid the other day. Even with as little as I got in commissions, I'm making more hourly than I did doing papers (even after taxes), so... that's cool, I guess. I bought myself that Penny Arcade print and some chai tea mix. The tea is good. I haven't gotten the print yet.
Girls have been... girly, I guess. I don't really know what I want from any of them. Company, I suppose. I don't want to sleep with any of them because I feel like my number's too high already. What would happen if I met the girl of my dreams and had to tell her I've fucked like twenty chicks? It's gonna make her feel less special. I have to keep the number down. Amy should not have been number 7, but... I guess it's fitting.
My mood improved drastically for about a week. Now, I go from being either hyper/excited about something to being really angry to just fucking depressed. Hyper is fun and angry sucks, but it's still better than being depressed. I still dream about them. I still imagine the things they must be doing together. Every day, I have to think of this. Every fucking day, it continues to hurt, takes all the light I've worked so hard to gather in myself.
I'm tired of this. I don't want it, no matter what lesson I should be learning here. I just want to forget already.
Girls have been... girly, I guess. I don't really know what I want from any of them. Company, I suppose. I don't want to sleep with any of them because I feel like my number's too high already. What would happen if I met the girl of my dreams and had to tell her I've fucked like twenty chicks? It's gonna make her feel less special. I have to keep the number down. Amy should not have been number 7, but... I guess it's fitting.
My mood improved drastically for about a week. Now, I go from being either hyper/excited about something to being really angry to just fucking depressed. Hyper is fun and angry sucks, but it's still better than being depressed. I still dream about them. I still imagine the things they must be doing together. Every day, I have to think of this. Every fucking day, it continues to hurt, takes all the light I've worked so hard to gather in myself.
I'm tired of this. I don't want it, no matter what lesson I should be learning here. I just want to forget already.