Hypergraphia 2.0
Well to begin with, I have a feeling of failure. All it amounts to failing.
The easiest one to explain is a feeling of guilt. I live a good life. I am happy in general sense. Many people are living horrible lives because of uncontrollable bad situations. And I feel no matter what I give, it will never be enough to redeem myself. I mean, what possible gift could I give the world that makes up for the years and years of resources I’ve consumed and the money I’ve given to ruling class interests. And in a way, I know it’s a silly feeling. But at the same time, it seems to be calling me. Saying “Daiquiri, save the world.” I await specific instructions but either feel they are inadequate or that I’m unable to complete them.
The second feeling is a feeling of insufficiency. I like the way that word sounds. If a charcoal worker in brazil So I guess in a sense it’s a popularity contest which makes me angry. But also it’s not because of how the world feels after learning these new things. It feels bigger. That you and the world are more. And I know that someone is living in a bigger world and is more, feels and thinks more than I do. told me that he felt his life was not as valuable or worthy or significant or beautiful as an academic at oxford, I’ll tell him that’s ridiculous. But I don’t feel that way about myself. I feel I have a responsibility to learn and know as much as I can about certain things. And that I’m always failing to know enough/be enough. Which is a pretty standard feeling amongst people. I read a bit of someone summarizing baudrillard said, and I’m thinking I want to learn these things as a sign of privilege or for their symbolic value. I can live a happy live without understanding Badiou, but I can’t stop wanting to even though I know that in the end I feel all of these ideas and theories are absolutely wrong.
But it is social acceptance. I’m sure many monks know more than I do but I don’t worry about their eyes.
It’s like I’m on trial. That I’ll be sentenced if I don’t do things correctly.
Kind of a third thing. A-. I’m very jealous. She is very intimidating. Many people are, you included. But somehow it’s different. Maybe because she’s closer to my age. I don’t know. But it’s the feelings above but in an immediate way. And she called me her friend and I was fine with everything until something happened. Talking w/ people online is very different than in person. All of a sudden I care what she thinks and I want to impress her and it’s very silly I know. And she wants a friendship but I can’t give it back or know how much to give because of what should be the third thing.
Friendship: I don’t know anything about it. It’s very odd and strange to me.
I always have something to write and say, and by the time I get to the paper it’s gone. By the time I speak to someone about it, I already feel different. So, like most people I’m sure, I have an entire world I am unable to share. Which might be the worst thing of all.
I feel worst of all when I think about a girl I met named jade. I didn’t know her for long, but was introduced to me by a-. And j- is smart and creative and such. But I felt that her and I connected. I was able to tell her my ideas and thoughts, enthusiasms and she had the same. I felt it was something that belonged. We had lots in common. And she liked me, which was very odd and strange because the feeling of someone liking me back is very… bizarre. I’m unused to it. And so I thought. Oh, maybe for the first time I’ll have a girlfriend (which I don’t know if that term works because j- wants a surgery to become androgynous so she wouldn’t really be a girl, which she isn’t, she’s a woman but not really?). but there was miscommunication, etc. and things didn’t work out. And I feel bad about that. I feel like I failed a great thing. She was lonely, I was lonely, she like donna haraway, I liked donna haraway, she was interested in technological metaphors in a landscape resembling circuit boards and so was i. I felt awkward with all my relationships with women, especially as I became more interested in psychoanalytic feminism, but she said it was ok because I was transgender and she was transgender so it didn’t matter.
I’m going on too much. Basically, I made mistakes I’m unsure of and we’re not talking. All of the problems happened online. I am beginning to think I should watch out for that. Anyway, since I met her things have changed. I feel that I’ve been called and I must respond. I’ve kept this great distance and all of a sudden I’ve been touched, that I’ve been told that this is real. So it was a ridiculous infatuation. I was as she said too “eager and overweening”. But I constantly feel that things aren’t over. But they are. That I should do something about something I can do nothing about.
This is long.
Umm… yeah. Now these would be normal problems that I would just dismiss or use conventional answers to solve. I mean, I know the usual answers and responses. And I can create my own answers and responses that appear adequate.
But the things is jenny, the thing maybe you can help me most with… is that reality has been permanently warped for me. I develop a personal philosophy for myself and then I learn about “actual” philosophy. My personal philosophy is full of holes and it makes giant leaps and leaves many unanswered questions. I find myself unable to stop criticizing things. I feel that everything is wrong and that I should call it out for being wrong but I don’t have the language or knowledge. And that I am wrong but don’t have the language to communicate why.
Reality. So I do a silly thing. I take ideas from various places that I don’t finish reading up on. And create structures with them. And I begin to believe them. I shouldn’t be so arrogant to believe I know more about reality than another person but…
Ok. So a big problem is I can’t communicate the actual problem because a lot of it involves my personal philosophy on things, which is something ever changing, and there’s no one to answer that. some people wouldn’t understand. I think you would understand what I’m saying and since you know MUCH more about philosophy then I do, you’d tell me how wrong I was and I’d be happy. Because I’d know what I neeed to read and fix. The thing is I’m embarrassed to come to someone like you because either I am being something like humble and feel it’s not worth your time, or something like arrogant and feel you wouldn’t understand.
And it contradicts so much. Ok. To show you what I mean, I don’t believe in a self. In people. I don’t believe people exist. I don’t believe in free will. I don’t believe in reason or logic. I think that reason is bad or limited to a certain sphere. I believe the world manifests the way it does because of certain techniques and technologies present. I don’t believe in science. Basically, I’m trying to escape culture to discover how things really are.
But I live in a culture. I am conditioned with many ideas and assumptions. I believe people exist in bodies with brains. That science is real. That logic works. That there is such a thing as a man and a woman. That I have some kind of free will.
And I keep jumping back and forth between them. I feel after I met jade, the abstract world ruled over the conditioned world. And I know I have a responsibility to this one but I am more connected with the other one.
So I feel that a good philosopher could solve my problem. But the thing is I keep appropriating things into my own view, so when I read someone like hegel, I feel I disagree with him just because I’ve played devil’s advocate so long I don’t know how to keep a constant system… and so I feel more at home with postmodernists… but they speak in such complicated ways and have years of experience and training and reading… so I can’t understand them the way the should be. So I have to start my years of experience and training and reading. But the question is what do I do now? I’m not a philosophy major. So I don’t have the courses. I’m very new to everything, so I’m very naïve. And have lots of questions and no way to answer them….
And I find myself very bias and arrogant at times. Very judging. Though I try to be very understanding and unconditional and accepting. And humble. Though I say saying that I try to be humble because it doesn’t sound like true humility…
So I feel the people who can answer my questions will not speak the same language. And the people who can’t answer my questions are living in a different world. Not to say the people who can aren’t living in a different world…
So I’m asking you. With more years and experience than myself. To kind of point me in a direction. I refuse to accept existentialism because my body doesn’t take it, like it doesn’t take chocolate milk. I’m an anti-realist unless you convince me otherwise. I don’t believe in ethics or morality but I’m trying to convince myself to because I obviously act as if I do. I don’t believe in a self, so the authentic self isn’t a favourite idea of mine, though I am flexible in moments of desperation. I try focusing on one things, like how technology affects the way we live, but I am distracted by another thing, like solving poverty/politics, and then by another thing, trying to understand Kierkegaard. So I think I just end up trying to incorporate everything…
But my major is not everything. It’s anthropology and women’s studies. So there’s the voice in my head that is telling me I need to make a living with whatever I do.
So there is much to do and places to go and I don’t know where to start or how to stick to them because I want to do them all.
(i change personas in different environments, with different people. casually... looking back on this i see the words "hot philosophical women" and i feel ashamed. it's me, but it's a clip, a fraction. it's as true as when i say i'm not interested in that at all and what a horrible motivation for study. both are true. it's not choosing one or the other, which aspect of myself i shall deny. i wanted honesty, i give honesty.)
GiJew37: aye aye
HexZeroBleu: hey
Auto response from GiJew37: a billion candles
HexZeroBleu: i'm overburdened
GiJew37: 2:30 hours of manual electrical work
HexZeroBleu: sounds fun
GiJew37: is a lot harder than 6 hours at a normal job
GiJew37: not really
GiJew37: four of my fingers dont have skin on them
GiJew37: ive been standing in the same position for hours
HexZeroBleu: but the new skin will be like iron hide
GiJew37: my neck is completely stiff
GiJew37: no
GiJew37: the new skin comes
GiJew37: and is ripped off
GiJew37: just the same
HexZeroBleu: you know how a machine feels
GiJew37: ive been doing this for months
GiJew37: its impossible to get calluses
GiJew37: i should send her a message
GiJew37: now or
GiJew37: tonight
HexZeroBleu: tonight
GiJew37: good, good
HexZeroBleu: now i wonder how i'm going to become a decent... familiar
GiJew37: ?
HexZeroBleu: i don't know. there's a lot of philosophy out there
HexZeroBleu: and i'm so far behind
HexZeroBleu: and too excitable
GiJew37: 1.
HexZeroBleu: 2.
GiJew37: most philosophy doesnt matter
GiJew37: if youre skeptic enough you can shoot down half of the other philosophies
GiJew37: i just listened to hume lectures the entire time i worked
HexZeroBleu: yeah, but the stuff that seems to matter needs a lot of pre-reading
GiJew37: about skepticism
GiJew37: that's true
GiJew37: who matters
HexZeroBleu: but arrogance
HexZeroBleu: has never been a friend of mine
HexZeroBleu: and i'm too arrogant, dismissing whole schools of thought
GiJew37: batteries
GiJew37: i am too
GiJew37: but i dont do it without good reason
HexZeroBleu: like existentialism. it's like chocolate milk, i don't want to digest it
HexZeroBleu: pshk
HexZeroBleu: good reason
GiJew37: its just as logical and statistically plausable
HexZeroBleu: doesn't deconstructionism warn against that
GiJew37: as another school of thought
GiJew37: i dont know what deconstructionism does or really care being that it destroys itself
HexZeroBleu: it can't destroy what it can't define
HexZeroBleu: there are hot philosophical women
GiJew37: REALLY
HexZeroBleu: that know this stuff.
GiJew37: yes.
HexZeroBleu: how can i get a hot philosophical women
HexZeroBleu: if i don't know this stuff
HexZeroBleu: like i have devot hours to learning about ~~~ hegel
HexZeroBleu: and i'm not even a philosophy major
HexZeroBleu: and knowing that in a hundred years, some asshole is going to say something that contradicts whatever i find out
HexZeroBleu: i'm much for bringing on an apocalypse
GiJew37: well daquiri
GiJew37: what can we deduce then
HexZeroBleu: there's baudrillard, deleuze, spinoza, futurism, deconstructionism, postmodernism, etc.
GiJew37: what these women eblieve will be contradicted in hundreds of years
GiJew37: so theyre wrong right now
GiJew37: so theyre only hott because you think theyre right
HexZeroBleu: yeah... but they don't know that
GiJew37: but you do
GiJew37: so fuck them
HexZeroBleu: me knowing that
GiJew37: find yourself a good horny girl
HexZeroBleu: doesn't get me a girlfriend
GiJew37: who will please your penis in ways
HexZeroBleu: pshk
HexZeroBleu: i want someone that can put me in my place
GiJew37: this is true
GiJew37: still
GiJew37: you dont really need to read philosophy to know philosophy
HexZeroBleu: pshk.
GiJew37: find a nice math or physics major
HexZeroBleu: i am anti-science
GiJew37: ive seen computer science majors
GiJew37: own philo majors
GiJew37: just because theyre more rational
GiJew37: philosophy is not some secret
GiJew37: so we take time to read it
HexZeroBleu: pshk. philosophy majors
HexZeroBleu: aren't philosophy graduates
GiJew37: it doesnt mean we have a crazy affinity for the unkowable
HexZeroBleu: aren't baudrillard
GiJew37: hmmm
GiJew37: well
GiJew37: i must go to the bank
HexZeroBleu: go to the bank
GiJew37: to deposit my 1,500 scholarship check
GiJew37: =D
HexZeroBleu: and cash in your exploitation
GiJew37: ill call you on the carride there maybe
GiJew37: to tell you why im right
HexZeroBleu: pshk you can try
GiJew37: mk
HexZeroBleu: i think i'm looking for
Auto response from GiJew37: a billion candles
GiJew37: oil
GiJew37: for a lincoln town car
GiJew37: 1992
HexZeroBleu: oil spews from your mouth
HexZeroBleu: i think philosophy may be a type of priveledge value thingy baudrillard talk about
HexZeroBleu: that i'm still a consumer
GiJew37: philosophy is
GiJew37: trying to figure out what everything is
HexZeroBleu: no
GiJew37: wittgenstein almost killed himself
GiJew37: over something making a V symbol with their fingers
HexZeroBleu: it's just constantly analyzzing
HexZeroBleu: there's nothing to figure out
GiJew37: do you know why
HexZeroBleu: ?
GiJew37: there was no logical base to the action
GiJew37: and all his work on logic was in vain
GiJew37: imagine daquiri
GiJew37: you thought you had been right
GiJew37: for years
GiJew37: and eight hours each day for years
GiJew37: finding out more and more about this thing
GiJew37: then over you seeing something a teenager should have seen
GiJew37: you MISSED it
GiJew37: pwnt
GiJew37: wittgenstein got pwnt
GiJew37: theres a wittgenstein movie i was to watch
GiJew37: want*
GiJew37: made in 89
GiJew37: it looks badass
GiJew37: the guy who plays him looks exactly like him too
HexZeroBleu: maybe a relative
HexZeroBleu: philosophy is a bad idea
GiJew37: philosophy is the only reason stuff has been done
HexZeroBleu: and has become something trying to make up from the agricultural revolution
GiJew37: its philosophy sometimes until its made into science
HexZeroBleu: stuff being done is not good
GiJew37: haha
GiJew37: says your ethical code
GiJew37: which is no better or worse than mine
HexZeroBleu: i don't think a butterfly
HexZeroBleu: has any problem with the world
GiJew37: i dont think a butterfly views the world like us
HexZeroBleu: which may be a good thing
HexZeroBleu: because if they did, they'd commit suicide and start wars
HexZeroBleu: and have butterfly powerplants
HexZeroBleu: and forget what butterfly was all about
GiJew37: exactly
HexZeroBleu: so we're better off not thinking
HexZeroBleu: but we can't do that
GiJew37: ASSUMING
GiJew37: its better to sit and do nothing
GiJew37: than wage wars
HexZeroBleu: because someone started thinking before us and made us do it
GiJew37: what if the final human tragedy is boredom
GiJew37: and humans fear eternity
HexZeroBleu: an eternal boredom
GiJew37: so were not bored when were humans
GiJew37: YES
GiJew37: gtg
HexZeroBleu: the thing is
GiJew37: cya
HexZeroBleu: pshk
there are more letters that has mysteriously disappeared
the internet... is a strange... not visual. acoustic. everywhere. more than one place more than one person more than one identity.
"
6. The electronic media (telegraph, radio, TV, and now the Internet) have decentralized life and turned the world into a global village. They have had what McLuhan described as a "retribalizing" effect. The boundaries between "here" and "there" have been obliterated. We see, read and hear what is happening in the world all the time, all at once. Something happening a continent away from us feels just as relevant and important as something happening in our own neighborhood. A "friend" on television will be just as important to us as a "real-life" friend. The person we instant message on the Internet will "matter" as much as someone we just met at a dinner party. And so on.
7. The only way not to feel alienated in the new media environment, McLuhan said, is to understand what is going on in the present, to be keenly aware of one's environment. Most people, however, do not do this: they live in the past. They suffer from a "rear-view mirror" mentality. Their thoughts and feelings belong to the preceding generation (we've all met people who are "still living in the 1960s or 1980s," still talking about former presidents, the "good old days," the innocent past)."
"the computer and the internet will once again reconfgure the brains of those that use them. Typing is a two-handed activity that requires input form both sides of the brain. WRiting requires only the dominant hand. The use of a mouse b the right hand nececssitates the activation of right-hemispheric visual-spatial skills. The world wide web and the internet are not linear, they are holistic."
and now i'm very detached from whatever's going on. what am i typing? i don't know. I know that i feel differently about someone that i am not supposed to (not allowed) to feel differently about... why?
"I feel clean! My whole body is a'quiver with cleanness!"
atone!
The easiest one to explain is a feeling of guilt. I live a good life. I am happy in general sense. Many people are living horrible lives because of uncontrollable bad situations. And I feel no matter what I give, it will never be enough to redeem myself. I mean, what possible gift could I give the world that makes up for the years and years of resources I’ve consumed and the money I’ve given to ruling class interests. And in a way, I know it’s a silly feeling. But at the same time, it seems to be calling me. Saying “Daiquiri, save the world.” I await specific instructions but either feel they are inadequate or that I’m unable to complete them.
The second feeling is a feeling of insufficiency. I like the way that word sounds. If a charcoal worker in brazil So I guess in a sense it’s a popularity contest which makes me angry. But also it’s not because of how the world feels after learning these new things. It feels bigger. That you and the world are more. And I know that someone is living in a bigger world and is more, feels and thinks more than I do. told me that he felt his life was not as valuable or worthy or significant or beautiful as an academic at oxford, I’ll tell him that’s ridiculous. But I don’t feel that way about myself. I feel I have a responsibility to learn and know as much as I can about certain things. And that I’m always failing to know enough/be enough. Which is a pretty standard feeling amongst people. I read a bit of someone summarizing baudrillard said, and I’m thinking I want to learn these things as a sign of privilege or for their symbolic value. I can live a happy live without understanding Badiou, but I can’t stop wanting to even though I know that in the end I feel all of these ideas and theories are absolutely wrong.
But it is social acceptance. I’m sure many monks know more than I do but I don’t worry about their eyes.
It’s like I’m on trial. That I’ll be sentenced if I don’t do things correctly.
Kind of a third thing. A-. I’m very jealous. She is very intimidating. Many people are, you included. But somehow it’s different. Maybe because she’s closer to my age. I don’t know. But it’s the feelings above but in an immediate way. And she called me her friend and I was fine with everything until something happened. Talking w/ people online is very different than in person. All of a sudden I care what she thinks and I want to impress her and it’s very silly I know. And she wants a friendship but I can’t give it back or know how much to give because of what should be the third thing.
Friendship: I don’t know anything about it. It’s very odd and strange to me.
I always have something to write and say, and by the time I get to the paper it’s gone. By the time I speak to someone about it, I already feel different. So, like most people I’m sure, I have an entire world I am unable to share. Which might be the worst thing of all.
I feel worst of all when I think about a girl I met named jade. I didn’t know her for long, but was introduced to me by a-. And j- is smart and creative and such. But I felt that her and I connected. I was able to tell her my ideas and thoughts, enthusiasms and she had the same. I felt it was something that belonged. We had lots in common. And she liked me, which was very odd and strange because the feeling of someone liking me back is very… bizarre. I’m unused to it. And so I thought. Oh, maybe for the first time I’ll have a girlfriend (which I don’t know if that term works because j- wants a surgery to become androgynous so she wouldn’t really be a girl, which she isn’t, she’s a woman but not really?). but there was miscommunication, etc. and things didn’t work out. And I feel bad about that. I feel like I failed a great thing. She was lonely, I was lonely, she like donna haraway, I liked donna haraway, she was interested in technological metaphors in a landscape resembling circuit boards and so was i. I felt awkward with all my relationships with women, especially as I became more interested in psychoanalytic feminism, but she said it was ok because I was transgender and she was transgender so it didn’t matter.
I’m going on too much. Basically, I made mistakes I’m unsure of and we’re not talking. All of the problems happened online. I am beginning to think I should watch out for that. Anyway, since I met her things have changed. I feel that I’ve been called and I must respond. I’ve kept this great distance and all of a sudden I’ve been touched, that I’ve been told that this is real. So it was a ridiculous infatuation. I was as she said too “eager and overweening”. But I constantly feel that things aren’t over. But they are. That I should do something about something I can do nothing about.
This is long.
Umm… yeah. Now these would be normal problems that I would just dismiss or use conventional answers to solve. I mean, I know the usual answers and responses. And I can create my own answers and responses that appear adequate.
But the things is jenny, the thing maybe you can help me most with… is that reality has been permanently warped for me. I develop a personal philosophy for myself and then I learn about “actual” philosophy. My personal philosophy is full of holes and it makes giant leaps and leaves many unanswered questions. I find myself unable to stop criticizing things. I feel that everything is wrong and that I should call it out for being wrong but I don’t have the language or knowledge. And that I am wrong but don’t have the language to communicate why.
Reality. So I do a silly thing. I take ideas from various places that I don’t finish reading up on. And create structures with them. And I begin to believe them. I shouldn’t be so arrogant to believe I know more about reality than another person but…
Ok. So a big problem is I can’t communicate the actual problem because a lot of it involves my personal philosophy on things, which is something ever changing, and there’s no one to answer that. some people wouldn’t understand. I think you would understand what I’m saying and since you know MUCH more about philosophy then I do, you’d tell me how wrong I was and I’d be happy. Because I’d know what I neeed to read and fix. The thing is I’m embarrassed to come to someone like you because either I am being something like humble and feel it’s not worth your time, or something like arrogant and feel you wouldn’t understand.
And it contradicts so much. Ok. To show you what I mean, I don’t believe in a self. In people. I don’t believe people exist. I don’t believe in free will. I don’t believe in reason or logic. I think that reason is bad or limited to a certain sphere. I believe the world manifests the way it does because of certain techniques and technologies present. I don’t believe in science. Basically, I’m trying to escape culture to discover how things really are.
But I live in a culture. I am conditioned with many ideas and assumptions. I believe people exist in bodies with brains. That science is real. That logic works. That there is such a thing as a man and a woman. That I have some kind of free will.
And I keep jumping back and forth between them. I feel after I met jade, the abstract world ruled over the conditioned world. And I know I have a responsibility to this one but I am more connected with the other one.
So I feel that a good philosopher could solve my problem. But the thing is I keep appropriating things into my own view, so when I read someone like hegel, I feel I disagree with him just because I’ve played devil’s advocate so long I don’t know how to keep a constant system… and so I feel more at home with postmodernists… but they speak in such complicated ways and have years of experience and training and reading… so I can’t understand them the way the should be. So I have to start my years of experience and training and reading. But the question is what do I do now? I’m not a philosophy major. So I don’t have the courses. I’m very new to everything, so I’m very naïve. And have lots of questions and no way to answer them….
And I find myself very bias and arrogant at times. Very judging. Though I try to be very understanding and unconditional and accepting. And humble. Though I say saying that I try to be humble because it doesn’t sound like true humility…
So I feel the people who can answer my questions will not speak the same language. And the people who can’t answer my questions are living in a different world. Not to say the people who can aren’t living in a different world…
So I’m asking you. With more years and experience than myself. To kind of point me in a direction. I refuse to accept existentialism because my body doesn’t take it, like it doesn’t take chocolate milk. I’m an anti-realist unless you convince me otherwise. I don’t believe in ethics or morality but I’m trying to convince myself to because I obviously act as if I do. I don’t believe in a self, so the authentic self isn’t a favourite idea of mine, though I am flexible in moments of desperation. I try focusing on one things, like how technology affects the way we live, but I am distracted by another thing, like solving poverty/politics, and then by another thing, trying to understand Kierkegaard. So I think I just end up trying to incorporate everything…
But my major is not everything. It’s anthropology and women’s studies. So there’s the voice in my head that is telling me I need to make a living with whatever I do.
So there is much to do and places to go and I don’t know where to start or how to stick to them because I want to do them all.
(i change personas in different environments, with different people. casually... looking back on this i see the words "hot philosophical women" and i feel ashamed. it's me, but it's a clip, a fraction. it's as true as when i say i'm not interested in that at all and what a horrible motivation for study. both are true. it's not choosing one or the other, which aspect of myself i shall deny. i wanted honesty, i give honesty.)
GiJew37: aye aye
HexZeroBleu: hey
Auto response from GiJew37: a billion candles
HexZeroBleu: i'm overburdened
GiJew37: 2:30 hours of manual electrical work
HexZeroBleu: sounds fun
GiJew37: is a lot harder than 6 hours at a normal job
GiJew37: not really
GiJew37: four of my fingers dont have skin on them
GiJew37: ive been standing in the same position for hours
HexZeroBleu: but the new skin will be like iron hide
GiJew37: my neck is completely stiff
GiJew37: no
GiJew37: the new skin comes
GiJew37: and is ripped off
GiJew37: just the same
HexZeroBleu: you know how a machine feels
GiJew37: ive been doing this for months
GiJew37: its impossible to get calluses
GiJew37: i should send her a message
GiJew37: now or
GiJew37: tonight
HexZeroBleu: tonight
GiJew37: good, good
HexZeroBleu: now i wonder how i'm going to become a decent... familiar
GiJew37: ?
HexZeroBleu: i don't know. there's a lot of philosophy out there
HexZeroBleu: and i'm so far behind
HexZeroBleu: and too excitable
GiJew37: 1.
HexZeroBleu: 2.
GiJew37: most philosophy doesnt matter
GiJew37: if youre skeptic enough you can shoot down half of the other philosophies
GiJew37: i just listened to hume lectures the entire time i worked
HexZeroBleu: yeah, but the stuff that seems to matter needs a lot of pre-reading
GiJew37: about skepticism
GiJew37: that's true
GiJew37: who matters
HexZeroBleu: but arrogance
HexZeroBleu: has never been a friend of mine
HexZeroBleu: and i'm too arrogant, dismissing whole schools of thought
GiJew37: batteries
GiJew37: i am too
GiJew37: but i dont do it without good reason
HexZeroBleu: like existentialism. it's like chocolate milk, i don't want to digest it
HexZeroBleu: pshk
HexZeroBleu: good reason
GiJew37: its just as logical and statistically plausable
HexZeroBleu: doesn't deconstructionism warn against that
GiJew37: as another school of thought
GiJew37: i dont know what deconstructionism does or really care being that it destroys itself
HexZeroBleu: it can't destroy what it can't define
HexZeroBleu: there are hot philosophical women
GiJew37: REALLY
HexZeroBleu: that know this stuff.
GiJew37: yes.
HexZeroBleu: how can i get a hot philosophical women
HexZeroBleu: if i don't know this stuff
HexZeroBleu: like i have devot hours to learning about ~~~ hegel
HexZeroBleu: and i'm not even a philosophy major
HexZeroBleu: and knowing that in a hundred years, some asshole is going to say something that contradicts whatever i find out
HexZeroBleu: i'm much for bringing on an apocalypse
GiJew37: well daquiri
GiJew37: what can we deduce then
HexZeroBleu: there's baudrillard, deleuze, spinoza, futurism, deconstructionism, postmodernism, etc.
GiJew37: what these women eblieve will be contradicted in hundreds of years
GiJew37: so theyre wrong right now
GiJew37: so theyre only hott because you think theyre right
HexZeroBleu: yeah... but they don't know that
GiJew37: but you do
GiJew37: so fuck them
HexZeroBleu: me knowing that
GiJew37: find yourself a good horny girl
HexZeroBleu: doesn't get me a girlfriend
GiJew37: who will please your penis in ways
HexZeroBleu: pshk
HexZeroBleu: i want someone that can put me in my place
GiJew37: this is true
GiJew37: still
GiJew37: you dont really need to read philosophy to know philosophy
HexZeroBleu: pshk.
GiJew37: find a nice math or physics major
HexZeroBleu: i am anti-science
GiJew37: ive seen computer science majors
GiJew37: own philo majors
GiJew37: just because theyre more rational
GiJew37: philosophy is not some secret
GiJew37: so we take time to read it
HexZeroBleu: pshk. philosophy majors
HexZeroBleu: aren't philosophy graduates
GiJew37: it doesnt mean we have a crazy affinity for the unkowable
HexZeroBleu: aren't baudrillard
GiJew37: hmmm
GiJew37: well
GiJew37: i must go to the bank
HexZeroBleu: go to the bank
GiJew37: to deposit my 1,500 scholarship check
GiJew37: =D
HexZeroBleu: and cash in your exploitation
GiJew37: ill call you on the carride there maybe
GiJew37: to tell you why im right
HexZeroBleu: pshk you can try
GiJew37: mk
HexZeroBleu: i think i'm looking for
Auto response from GiJew37: a billion candles
GiJew37: oil
GiJew37: for a lincoln town car
GiJew37: 1992
HexZeroBleu: oil spews from your mouth
HexZeroBleu: i think philosophy may be a type of priveledge value thingy baudrillard talk about
HexZeroBleu: that i'm still a consumer
GiJew37: philosophy is
GiJew37: trying to figure out what everything is
HexZeroBleu: no
GiJew37: wittgenstein almost killed himself
GiJew37: over something making a V symbol with their fingers
HexZeroBleu: it's just constantly analyzzing
HexZeroBleu: there's nothing to figure out
GiJew37: do you know why
HexZeroBleu: ?
GiJew37: there was no logical base to the action
GiJew37: and all his work on logic was in vain
GiJew37: imagine daquiri
GiJew37: you thought you had been right
GiJew37: for years
GiJew37: and eight hours each day for years
GiJew37: finding out more and more about this thing
GiJew37: then over you seeing something a teenager should have seen
GiJew37: you MISSED it
GiJew37: pwnt
GiJew37: wittgenstein got pwnt
GiJew37: theres a wittgenstein movie i was to watch
GiJew37: want*
GiJew37: made in 89
GiJew37: it looks badass
GiJew37: the guy who plays him looks exactly like him too
HexZeroBleu: maybe a relative
HexZeroBleu: philosophy is a bad idea
GiJew37: philosophy is the only reason stuff has been done
HexZeroBleu: and has become something trying to make up from the agricultural revolution
GiJew37: its philosophy sometimes until its made into science
HexZeroBleu: stuff being done is not good
GiJew37: haha
GiJew37: says your ethical code
GiJew37: which is no better or worse than mine
HexZeroBleu: i don't think a butterfly
HexZeroBleu: has any problem with the world
GiJew37: i dont think a butterfly views the world like us
HexZeroBleu: which may be a good thing
HexZeroBleu: because if they did, they'd commit suicide and start wars
HexZeroBleu: and have butterfly powerplants
HexZeroBleu: and forget what butterfly was all about
GiJew37: exactly
HexZeroBleu: so we're better off not thinking
HexZeroBleu: but we can't do that
GiJew37: ASSUMING
GiJew37: its better to sit and do nothing
GiJew37: than wage wars
HexZeroBleu: because someone started thinking before us and made us do it
GiJew37: what if the final human tragedy is boredom
GiJew37: and humans fear eternity
HexZeroBleu: an eternal boredom
GiJew37: so were not bored when were humans
GiJew37: YES
GiJew37: gtg
HexZeroBleu: the thing is
GiJew37: cya
HexZeroBleu: pshk
there are more letters that has mysteriously disappeared
the internet... is a strange... not visual. acoustic. everywhere. more than one place more than one person more than one identity.
"
6. The electronic media (telegraph, radio, TV, and now the Internet) have decentralized life and turned the world into a global village. They have had what McLuhan described as a "retribalizing" effect. The boundaries between "here" and "there" have been obliterated. We see, read and hear what is happening in the world all the time, all at once. Something happening a continent away from us feels just as relevant and important as something happening in our own neighborhood. A "friend" on television will be just as important to us as a "real-life" friend. The person we instant message on the Internet will "matter" as much as someone we just met at a dinner party. And so on.
7. The only way not to feel alienated in the new media environment, McLuhan said, is to understand what is going on in the present, to be keenly aware of one's environment. Most people, however, do not do this: they live in the past. They suffer from a "rear-view mirror" mentality. Their thoughts and feelings belong to the preceding generation (we've all met people who are "still living in the 1960s or 1980s," still talking about former presidents, the "good old days," the innocent past)."
"the computer and the internet will once again reconfgure the brains of those that use them. Typing is a two-handed activity that requires input form both sides of the brain. WRiting requires only the dominant hand. The use of a mouse b the right hand nececssitates the activation of right-hemispheric visual-spatial skills. The world wide web and the internet are not linear, they are holistic."
and now i'm very detached from whatever's going on. what am i typing? i don't know. I know that i feel differently about someone that i am not supposed to (not allowed) to feel differently about... why?
"I feel clean! My whole body is a'quiver with cleanness!"
atone!