(no subject)
I woke up feeling a dull panic and a tightness in my chest. I was just a dream.. just a dream.. I chanted this to myself over and over again as I climbed out of my bed and immediately felt that I needed to shower to wash all this stinky fear off of me. When I left my room I sudeenly felt so alone and so scared. I was not Illyria, that was for sure but for some reason I did not feel like Fred either.. I felt like some sort of hideous combination of the two and yet the sum was in a way worse than its parts.
I took a long hot shower, let the water beat down on my hoping to burn away the memory of the dream, the memory of Illyria in general. Showers can’t do that though, that is expecting way too much from the simple act of bathing. After I am done with the shower I stare in the fogged up mirror for a time and wait till the steam parts and I cn finally see my face.
My face..
My face..
No that is not my face. I grab a small candle and toss it at the blue haired reflection and the glass explodes in a rain of silver. I cover my face and pull away but that does little good because the shards find me anyway and stab into me. I crumble to the ground as the world explodes around me and suddenly.. I open my eyes and find that there are no glass shards around me. Slowly I stand and find the mirror is actually in tact. I take a deep breath.. this is too much.. way too much. I leave the bathroom and slowly dress. I need help.
I took a long hot shower, let the water beat down on my hoping to burn away the memory of the dream, the memory of Illyria in general. Showers can’t do that though, that is expecting way too much from the simple act of bathing. After I am done with the shower I stare in the fogged up mirror for a time and wait till the steam parts and I cn finally see my face.
My face..
My face..
No that is not my face. I grab a small candle and toss it at the blue haired reflection and the glass explodes in a rain of silver. I cover my face and pull away but that does little good because the shards find me anyway and stab into me. I crumble to the ground as the world explodes around me and suddenly.. I open my eyes and find that there are no glass shards around me. Slowly I stand and find the mirror is actually in tact. I take a deep breath.. this is too much.. way too much. I leave the bathroom and slowly dress. I need help.