Sweet turning sour and untouchable
After dusting Angel I wanted to head out and find Wes right there and then. Knew I should, who the fuck knew what he was up to since he'd knocked me out. Well he was a vamp now, soulless and straight up evil, so I gotta just assume he's out maiming and murdering people. Really really should stop him before he did too much damage. So why wasn't I? Was suddenly finding myself not caring very much. It wasn't that I didn't care about Wesley, but Wes was dead and something else had moved into his body. Maybe I was just bein' a wuss cause I didn't wanna see the thing that my boyfriend had become, or maybe I was scared. Just stabbed my best friend in the heart and watched him wither into dust, no hesitation. What made me so sure I wouldn't do the same thing to Wes if I was given half the chance? Cor seems to think we can stick a soul into him, so I'd have to lock him up somewhere.
I wasn't ready yet, but I will be.
Still could feel the emptyness inside, sort of like a rotting hole in the pit of my stomach that I just couldn't shake no matter how hard I tried. To be fair, I wasn't tryin' all that hard. Didn't seem like there was a point in tryin', no matter what I did it all just got fucked up.
Heading back to the apartment I used to share with Wesley, I crashed on the couch and fell into the first dreamless sleep I could remember having in a really long time.
When I woke up it was dark out again, which I guess shouldn't be surprising since I had been wicked tired and I hadn't gotten home til the sun was already up and the normal people of Hell A were goin' about their nine to fives.
Knew I was gonna have my work cut out for me with lockin' Wes up until we Cordelia can make him souled up again. Not sure what I was gonna do after that. Shit, I wasn't even sure how I was gonna go about lockin' him up. I'm not really the chick with a plan, that was supposed to be my watcher's job. Wesley was the one who was good with plans, not that his plan had gotten us very far when we set out to hunt down Angelus.
I felt a stabbing pain in my heart when I thought about Angel. That was good though, right? Means I'm not all dead inside, like I'd thought I was a few hours ago. Sorta preferred that numb feeling, it sure beat the feelin' like I wanted to set the world on fire until I got sent to hell for the second time.
I wasn't stupid, even if some people thought that I was. Takin' down Wes would probably be harder than Angelus. Sure Angelus had the centuries of gettin' his violence on to fall back on, but when it came right down to it Wesley was the smartest person I'd ever met. Angelus was strong, but I was stronger. Knew I was stronger than Wes too, now I just had to be smarter. How the fuck was I gonna do that?
As I got up and started stretching, working the kinks out in my muscles my thoughts went to Spike for some fucked up reason. He was the one who'd come to bail me out when Angelus had me all locked up. Apparently, him and the other me were pals...or something more, I dunno. Plus, he was the one who brought Jeff into this dimension with him. I wondered if he knew about Jeff. More than that, I was really gonna need some muscle to back me up. My first instinct was to run to B. How many times could I run back to Buffy cryin' that I'd fucked everything up and needed her to come bail me out? No way, I couldn't do it. Not to mention, after I told her about Angelus who knew how stake happy she'd get with Wes. Couldn't risk it.
Spike was the only one I trusted to back me up. I knew at some point I was gonna have to suck it up and go talk to him anyways.
Snatched up the keys to Wesley's jeep, and it didn't take me long to cross L.A. traffic. Before I knew it I was knockin' on the hotel room where I knew Spike was stayin'.
I wasn't ready yet, but I will be.
Still could feel the emptyness inside, sort of like a rotting hole in the pit of my stomach that I just couldn't shake no matter how hard I tried. To be fair, I wasn't tryin' all that hard. Didn't seem like there was a point in tryin', no matter what I did it all just got fucked up.
Heading back to the apartment I used to share with Wesley, I crashed on the couch and fell into the first dreamless sleep I could remember having in a really long time.
When I woke up it was dark out again, which I guess shouldn't be surprising since I had been wicked tired and I hadn't gotten home til the sun was already up and the normal people of Hell A were goin' about their nine to fives.
Knew I was gonna have my work cut out for me with lockin' Wes up until we Cordelia can make him souled up again. Not sure what I was gonna do after that. Shit, I wasn't even sure how I was gonna go about lockin' him up. I'm not really the chick with a plan, that was supposed to be my watcher's job. Wesley was the one who was good with plans, not that his plan had gotten us very far when we set out to hunt down Angelus.
I felt a stabbing pain in my heart when I thought about Angel. That was good though, right? Means I'm not all dead inside, like I'd thought I was a few hours ago. Sorta preferred that numb feeling, it sure beat the feelin' like I wanted to set the world on fire until I got sent to hell for the second time.
I wasn't stupid, even if some people thought that I was. Takin' down Wes would probably be harder than Angelus. Sure Angelus had the centuries of gettin' his violence on to fall back on, but when it came right down to it Wesley was the smartest person I'd ever met. Angelus was strong, but I was stronger. Knew I was stronger than Wes too, now I just had to be smarter. How the fuck was I gonna do that?
As I got up and started stretching, working the kinks out in my muscles my thoughts went to Spike for some fucked up reason. He was the one who'd come to bail me out when Angelus had me all locked up. Apparently, him and the other me were pals...or something more, I dunno. Plus, he was the one who brought Jeff into this dimension with him. I wondered if he knew about Jeff. More than that, I was really gonna need some muscle to back me up. My first instinct was to run to B. How many times could I run back to Buffy cryin' that I'd fucked everything up and needed her to come bail me out? No way, I couldn't do it. Not to mention, after I told her about Angelus who knew how stake happy she'd get with Wes. Couldn't risk it.
Spike was the only one I trusted to back me up. I knew at some point I was gonna have to suck it up and go talk to him anyways.
Snatched up the keys to Wesley's jeep, and it didn't take me long to cross L.A. traffic. Before I knew it I was knockin' on the hotel room where I knew Spike was stayin'.