What Have I Become?
What have I become?
I'm not happy with this shell that I put over myself. No one knows me here. Well..maybe 2 people. You guys know who you are. ;) I just hate how I can't be me anymore. If I let my guard down, there is just someone out there waiting to get in and hurt me. There's no way that this can be true though. Have I grown that paranoid? Have I let my hurt get that cold and far from my soul?
I don't understand how I can see nothing but the bad in me, but good in everyone else. What is it that allows me to see the best in those who feel that they are the worst person in the world? What is it in me that allows me to be more than human and touch so many hearts? I hate people, but I see how many lives I have affected. But then I look in the mirror and ask "How can all of this come from me?" What is it that makes me this way? So full of hate, but at the same time, so full of love. Is this the real me trying to come out and what I made myself become? I think it is...
Heh, maybe one of these days I can finally find what I'm looking for. Until then, I guess that I will keep walking on this cold road with my rain cloud over my head.
...one day...I'll make you see everything that I see. I'll make you realize that there's something that no one else but me saw. You'll believe for the first time that you are a wonderful person & just as beautiful inside as you are on the outside...
P.S. Thanks for the other night. It's good to know that there are SOME people who I can connect with in this town from time to time. Heh, you know who you are dear. I've got much love for you because of that.
I'm not happy with this shell that I put over myself. No one knows me here. Well..maybe 2 people. You guys know who you are. ;) I just hate how I can't be me anymore. If I let my guard down, there is just someone out there waiting to get in and hurt me. There's no way that this can be true though. Have I grown that paranoid? Have I let my hurt get that cold and far from my soul?
I don't understand how I can see nothing but the bad in me, but good in everyone else. What is it that allows me to see the best in those who feel that they are the worst person in the world? What is it in me that allows me to be more than human and touch so many hearts? I hate people, but I see how many lives I have affected. But then I look in the mirror and ask "How can all of this come from me?" What is it that makes me this way? So full of hate, but at the same time, so full of love. Is this the real me trying to come out and what I made myself become? I think it is...
Heh, maybe one of these days I can finally find what I'm looking for. Until then, I guess that I will keep walking on this cold road with my rain cloud over my head.
...one day...I'll make you see everything that I see. I'll make you realize that there's something that no one else but me saw. You'll believe for the first time that you are a wonderful person & just as beautiful inside as you are on the outside...
P.S. Thanks for the other night. It's good to know that there are SOME people who I can connect with in this town from time to time. Heh, you know who you are dear. I've got much love for you because of that.