Betrayed By An Angel
So yesterday I went to the TCS graduation. Congrats again Chenwei & Lisa! Spent some time with Chenwei, Jessica, Zach?, Allison, Laura, & Lisa afterwards. Watched as Buddy made his way into the house from time to time and jumped on a table or two to grab food. Heh, I spoke with Chenwei's dad for some time as well. We spoke of everything from football to the medical & dental programs at school. He commented on how big & strong I was. LOL.
Well, we all went out to eat, and later on returned to Chenwei's house. Chenwei forced more food on the rest of us. Ice cream, vegetables, & various other foods. We watched Eternal Sunshine and Donnie Darko. DD was a great movie, because unlike many stupid fucks I actually understood it my first time and didn't like it because others did. Chenwei and I pretty much spent a good bit of time together last night, because everyone else had to leave. I'm so proud of her for making it this far. Heh, I ended up leaving after DD and said goodbye to Chenwei with a kiss. Heh, the way some feelings come back in the strangest moments will never cease to amaze me.
*sigh* On a more depressing note, things got worse around 2am when Chenwei & I talked on the phone. Heh, for the first time in a while I feel like it is me vs the world again. I mean hell, with what she said to me and all, I can't help but feel betrayed by her. I never thought that the one that I loved with all my heart would be the only one who could bring me to me knees. I'm weak whenever I talk to her, because I'm open. I'm lonley when she's not there. The worst thing is that I want to die because I'm fighting a battle that I am only destined to lose. I am doomed.
...why is it that you want to make everyone happy, yet i'm the only one who feels deeply hurt and alone. you've betrayed me angel...
Well, we all went out to eat, and later on returned to Chenwei's house. Chenwei forced more food on the rest of us. Ice cream, vegetables, & various other foods. We watched Eternal Sunshine and Donnie Darko. DD was a great movie, because unlike many stupid fucks I actually understood it my first time and didn't like it because others did. Chenwei and I pretty much spent a good bit of time together last night, because everyone else had to leave. I'm so proud of her for making it this far. Heh, I ended up leaving after DD and said goodbye to Chenwei with a kiss. Heh, the way some feelings come back in the strangest moments will never cease to amaze me.
*sigh* On a more depressing note, things got worse around 2am when Chenwei & I talked on the phone. Heh, for the first time in a while I feel like it is me vs the world again. I mean hell, with what she said to me and all, I can't help but feel betrayed by her. I never thought that the one that I loved with all my heart would be the only one who could bring me to me knees. I'm weak whenever I talk to her, because I'm open. I'm lonley when she's not there. The worst thing is that I want to die because I'm fighting a battle that I am only destined to lose. I am doomed.
...why is it that you want to make everyone happy, yet i'm the only one who feels deeply hurt and alone. you've betrayed me angel...