MCR Fic: Should've Gone
Title: Should've Gone
Author: ghost_of_helena
Rating: PG
POV: Gerard’s
Summary: I did the unthinkable and I don’t regret it.
Disclaimer: It's all FAKE. Never happened. Don't know them. Never will.
It was easier then I had thought it would be. The thought had crossed my mind several times, but I never thought I could actually do it. I mean, why would I? I wasn’t that cold hearted, was I? Maybe I am, maybe I’m not, and it doesn’t really matter anymore. I did the unthinkable and I don’t regret it. You think I would, but I don’t. I actually feel relived.
There will be no more fighting. No more of you trying to change who I am. Though, I don’t know why you would try and do that for. You said you loved me. Said you loved who I was, but you were always trying to make me be somebody else. Someone you really wanted deep down inside. I’m sorry I couldn’t be that person. That person you truly wanted, but just couldn’t say you wanted.
After all of the times I disappointed you, hurt your feelings, and made you cry I would’ve thought that you would have left me a long time ago. But you never did leave. You continued to be there. Right there by my side no matter what I did. No matter how fucked up I made things. You said you wouldn’t leave me because you loved me too much. I was your every thing and you couldn’t imagine spending your life without me. I wish you had been able to imagine your life without me. If you had then you would’ve gone away. So far away from me, somewhere where I couldn’t have hurt you.
But you just couldn’t do it. And now there you lay on the bed, alone. You’re not moving. You’re not breathing. You’re dead to the world. You’re dead to the world because of me. Because I decided that tonight was the last night you would ever see. Tonight was the last night where you would do any of your normal things.
Blood spilled from all the wounds I had caused. Blood poured out of you and settled its self onto the white sheets, probably seeping into the mattress by now. Like I had said, it was easier then I ever thought it could be. I should look away, walk away, but I can’t. I just stand here at the foot of the bed staring at you, the knife still in my hand, blood dripping to the floor. It’s almost like some horror movie, except the killer normally goes away by now, but not me. I just stand and stare. I stare at the work that I have done. “You should’ve gone,” I whisper, even though you will never hear anything I utter to you again. But I still had to say it. You really should have gone away.
“Gerard.”
Frank. I had forgotten that he had stayed here tonight. Not that it would’ve mattered. I had made up my mind. It was happening tonight whether he was here or not. I don’t move, don’t even look at him until he speaks again.
“Gerard, what did you do?”
I just stared at him for a moment before I could say anything to him. “I killed her,” I simply replied and then I looked away from him and just stared at her body once more. It was like a car crash. You know you shouldn’t stare, but you just can’t help it. Well, that’s what our relationship was, one big car crash. Not anymore though. No more crash. No more pretending. You’re free of me, and I’m free of you.
Author: ghost_of_helena
Rating: PG
POV: Gerard’s
Summary: I did the unthinkable and I don’t regret it.
Disclaimer: It's all FAKE. Never happened. Don't know them. Never will.
It was easier then I had thought it would be. The thought had crossed my mind several times, but I never thought I could actually do it. I mean, why would I? I wasn’t that cold hearted, was I? Maybe I am, maybe I’m not, and it doesn’t really matter anymore. I did the unthinkable and I don’t regret it. You think I would, but I don’t. I actually feel relived.
There will be no more fighting. No more of you trying to change who I am. Though, I don’t know why you would try and do that for. You said you loved me. Said you loved who I was, but you were always trying to make me be somebody else. Someone you really wanted deep down inside. I’m sorry I couldn’t be that person. That person you truly wanted, but just couldn’t say you wanted.
After all of the times I disappointed you, hurt your feelings, and made you cry I would’ve thought that you would have left me a long time ago. But you never did leave. You continued to be there. Right there by my side no matter what I did. No matter how fucked up I made things. You said you wouldn’t leave me because you loved me too much. I was your every thing and you couldn’t imagine spending your life without me. I wish you had been able to imagine your life without me. If you had then you would’ve gone away. So far away from me, somewhere where I couldn’t have hurt you.
But you just couldn’t do it. And now there you lay on the bed, alone. You’re not moving. You’re not breathing. You’re dead to the world. You’re dead to the world because of me. Because I decided that tonight was the last night you would ever see. Tonight was the last night where you would do any of your normal things.
Blood spilled from all the wounds I had caused. Blood poured out of you and settled its self onto the white sheets, probably seeping into the mattress by now. Like I had said, it was easier then I ever thought it could be. I should look away, walk away, but I can’t. I just stand here at the foot of the bed staring at you, the knife still in my hand, blood dripping to the floor. It’s almost like some horror movie, except the killer normally goes away by now, but not me. I just stand and stare. I stare at the work that I have done. “You should’ve gone,” I whisper, even though you will never hear anything I utter to you again. But I still had to say it. You really should have gone away.
“Gerard.”
Frank. I had forgotten that he had stayed here tonight. Not that it would’ve mattered. I had made up my mind. It was happening tonight whether he was here or not. I don’t move, don’t even look at him until he speaks again.
“Gerard, what did you do?”
I just stared at him for a moment before I could say anything to him. “I killed her,” I simply replied and then I looked away from him and just stared at her body once more. It was like a car crash. You know you shouldn’t stare, but you just can’t help it. Well, that’s what our relationship was, one big car crash. Not anymore though. No more crash. No more pretending. You’re free of me, and I’m free of you.