(no subject)
I know I have not been updating as often as I said. Although, I’m not really sure how many people read so yea..
Why is it that I always seem to push people away from me? Why can’t I let people get close, and stay close? It always seems like I can’t be good enough for anyone, I know (or at least hope) that most people don’t feel that way, but its how I feel. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t always end up getting close to people that I “can’t have”. Makes me feel like every step closer they take to me, I shouldn’t let them I should resist for their own good.
So in the end, no matter how much I say I won’t, I still analyze what I should and shouldn’t do. Once again I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this and my lack of experience with people makes me most likely over analyze in the wrong way. I guess only time will tell, I need to start thinking about myself as well as the other person; for some reason that is just so hard for me.
On a unrelated note, I haven’t seen Vz Kate around lately, I’m not sure If I’m still on her “I don’t like you right now and ignoring you” list or not so I don’t want to press my luck to make sure she’s ok. Plus maybe I just didn’t notice but she’s been around, I don’t actively check for her or anything so maybe the last couple times I wanted to tell her something she wasn’t around and I’m just jumping to conclusions. Oh well. That’s it for now.
Why is it that I always seem to push people away from me? Why can’t I let people get close, and stay close? It always seems like I can’t be good enough for anyone, I know (or at least hope) that most people don’t feel that way, but its how I feel. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t always end up getting close to people that I “can’t have”. Makes me feel like every step closer they take to me, I shouldn’t let them I should resist for their own good.
So in the end, no matter how much I say I won’t, I still analyze what I should and shouldn’t do. Once again I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this and my lack of experience with people makes me most likely over analyze in the wrong way. I guess only time will tell, I need to start thinking about myself as well as the other person; for some reason that is just so hard for me.
On a unrelated note, I haven’t seen Vz Kate around lately, I’m not sure If I’m still on her “I don’t like you right now and ignoring you” list or not so I don’t want to press my luck to make sure she’s ok. Plus maybe I just didn’t notice but she’s been around, I don’t actively check for her or anything so maybe the last couple times I wanted to tell her something she wasn’t around and I’m just jumping to conclusions. Oh well. That’s it for now.