health notes, as is
t felt important to me to blog this now, before bed. Now I am tired, and this post ended up being so long, I don't have the energy to proof it. during the spell check Jaws crashed to the point where it needs a restart, which I won't do. So here it goes, as is.
I have not found the time to blog in the past week, it has been busy, and when I am on the computer I seem to be checking LJ and talking to people.
The update post I've needed has not come through and I have to accept that. So here are some health notes.
On the 16th of January I was discharged from Royal Perth, I was there overnight as Kerry took me in the evening after he had finished work, so he could speak for me as I was not thinking well.
They took me off the Imipramine to help my thinking.
I have a suspected pinched nerve in my back which gives me trouble, it's not really pain as such, it's these bizarre twinges. I was waking up in the early morning in a panic from the pain or numbness as it would seize up during the night. the solution is to take some panadol before bed, which helps for the most part, although it wares off after the 6 hours.
Yesterday I went for a massage to see if that would help. Unfortunately it just seemed to stir things up. By this morning I was so uncomfortable that I freaked out. I was an anxiety driven mess for all the morning, until lunch time we got me to eat an apple and take some St Jon's Wart we had on standby. I have taken it this evening as well. So far I am feeling a lot clearer and freer of mind. My psych approved it a couple of weeks ago when I saw her, it was just a matter of if I felt I need it, and today's crash says that yes I really do.
The back troubles niggle at me over time, and when I wake up, I feel a panic because some of my back is in pain and some of it is numb. If my anxiety switch triggers completely, my mind is full of shit and I can't calm down, and I can't quieten my mind. I don't know what that's all about, but that's how I ended up on Zyprexa last year.
Also, my sight is buggering up. I didn’t realise as to how much until I saw my optometrist last Friday. I am squeezing my head around to look through a spot near my nose, as this is where my nystagmous is the most controllable. When I don't, I can't focus. The images through the rest of my eyes were freaking me out as they are shaking so much, ridiculously so. Also turning my head is screwing my back up even more, not that it needs much encouragement. My dreams were of images that I couldn't hold still and freaked me out, with noise of lots of voices shouting that I couldn't distinguish, and I was waking up very stressed.
Funnily enough when I was in hospital the pain was in my left leg but now it is in my right side. I think that has been bent that way because of my posture issues because of my sight.
So a combination of my back and my eyes sent me into freakout state.
That was the second incident, the first one was on Sunday night, Kerry and Chris unintentionally wound me up and I had no outlet so my brain exploded.
I'd like to know from the psych what it is that it possibly could be, because I was never quite diagnosed with schizophrenia or anxiety disorder so I'm a bit confused as to what happens to me.
I'm also really disappointed that I could break down this easily. Well I say easily, understandably when you look at what's wrong with me, but I honestly thought I had it under control, I felt stronger than I actually am. I don't like the loss of control because I don't understand why it happens.
Also I'd like things to be in some sort of steady state so I can get on with my life. I can accept that maybe I won't be as productive as I would like because of my back and eyes, but this freaking out stuff really knocks a dent in my schedule, never mind being a strain on Kerry.
Enough typing. I have suspected carpel tunnel syndrome in my left wrist so typing is kinda awkward, probably one reason I've been putting off posting. I get referred tingles in my right hand too from my back. Sometimes this is worse than the tingles in my left.
Fortunately I am night tired now, even though I slept most of the day. Hopefully tomorrow and the weekend I can be more productive and can catch up on a whole load of things that have stacked up.
That is the downside of being social as we were last weekend, it is nice, but other things pile up on you as well, and then when you're sick it gets worse.
Monday I have to be better for if I can help it. I should be, I'm ok at the moment, we see how crapped out I am when I wake tomorrow. Monday I have eye appointment where I get to find out whether I've got glaucoma or if my eyes are being screwed for some other random reason. I also have my Equity appointment which should be interesting. Hi Helen I'm still a bit screwed but I'm here anyway. Here's my last discharge letter and I need a letter from my new psych to say that I'm still nuts. In the afternoon I get to see my psych and explain it all to her and see what she thinks.
Panadol and bed now.
I have not found the time to blog in the past week, it has been busy, and when I am on the computer I seem to be checking LJ and talking to people.
The update post I've needed has not come through and I have to accept that. So here are some health notes.
On the 16th of January I was discharged from Royal Perth, I was there overnight as Kerry took me in the evening after he had finished work, so he could speak for me as I was not thinking well.
They took me off the Imipramine to help my thinking.
I have a suspected pinched nerve in my back which gives me trouble, it's not really pain as such, it's these bizarre twinges. I was waking up in the early morning in a panic from the pain or numbness as it would seize up during the night. the solution is to take some panadol before bed, which helps for the most part, although it wares off after the 6 hours.
Yesterday I went for a massage to see if that would help. Unfortunately it just seemed to stir things up. By this morning I was so uncomfortable that I freaked out. I was an anxiety driven mess for all the morning, until lunch time we got me to eat an apple and take some St Jon's Wart we had on standby. I have taken it this evening as well. So far I am feeling a lot clearer and freer of mind. My psych approved it a couple of weeks ago when I saw her, it was just a matter of if I felt I need it, and today's crash says that yes I really do.
The back troubles niggle at me over time, and when I wake up, I feel a panic because some of my back is in pain and some of it is numb. If my anxiety switch triggers completely, my mind is full of shit and I can't calm down, and I can't quieten my mind. I don't know what that's all about, but that's how I ended up on Zyprexa last year.
Also, my sight is buggering up. I didn’t realise as to how much until I saw my optometrist last Friday. I am squeezing my head around to look through a spot near my nose, as this is where my nystagmous is the most controllable. When I don't, I can't focus. The images through the rest of my eyes were freaking me out as they are shaking so much, ridiculously so. Also turning my head is screwing my back up even more, not that it needs much encouragement. My dreams were of images that I couldn't hold still and freaked me out, with noise of lots of voices shouting that I couldn't distinguish, and I was waking up very stressed.
Funnily enough when I was in hospital the pain was in my left leg but now it is in my right side. I think that has been bent that way because of my posture issues because of my sight.
So a combination of my back and my eyes sent me into freakout state.
That was the second incident, the first one was on Sunday night, Kerry and Chris unintentionally wound me up and I had no outlet so my brain exploded.
I'd like to know from the psych what it is that it possibly could be, because I was never quite diagnosed with schizophrenia or anxiety disorder so I'm a bit confused as to what happens to me.
I'm also really disappointed that I could break down this easily. Well I say easily, understandably when you look at what's wrong with me, but I honestly thought I had it under control, I felt stronger than I actually am. I don't like the loss of control because I don't understand why it happens.
Also I'd like things to be in some sort of steady state so I can get on with my life. I can accept that maybe I won't be as productive as I would like because of my back and eyes, but this freaking out stuff really knocks a dent in my schedule, never mind being a strain on Kerry.
Enough typing. I have suspected carpel tunnel syndrome in my left wrist so typing is kinda awkward, probably one reason I've been putting off posting. I get referred tingles in my right hand too from my back. Sometimes this is worse than the tingles in my left.
Fortunately I am night tired now, even though I slept most of the day. Hopefully tomorrow and the weekend I can be more productive and can catch up on a whole load of things that have stacked up.
That is the downside of being social as we were last weekend, it is nice, but other things pile up on you as well, and then when you're sick it gets worse.
Monday I have to be better for if I can help it. I should be, I'm ok at the moment, we see how crapped out I am when I wake tomorrow. Monday I have eye appointment where I get to find out whether I've got glaucoma or if my eyes are being screwed for some other random reason. I also have my Equity appointment which should be interesting. Hi Helen I'm still a bit screwed but I'm here anyway. Here's my last discharge letter and I need a letter from my new psych to say that I'm still nuts. In the afternoon I get to see my psych and explain it all to her and see what she thinks.
Panadol and bed now.