(no subject)
I am pretty sure that I moved to Indianapolis for this weekend.
Ok, that's a little extreme, but I did notice that in my last two years of high school, I was spending 4-6 weekends a year up here and I was getting kind of sick of driving out here and feeling like Indy is the center of the world. It is the center of the marching world now. It just put me in a better location for everything that is important to me - colorguard, family, friends, etc.
But anyway, now I am here and I am being such an elitist, as though I have lived here for my entire life and not three months. There is perhaps no feeling more proud and yet simultaneously frustrating as being the one native in a crowd of idiot tourists. You can scoff at their ignorance and congratulate yourself for your talented command of the city's streets and the best places to eat and laugh snarikly as everyone else heads back to hotel rooms and you return to the comfort of your own bed with a satisfied feeling of superiority.
I've been learning a lot about myself this week. I don't like all of it, but it's here, weighing me down nonetheless until I get it out.
I'm bored here. I'm not in a colorguard, so drama levels are LOW and I'm used to such a high dosage that this is just weird. I am developing crushes on guys solely for hope of stirring up trouble.
Ok, so I just tried to spell that "sturring" and earlier, weighing as "waying". I can ALWAYS spell. This is an indicator that I am delrious. But before I go, I gotta get a FEW things out really quick.
I worked airlock at BOA tonight with this old guy and we were chatting about marching band and drum corps and stuff, and he asked me if I was still going to march now that CR is gone, and I told him where I was auditioning, and he was like, "Can you write down your name on a piece of paper for me?" Apparently his son in law = Tim Fairbanks of Centerville Jazz Band fame and he is going to be working at Bluecoats next summer. Sweeeeeeet.
ALSO: I am inadvertantly a Cavaliers stalker. I don't mean to be anymore, but I was obsessed with them for so long that I just know too much. However, it's funny that once you actually know the guys(in a saw-them-all-summer-on-tour way, not stalker way) you realize they are EVERYWHERE at band events, just dressed incognito. I can't imagine how people would react if you told bandos that the two guys standing next to them in the crowd are the drum major and center snare of the Cavies. I imagine lots of shrieking and picture-taking would ensure, at least based on the reactions those boys get at Summer Symposium every year. Anyway, to the funny story: I'm not going to tell you who, but there is this one guy who I think is just an amazing perfomer, and I thought he was so cool that when I finally saw him this summer I just kind of stared and was like shit, I can't talk to you because that will ruin my image! And so I kind of awkwardly stared again tonight (a little less awkward, I hope) and he kind of awkwardly stared back and I think he remembers our awkward staring at each other this summer. and so then I couldn't STOP awkwardly staring. hahahhaaaa I love it.
I REALLY miss the Ridge. I know that sounds SOOOOOO crazy, but I do. I really do. I miss the smell and the bleachers and the weight room when it rains and the library and the auditorium with rediculous corps meetings and the time the snare stole my blue shorts and underwear and SCV at nights and 19 million 1 and 1s with Amy and mail drops and running 3 miles and the first Walmart stop and walks in the dark and the DBOYS. I miss it so much. The Ridge is a symbol for everything right at the beginning of the season... for just us, in isolation - no competition, no judges, no police cars and ambulances... just family. I'll be so sad if my auditions this year are at nice schools. There was a beautiful charm in the Ridge's jank, and that is what I will miss more than anything about CapReg in terms of organization.
I practiced clarinet tonight and there was NO ONE at Lily. Freaking creepy. Here are my genuine thoughts walking home in the torrential rains in the dark at 11:30 pm:
Maybe I should wait until it stops raining to walk home. No, rapists are more likely to go inside when it rains. Now would be safer.
*a few minutes later*
Why am I worried about rapists? I'm wearing a rugby. Rapists don't rape people wearing rugbies.
I'm going to read and GET EXCITED for semifinals and a surprise guest!!!!!!!!
Next morning: I spelled delerious wrong...haha. Also, I passed out and almost missed dress rehearsal!
Ok, that's a little extreme, but I did notice that in my last two years of high school, I was spending 4-6 weekends a year up here and I was getting kind of sick of driving out here and feeling like Indy is the center of the world. It is the center of the marching world now. It just put me in a better location for everything that is important to me - colorguard, family, friends, etc.
But anyway, now I am here and I am being such an elitist, as though I have lived here for my entire life and not three months. There is perhaps no feeling more proud and yet simultaneously frustrating as being the one native in a crowd of idiot tourists. You can scoff at their ignorance and congratulate yourself for your talented command of the city's streets and the best places to eat and laugh snarikly as everyone else heads back to hotel rooms and you return to the comfort of your own bed with a satisfied feeling of superiority.
I've been learning a lot about myself this week. I don't like all of it, but it's here, weighing me down nonetheless until I get it out.
I'm bored here. I'm not in a colorguard, so drama levels are LOW and I'm used to such a high dosage that this is just weird. I am developing crushes on guys solely for hope of stirring up trouble.
Ok, so I just tried to spell that "sturring" and earlier, weighing as "waying". I can ALWAYS spell. This is an indicator that I am delrious. But before I go, I gotta get a FEW things out really quick.
I worked airlock at BOA tonight with this old guy and we were chatting about marching band and drum corps and stuff, and he asked me if I was still going to march now that CR is gone, and I told him where I was auditioning, and he was like, "Can you write down your name on a piece of paper for me?" Apparently his son in law = Tim Fairbanks of Centerville Jazz Band fame and he is going to be working at Bluecoats next summer. Sweeeeeeet.
ALSO: I am inadvertantly a Cavaliers stalker. I don't mean to be anymore, but I was obsessed with them for so long that I just know too much. However, it's funny that once you actually know the guys(in a saw-them-all-summer-on-tour way, not stalker way) you realize they are EVERYWHERE at band events, just dressed incognito. I can't imagine how people would react if you told bandos that the two guys standing next to them in the crowd are the drum major and center snare of the Cavies. I imagine lots of shrieking and picture-taking would ensure, at least based on the reactions those boys get at Summer Symposium every year. Anyway, to the funny story: I'm not going to tell you who, but there is this one guy who I think is just an amazing perfomer, and I thought he was so cool that when I finally saw him this summer I just kind of stared and was like shit, I can't talk to you because that will ruin my image! And so I kind of awkwardly stared again tonight (a little less awkward, I hope) and he kind of awkwardly stared back and I think he remembers our awkward staring at each other this summer. and so then I couldn't STOP awkwardly staring. hahahhaaaa I love it.
I REALLY miss the Ridge. I know that sounds SOOOOOO crazy, but I do. I really do. I miss the smell and the bleachers and the weight room when it rains and the library and the auditorium with rediculous corps meetings and the time the snare stole my blue shorts and underwear and SCV at nights and 19 million 1 and 1s with Amy and mail drops and running 3 miles and the first Walmart stop and walks in the dark and the DBOYS. I miss it so much. The Ridge is a symbol for everything right at the beginning of the season... for just us, in isolation - no competition, no judges, no police cars and ambulances... just family. I'll be so sad if my auditions this year are at nice schools. There was a beautiful charm in the Ridge's jank, and that is what I will miss more than anything about CapReg in terms of organization.
I practiced clarinet tonight and there was NO ONE at Lily. Freaking creepy. Here are my genuine thoughts walking home in the torrential rains in the dark at 11:30 pm:
Maybe I should wait until it stops raining to walk home. No, rapists are more likely to go inside when it rains. Now would be safer.
*a few minutes later*
Why am I worried about rapists? I'm wearing a rugby. Rapists don't rape people wearing rugbies.
I'm going to read and GET EXCITED for semifinals and a surprise guest!!!!!!!!
Next morning: I spelled delerious wrong...haha. Also, I passed out and almost missed dress rehearsal!